College Essay (First Draft)
Five hundred words is all I’m allowed to write this essay with. Was that last sentence even worth writing? I’m sure you think it wasn’t. And probably it won’t be kept in the final draft, but its just something to amuse me. Or maybe its something to get me started on this essay, which I am having a considerable amount of trouble starting.
Where do I begin anyway? I mean I came into highschool slightly overweight, and lacking social graces that were necessary to fit into the place. Gradually I became better at everything. Is this even what your looking for? Now I know your not suppose to use “you” in an essay, because it personalizes it, or something like that, but I don’t know, it seemed appropriate to fit in with my angst. For the first two years of highschool I took my academic life as a bit of a joke. I would always get these lectures about how I had the talent, but lacked the ambition. I hated these. They offered no help as to where to find the ambition, they just simply stated that there was a lacking. I always would find myself wondering what the point of it all was. We were all preparing for something, but we nobody even knew what it was. Its something that bothers everyone at points in there life. I’m still struggling with it as I write this essay.
Anyway Junior came, and I found myself making new friends. Don’t take that last sentence lightly. These new friends gave me one of the greatest commodities available to a sixteen year old highschool student, prospect. Days had a new light to them, if only because the night was so unpredictable. But what is probably more important to you than that, is how I started taking school more serious. I started getting better grades, and either because of, or in spite of it (a phrase that I have taken and misconstrued from a one J.D. Salinger) I began to enjoy school more too. Things seemed to be going somewhere. Something else happened that year too. As insignificant, and juvenile as this may sound, I found a website. Its called LiveJournal.com. I’m not sure if your familiar with it, but it’s a simple blog site that allows the user to write journal entries. I loved this, it was an open forum for me to complain, or elaborate on any issue that I wanted. Everything I would say to myself in my head now had a tangible place to exist. And people who read it left feedback, as to how they were inspired, or how they felt what I was feeling.
What I hope I’ve given you in this essay are two feelings I hope to carry with me into Amherst. In fact I think there two feelings that make me want to go to Amherst. I want to have that prospect available to me, it’s a feeling that up until now I owe to my friends. But more importantly, my driving force (That is to say the thing that wants me to take my education further) is that I want to inspire people. To be more specific, have you ever listened to a song or read a book, heard lyric or read a line, and it gives you this feeling of connection between you and the artist. The feeling soon leads to the chills. And you spend your waking hours analyzing that line, trying to figure out its meaning. Well, I want to be responsible for that.
thats my college essay in its infant stage. before teachers and guidance counselors start tearing it apart, fixing grammar, losing the meaning so it fits the rules.
please tell me what you think about it. i'm not at all opposed to scrapping it and writing a new one, but they told me to write something to express myself... and at 1 oclock in the morning, this was the best i could do.
i appreciate your feedback a lot.
love greg
ps. bringing up live journal was kind of lame, and upon proof reading im considering taking it out.
Where do I begin anyway? I mean I came into highschool slightly overweight, and lacking social graces that were necessary to fit into the place. Gradually I became better at everything. Is this even what your looking for? Now I know your not suppose to use “you” in an essay, because it personalizes it, or something like that, but I don’t know, it seemed appropriate to fit in with my angst. For the first two years of highschool I took my academic life as a bit of a joke. I would always get these lectures about how I had the talent, but lacked the ambition. I hated these. They offered no help as to where to find the ambition, they just simply stated that there was a lacking. I always would find myself wondering what the point of it all was. We were all preparing for something, but we nobody even knew what it was. Its something that bothers everyone at points in there life. I’m still struggling with it as I write this essay.
Anyway Junior came, and I found myself making new friends. Don’t take that last sentence lightly. These new friends gave me one of the greatest commodities available to a sixteen year old highschool student, prospect. Days had a new light to them, if only because the night was so unpredictable. But what is probably more important to you than that, is how I started taking school more serious. I started getting better grades, and either because of, or in spite of it (a phrase that I have taken and misconstrued from a one J.D. Salinger) I began to enjoy school more too. Things seemed to be going somewhere. Something else happened that year too. As insignificant, and juvenile as this may sound, I found a website. Its called LiveJournal.com. I’m not sure if your familiar with it, but it’s a simple blog site that allows the user to write journal entries. I loved this, it was an open forum for me to complain, or elaborate on any issue that I wanted. Everything I would say to myself in my head now had a tangible place to exist. And people who read it left feedback, as to how they were inspired, or how they felt what I was feeling.
What I hope I’ve given you in this essay are two feelings I hope to carry with me into Amherst. In fact I think there two feelings that make me want to go to Amherst. I want to have that prospect available to me, it’s a feeling that up until now I owe to my friends. But more importantly, my driving force (That is to say the thing that wants me to take my education further) is that I want to inspire people. To be more specific, have you ever listened to a song or read a book, heard lyric or read a line, and it gives you this feeling of connection between you and the artist. The feeling soon leads to the chills. And you spend your waking hours analyzing that line, trying to figure out its meaning. Well, I want to be responsible for that.
thats my college essay in its infant stage. before teachers and guidance counselors start tearing it apart, fixing grammar, losing the meaning so it fits the rules.
please tell me what you think about it. i'm not at all opposed to scrapping it and writing a new one, but they told me to write something to express myself... and at 1 oclock in the morning, this was the best i could do.
i appreciate your feedback a lot.
love greg
ps. bringing up live journal was kind of lame, and upon proof reading im considering taking it out.