Leaving summer’s warmth for autumn’s wind.
Title: Leaving summer’s warmth for autumn’s wind. Author thinkingfood
Rating: PG
Pairing/Focus: Jongkey/ Onkey
Summary: Key is finally happy after Jonghyun leaves but when Key finds out that Jinki's best friend that comes to visit is Jonghyun his whole world turns upside down
A/N: this is in dedication to my three dongsaengies twinklespink, illoveminho, and neonpickles, my two dears who are always giving me lots of love in my comments jongkeylove17, and eunki, and my yeobo who i miss talking to choon_hee
Some types of happiness are not easy to forget.
The sun shined high in the blue skies, the long awaited summer warmth gracing the world happily. A slight rumbling from the engine of Jinki’s ancient Ford played the bassing background beat of Jinki’s off pitched singing, the ear to ear grin smile of the tuneless musician never diminishing as he sped to the train station to meet his long time friend.
“Sing too.” Jinki nudged Key with the tip of his elbow, still keeping both hands on the cracking dirty leather of the steering wheel.
“Ring Ding Dong, Ring Ding Dong, Ring diggy ding diggy, Ding ding ding.” Key giggles ended his little song, the pitchless tone bringing him silly jubilance.
We used to laugh like this, our voices floating kites in the autumn wind. Do you remember?
-------------------
“Jonghyun-ah!!”
“Jinki!”
The older ran to Jonghyun throwing his arms open, trapping the two in a long series of tight hugs as he fired multiples of questions. “How are you? You‘ve been working out! I‘ve missed you so much.”
Key lazily lounged in the passenger seat, stretching and yawning as the two friends made their heart filled greetings to each other outside. Hearing Jinki’s footsteps approach the door, Key got ready to welcome his boyfriend’s old friend with one of his killer smiles. “Ja Ja,” the excited middle man exclaimed, throwing his hands up to emphasis the sitting beauty in car. Jonghyun quickly smiled, leaning his chest against the frame of door. Both turned to view the person they had heard so much about, their happiness dropping to plummeting levels as each saw a familiar face. Key was the first to look away, the locked up memories he rather forget storming in like a horrible nightmare.
‘’I’m leaving” were the last words Jonghyun spoke to Key. It was nice Autumn day, a nice breezy wind fanning the bodies sprawled out on the red checked picnic blanket Key had packed for their little trip earlier that day. The showers of laugher the two had shared moments ago- pretending to read each other’s future by tracing the lines of their palms, sweetly smiling at promises of a forever relationship- disappeared with the mention of the two words. The past two years of ups and downs passed through the younger boy’s eyes: Dates, moving in together,… the first time they meet.
A sunny Autumn day not much different from the current one the lovers laid in now, fated Jonghyun and Key together. Jonghyun, a student of an exchange program at the time, had taken the day to relax from the everyday stresses of live and found himself leisurely strolling down the stoned roads of Taipei with absolutely nothing to do. Hands in pockets, the student zoned out the surrounding area letting his feet carry him wherever.
“Ugh I don’t know which to pick,” Jonghyun heard a distressed voice sigh. Huffing and puffing Key held a pair of underwear in each of his hands, the material dangling in front of his face as he focused all his energy on the oh-so crucial decision.
“I like the pink pair with the hearts.” Key jumped at the answer, embarrassed that a total stranger heard and answered a question about his undergarments. His cheeks reddened as he swiveled his body to face the commenting person. “T-t-thanks,” Key stumbled out, looking everywhere to avoid eye contact. Key gave a speedy bow before sprinting to the cash register to pay and leave.
Jonghyun chuckled, thinking of how cute the boy looked because of his embarrassment. Running to follow the boy Jonghyun screams “Would you like to go out for drinks now?” at the escaping body, who stops to reply a short yes in return. The rest is history.
But those times were in the past. 2 weeks after his confession, Key sulked on Jonghyun’s bed as he watched his lover pack his things , the passport, train ticket, and wallet sitting next to the younger one waiting to be used. Boxes began to while up as the room emptied, the personal touch of love removed to leave bare walls, seeming as if the love had never happened. “I‘m done,” Jonghyun called, throwing the last of his belongings in a bag. Key tilted his head up to look at Jonghyun, eyes pleading desperately for him to stay with him.
