(no subject)
So I have this blank box up and I'm meant to be writing why I should go to Emily Carr art school in Vancouver on exchange next year, and I'm just blabbering about mountains and sea and not really having a good enough reason. I may as well try though, and I'm very happy staying here if I don't get in. So, the last few months have been very much a complete whirlwind. I love living in Glasgow, I love the art school, I love the snowy mountains I saw from my kitchen making tea this morning, I love watching harriet the spy and drinking whisky gingers/ copious amounts of chai with steph and cat, I love lots. There's also lots I don't like about university life, but I'm good at cutting myself off from that. I think what I'm struggling most with is this feeling that I'm completely not good enough to be here. I walk round the studios and just want to cry. I feel like I work and work here, and yet I never have as much as everyone else, it's never as focussed or 'post-modern'. I hate 'post-modern'. I hate being told to look at 'contemporary', 'political' 'issues'. I know I shouldn't, and I know it's really a good thing that I'm finding it so challenging... and I can see it changing my work for the better... but why does everything have to be cutting-edge and radical and politicised? Why is nothing allowed to be beautiful? I feel like going somewhere exciting. I want to go back to the isle of arran and get stranded again, I want to go up to mull and iona and just catch a train somewhere and camp. Instead I think I'll make another cuppa chai and curl back in bed with my book about wolves.