life is a road...
"no one told me, i was going to find you...unexpected, what you did to my heart. when i lost hope, you were there to remind me, this is the start. and life is a road and i wanna keep going, love is a river i wanna keep flowing, life is a road now and forever, wonderful journey. i'll be there when the world stops turning, i'll be there when the storm is through, in the end i wanna be standing at the beginning with you"
i love that song. you can take it to mean so much stuff. so my family is in. it's a fun time but whatever. my family is so messed up and whatever, that i can't really begin to explain. it's just you have to live in it or experience something deranged enough to get what i'm talking about. if people knew everything about everyone in my family, the countless divorces per person...actually i won't hit on all the messed up-ness. but anyways, it's always interesting. sometimes i am just so thankful that i turned out alright. or at least i think i did. i'm thankful that i'm not stuck in this. i wanna be the sane one. the one that brings normality to everything. i won't settle for less. but whatever. i'm sitting here thinking about all the stuff i wanna do. like i always am about living in the present -- but my mind's elsewhere. i'm ready to go to reunion over new years, i'm ready to go to dallas after that -- i'm ready for these days (12/30-1/4)...that's what i'm talking about. i'm scared about next semester. i really don't know about my roommates. i really hate that my best friend has moved out. i am so excited that she gets to study abroad, but i don't want her to. i'm selfish. there are about 5 people i would just make live near me forever and be happy. but life doesn't work like that. after i graduate i'm gonna try to get one of them to move with me to where another one lives. i don't know. i need my friends. i've become attached. there's too much of me needing them. i wanna take all this energy and put it on the Lord. i want to be like this towards Him all the time. instead of facebook messaging the same people, calling the same people, thinking about the same people -- i wanna be more global. and i wanna be more "vertical". i want to get out of this comfort zone of friends i have. but i love them. really i do. love. and i mean that. i never knew love til i met these people. and not so much love them...but am in love with them - all of them, collectively and individually. and that's not weird. cause if you think it is you haven't experienced it. true friendship brings tears to my eyes it's so beautiful. i just think people take people for granted sometimes. that's not directed towards anyone, but i look at friendships of mine that have failed, and those of others...and it's because we don't truly appreciate that other person. why can't we be "all there" when we hang out with our friends. why are we always thinking about something else, someone else, where we could be with someone we like more than who we're with...that's lame. we should be all there with everyone at all times. and i'm not saying i'm not guilty of this. but when i get with one of those 5 people -- i'm all there. and it's beautiful. because i truly appreciate what i have. i'm so gonna rock this site today....
i'm tired of people saying "happy holidays". that's not cool. they say that to me and i say "merry christmas" right back to them. we do not need to be politically correct. freedom of speech, religion...you can say whatever it is you're associated with. just because a business says "happy chanukah" doesn't mean they're not going to get my business. just because a restaurant is jewish, christian, atheist...doesn't mean their food is affected at all. so you say you're thing, and i'll say mine. ugh! why are there all these christians saying happy holidays. NO. identify yourself with Christ.
i really just want something. and i don't know what it is. it's like...i can't describe it. but i miss some people a lot - and sometimes i wonder, do you miss me?
...anything more and i'd be talking just to hear the keys and the sounds they make on my laptop. back to aim chatting...
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i love that song. you can take it to mean so much stuff. so my family is in. it's a fun time but whatever. my family is so messed up and whatever, that i can't really begin to explain. it's just you have to live in it or experience something deranged enough to get what i'm talking about. if people knew everything about everyone in my family, the countless divorces per person...actually i won't hit on all the messed up-ness. but anyways, it's always interesting. sometimes i am just so thankful that i turned out alright. or at least i think i did. i'm thankful that i'm not stuck in this. i wanna be the sane one. the one that brings normality to everything. i won't settle for less. but whatever. i'm sitting here thinking about all the stuff i wanna do. like i always am about living in the present -- but my mind's elsewhere. i'm ready to go to reunion over new years, i'm ready to go to dallas after that -- i'm ready for these days (12/30-1/4)...that's what i'm talking about. i'm scared about next semester. i really don't know about my roommates. i really hate that my best friend has moved out. i am so excited that she gets to study abroad, but i don't want her to. i'm selfish. there are about 5 people i would just make live near me forever and be happy. but life doesn't work like that. after i graduate i'm gonna try to get one of them to move with me to where another one lives. i don't know. i need my friends. i've become attached. there's too much of me needing them. i wanna take all this energy and put it on the Lord. i want to be like this towards Him all the time. instead of facebook messaging the same people, calling the same people, thinking about the same people -- i wanna be more global. and i wanna be more "vertical". i want to get out of this comfort zone of friends i have. but i love them. really i do. love. and i mean that. i never knew love til i met these people. and not so much love them...but am in love with them - all of them, collectively and individually. and that's not weird. cause if you think it is you haven't experienced it. true friendship brings tears to my eyes it's so beautiful. i just think people take people for granted sometimes. that's not directed towards anyone, but i look at friendships of mine that have failed, and those of others...and it's because we don't truly appreciate that other person. why can't we be "all there" when we hang out with our friends. why are we always thinking about something else, someone else, where we could be with someone we like more than who we're with...that's lame. we should be all there with everyone at all times. and i'm not saying i'm not guilty of this. but when i get with one of those 5 people -- i'm all there. and it's beautiful. because i truly appreciate what i have. i'm so gonna rock this site today....
i'm tired of people saying "happy holidays". that's not cool. they say that to me and i say "merry christmas" right back to them. we do not need to be politically correct. freedom of speech, religion...you can say whatever it is you're associated with. just because a business says "happy chanukah" doesn't mean they're not going to get my business. just because a restaurant is jewish, christian, atheist...doesn't mean their food is affected at all. so you say you're thing, and i'll say mine. ugh! why are there all these christians saying happy holidays. NO. identify yourself with Christ.
i really just want something. and i don't know what it is. it's like...i can't describe it. but i miss some people a lot - and sometimes i wonder, do you miss me?
...anything more and i'd be talking just to hear the keys and the sounds they make on my laptop. back to aim chatting...
MERRY CHRISTMAS.