Outside Jonghyun stretched his arms around Key’s waist, pressing their cheeks together as they shared one last hug. Key stood still not moving to hug the other boy closer, the happy glow that once light inside his heart dimming to a darkness. Their joy stayed forgotten on the doorstep, wrapped in precious memories, when Jonghyun pulled away to climb inside the taxi. Key remembers everything about that day, what Jonghyun smelled like, what he wore, how he left.
Nothing last forever…..
-----------------------------
“Ahh Key- ah this is my best friend since high school Kim Jonghyun.” Jinki lightly patted the visitor’s thigh his excitement blinding him from the tense situation. Keeping the conversation up Jinki spoke anxiously about the many things the three could do during Jonghyun’s time there. Key couldn’t recall a time Jinki had ever been in a tempered mood, constantly up beat and excited.
Like a Autumn wind carried Jonghyun to Key the same wind ripped him away taking joy and happiness as his companions. Alone Key stayed for winter’s bitter months of cold, praying for his love’s return, nose pressed against the window’s glass. Each day, new and beautiful like freshly fallen snow, brought about a hope of seeing him. An empty hope freezing over his statued heart.
Spring passed as slow as winter, the temperature not rising in the slightest in Key’s mind. Key moved in his still hibernated mode, slipping his house key into the lock and twisting the metal to the right to hear the opening click. A shadow covered the middle of his back as a second person leaned over to take a closer at what the lonely home owner was searching for. Key screamed in shock, fleeing into the safety of his home. With his back pressed to the door- closed and locked- Key observed the boy on his doorstep, yelling and knocking repeatedly for entranced. The brunette gave in to the begs and let the stranger to introduce himself.
“Ni hao wo shi Jinki. I‘m from Seoul please help me adapt to your culture.” The man held out his hand for the sitting Key to shake.
“Don’t erase this.” Key said, jumping up from his seat with a stop, pointing to the markered message on the pearl white wall next to his bed. When Jinki fell asleep in the guest room, Key kneeled down sitting on his feet, his fingers tracing every line of each word on the wall.
“Autumn winds keep our growing love flying strong in the vast sky.”
Every night Key repeated the ritual of gliding the pads of his finger’s top against the rough surface, each bump and groove in the wall where the message was signed he committed to memory. Replaying the day Jonghyun left with every touch, tears washing over him.
But with Jinki’s goofy smile and contagious laugh, summer’s warmth melted Key’s frozen heart. Little summer games of tag and chasing butterflies helped Key to learn how to smile and laugh on his own, again, a blossom of joy budding inside from Jinki’s crazy antics.
Summer’s warmth plants the seeds for a flowering love.
---------------------------------
Once inside the house, Jonghyun refused Jinki do anything else for him, giving him hyung a break from playing tour guide. He knew where everything was, why it was like that and how it happened. This was his house, the place where he ate, slept, and talked with Key everyday all the time. Just like the house, Key used to be his.
Sneaking into Key’s room when both had fallen asleep was fairly easy. Jonghyun knew that Key slept through anything as long as the room stayed dark and that Jinki was like a dead man when unconscious. The door squeaked as Jonghyun tip toed inside Key’s room, the floorboards creaking when he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, lowering himself to the ground. It was still there, fading and barely visible, but there none the less. The mattress springs screeched, the sleeping Key turning to lay on this other side. Jonghyun watched the boy in bed for minutes before moving back to the wall to trace the engraved note.
“Autumn winds keep our growing love flying strong in the vast sky.” Jonghyun whispered, ghostly stroking the words as he mumbled them.
“Let‘s fly kites,” Key proposed on a fiercely windy day and after a hurried run to the store, the young couple found themselves in the grassy meadow adjacent to the near by park.
“This is stupid,” Key shouted over the current, jacket violently flowing around like an ill controlled puppet.
“Don‘t worry as long as you hold tight, the kites will soar strongly.”
Jonghyun had written the message that night so Key would never forget their love. Had the faint print began to erase from Key’s memory as well?
--------------------------------------------------
Sitting in front of the blazing fire under a black velvet of the night sky, Jinki and Jonghyun talked, a sleeping Key resting on Jinki’s bent knee thought to be fast asleep. The vigorous day had drained everyone’s energy mellowing the atmosphere to a quiet peace.
Keeping his eyes on the burning flames Jinki voiced the question he had wanted to ask all day, his joking tone changing to become serious.
“Did you come back to Taipei to find your lost love? “
Jonghyun followed Jinki’s posture answering what had been asked straight in the fire. “Yes…no.. I found it…. It doesn’t want me anymore.”
Key’s ears perched to catch the conversation Jinki started.
“Jong what was your lost love like?” Jinki sounded like a child again, asking his mother if Santa Claus was real or if the first day of school is really scary. The lover smiled at a distant thought replying “Too good for me.”
Key snickered, silently agreeing with the statement with a sleepy smile.
“Come on Jongie, tell me!” Jinki whined, playfully shoving the friend over. Jonghyun looked into the night sky, counting a half hundred stars before exhaling deeply.
“It‘s amazing how we met, spontaneous and by fate‘s chance. He had a character always nagging or complaining about something gone wrong. But….” Jonghyun paused a beat before finishing in a soft voice. “But each word brought me the greatest love, he brought me the greatest love and I planned to stay by his side forever. I still want to.”
“Then why are you leaving like this.”
The question was simple but the answer wasn’t.
“It‘s over Jinki he‘s moved on, our relationship just a forgotten memory of the past as he’s starting anew with some else.” while he starts his new with you.
Jinki wanted to ask more but Jonghyun’s face told him his friend couldn’t take anymore, his eyes had lost that sparkle, small tears beginning to drip to the ground as small sobs
Key finally knew Jonghyun’s feelings after two years but with the new information, he felt more confused then ever.
-------------------
The weekend came and went and just as soon as Jonghyun had arrived it was time for him to go.
“Do you really have to go Jong?” Jinki asked, his pout begging for the visitor to say no. “Stay longer please, you don’t have to go back so soon.” Jonghyun chuckled at his friend’s whines, constant throughout the whole ride to the train station- to where the three stood now- and paused to steal a sideways glance to the person he wanted to hear the begs to stay from.
Did he want him to stay too?
The stole cold poker face hinted none to the answer he wanted to hear. Dripping with apathy Key stood, unphased and uncaring of the decision made, filing his nails. Jonghyun opened his mouth to speak, the loud whistling of he approaching train drowning his words. Defeated he moved to say his last goodbyes, first turning to Jinki with praises of how great it was to see him again and how much fun he had together with him. Next the leaver ventured to the disinterested body fixing his nails, snaking his hand around the other’s back in an awkward one armed hug.
“Autumn winds keep our growing love flying strong in the vast sky,” he whispered softly for only two to hear, instantly ending the light hug after his message was delivered. Removing his arm to grab the luggage on the platform. Their time was up and again those two horrid words Key hated the most spilled from Jonghyun’s lips: “I‘m leaving.” He waved at his two hosts thanking them for taking such great care of him during his stay, finally walking down the train’s aisle to sit in front of a window seat. There he sat, his eyes never straying from the beauty that was once his, the departure he never wanted secured.
Key didn’t speak, he couldn’t. The tears of month’s pasted flooded back with Jonghyun’s words, jeopardizing the tough bravado he fronted in front of his heartbreaker. Again his eyes stared through the window but this time instead of waiting for his love’s frame to fill the box, Jonghyun’s body could be seen clear as day. This time his image was real, not one of the many hallucinations playing with his heart’s mind. This time Jonghyun was the one dieing from the wait. This time would be last time both waited.
The train’s wheels squeaked beginning their rotations, the engine groaning to life. As the train chugged gaining speed, Key found is legs doing the same, the brisk walk he held morphing to a rushed sprint as a broken voice choked out pleas. Being alone for so long caused Key to mistake companionship as love. Jinki was always just a friend, occupying Key’s heart from thinking about Jonghyun… from loving him.
The train halted at the running passenger, the conductor waving his arm for Key to board. Key took hold of the railing and looked back to see the shrunken outline that belonged to Jinki. Turning back now would only bring regret, no now it was Key’s turn to travel. To travel back to the place he missed the most. To travel back to Jonghyun, where his heart belonged.
The Autumn’s winds never stop blowing, always bringing back the happiness you thought was lost.
So i wrote this based on the music video Fireflies by a taiwanese singer named Ariel Lin. CHeck it out its a really beautiful song. Ok guys you know the drill!! Comments are love<3333 Enjoy and if you are confused with anything (like the flashbacks) ask me or watching the mv. it helps trust me!!
Rating: PG
Pairing/Focus: Jongkey/ Onkey
Summary: Key is finally happy after Jonghyun leaves but when Key finds out that Jinki's best friend that comes to visit is Jonghyun his whole world turns upside down
A/N: this is in dedication to my three dongsaengies twinklespink, illoveminho, and neonpickles, my two dears who are always giving me lots of love in my comments jongkeylove17, and eunki, and my yeobo who i miss talking to choon_hee
Some types of happiness are not easy to forget.
The sun shined high in the blue skies, the long awaited summer warmth gracing the world happily. A slight rumbling from the engine of Jinki’s ancient Ford played the bassing background beat of Jinki’s off pitched singing, the ear to ear grin smile of the tuneless musician never diminishing as he sped to the train station to meet his long time friend.
“Sing too.” Jinki nudged Key with the tip of his elbow, still keeping both hands on the cracking dirty leather of the steering wheel.
“Ring Ding Dong, Ring Ding Dong, Ring diggy ding diggy, Ding ding ding.” Key giggles ended his little song, the pitchless tone bringing him silly jubilance.
We used to laugh like this, our voices floating kites in the autumn wind. Do you remember?
-------------------
“Jonghyun-ah!!”
“Jinki!”
The older ran to Jonghyun throwing his arms open, trapping the two in a long series of tight hugs as he fired multiples of questions. “How are you? You‘ve been working out! I‘ve missed you so much.”
Key lazily lounged in the passenger seat, stretching and yawning as the two friends made their heart filled greetings to each other outside. Hearing Jinki’s footsteps approach the door, Key got ready to welcome his boyfriend’s old friend with one of his killer smiles. “Ja Ja,” the excited middle man exclaimed, throwing his hands up to emphasis the sitting beauty in car. Jonghyun quickly smiled, leaning his chest against the frame of door. Both turned to view the person they had heard so much about, their happiness dropping to plummeting levels as each saw a familiar face. Key was the first to look away, the locked up memories he rather forget storming in like a horrible nightmare.
‘’I’m leaving” were the last words Jonghyun spoke to Key. It was nice Autumn day, a nice breezy wind fanning the bodies sprawled out on the red checked picnic blanket Key had packed for their little trip earlier that day. The showers of laugher the two had shared moments ago- pretending to read each other’s future by tracing the lines of their palms, sweetly smiling at promises of a forever relationship- disappeared with the mention of the two words. The past two years of ups and downs passed through the younger boy’s eyes: Dates, moving in together,… the first time they meet.
A sunny Autumn day not much different from the current one the lovers laid in now, fated Jonghyun and Key together. Jonghyun, a student of an exchange program at the time, had taken the day to relax from the everyday stresses of live and found himself leisurely strolling down the stoned roads of Taipei with absolutely nothing to do. Hands in pockets, the student zoned out the surrounding area letting his feet carry him wherever.
“Ugh I don’t know which to pick,” Jonghyun heard a distressed voice sigh. Huffing and puffing Key held a pair of underwear in each of his hands, the material dangling in front of his face as he focused all his energy on the oh-so crucial decision.
“I like the pink pair with the hearts.” Key jumped at the answer, embarrassed that a total stranger heard and answered a question about his undergarments. His cheeks reddened as he swiveled his body to face the commenting person. “T-t-thanks,” Key stumbled out, looking everywhere to avoid eye contact. Key gave a speedy bow before sprinting to the cash register to pay and leave.
Jonghyun chuckled, thinking of how cute the boy looked because of his embarrassment. Running to follow the boy Jonghyun screams “Would you like to go out for drinks now?” at the escaping body, who stops to reply a short yes in return. The rest is history.
But those times were in the past. 2 weeks after his confession, Key sulked on Jonghyun’s bed as he watched his lover pack his things , the passport, train ticket, and wallet sitting next to the younger one waiting to be used. Boxes began to while up as the room emptied, the personal touch of love removed to leave bare walls, seeming as if the love had never happened. “I‘m done,” Jonghyun called, throwing the last of his belongings in a bag. Key tilted his head up to look at Jonghyun, eyes pleading desperately for him to stay with him.
Outside Jonghyun stretched his arms around Key’s waist, pressing their cheeks together as they shared one last hug. Key stood still not moving to hug the other boy closer, the happy glow that once light inside his heart dimming to a darkness. Their joy stayed forgotten on the doorstep, wrapped in precious memories, when Jonghyun pulled away to climb inside the taxi. Key remembers everything about that day, what Jonghyun smelled like, what he wore, how he left.
Nothing last forever…..
-----------------------------
“Ahh Key- ah this is my best friend since high school Kim Jonghyun.” Jinki lightly patted the visitor’s thigh his excitement blinding him from the tense situation. Keeping the conversation up Jinki spoke anxiously about the many things the three could do during Jonghyun’s time there. Key couldn’t recall a time Jinki had ever been in a tempered mood, constantly up beat and excited.
Like a Autumn wind carried Jonghyun to Key the same wind ripped him away taking joy and happiness as his companions. Alone Key stayed for winter’s bitter months of cold, praying for his love’s return, nose pressed against the window’s glass. Each day, new and beautiful like freshly fallen snow, brought about a hope of seeing him. An empty hope freezing over his statued heart.
Spring passed as slow as winter, the temperature not rising in the slightest in Key’s mind. Key moved in his still hibernated mode, slipping his house key into the lock and twisting the metal to the right to hear the opening click. A shadow covered the middle of his back as a second person leaned over to take a closer at what the lonely home owner was searching for. Key screamed in shock, fleeing into the safety of his home. With his back pressed to the door- closed and locked- Key observed the boy on his doorstep, yelling and knocking repeatedly for entranced. The brunette gave in to the begs and let the stranger to introduce himself.
“Ni hao wo shi Jinki. I‘m from Seoul please help me adapt to your culture.” The man held out his hand for the sitting Key to shake.
“Don’t erase this.” Key said, jumping up from his seat with a stop, pointing to the markered message on the pearl white wall next to his bed. When Jinki fell asleep in the guest room, Key kneeled down sitting on his feet, his fingers tracing every line of each word on the wall.
“Autumn winds keep our growing love flying strong in the vast sky.”
Every night Key repeated the ritual of gliding the pads of his finger’s top against the rough surface, each bump and groove in the wall where the message was signed he committed to memory. Replaying the day Jonghyun left with every touch, tears washing over him.
But with Jinki’s goofy smile and contagious laugh, summer’s warmth melted Key’s frozen heart. Little summer games of tag and chasing butterflies helped Key to learn how to smile and laugh on his own, again, a blossom of joy budding inside from Jinki’s crazy antics.
Summer’s warmth plants the seeds for a flowering love.
---------------------------------
Once inside the house, Jonghyun refused Jinki do anything else for him, giving him hyung a break from playing tour guide. He knew where everything was, why it was like that and how it happened. This was his house, the place where he ate, slept, and talked with Key everyday all the time. Just like the house, Key used to be his.
Sneaking into Key’s room when both had fallen asleep was fairly easy. Jonghyun knew that Key slept through anything as long as the room stayed dark and that Jinki was like a dead man when unconscious. The door squeaked as Jonghyun tip toed inside Key’s room, the floorboards creaking when he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, lowering himself to the ground. It was still there, fading and barely visible, but there none the less. The mattress springs screeched, the sleeping Key turning to lay on this other side. Jonghyun watched the boy in bed for minutes before moving back to the wall to trace the engraved note.
“Autumn winds keep our growing love flying strong in the vast sky.” Jonghyun whispered, ghostly stroking the words as he mumbled them.
“Let‘s fly kites,” Key proposed on a fiercely windy day and after a hurried run to the store, the young couple found themselves in the grassy meadow adjacent to the near by park.
“This is stupid,” Key shouted over the current, jacket violently flowing around like an ill controlled puppet.
“Don‘t worry as long as you hold tight, the kites will soar strongly.”
Jonghyun had written the message that night so Key would never forget their love. Had the faint print began to erase from Key’s memory as well?
--------------------------------------------------
Sitting in front of the blazing fire under a black velvet of the night sky, Jinki and Jonghyun talked, a sleeping Key resting on Jinki’s bent knee thought to be fast asleep. The vigorous day had drained everyone’s energy mellowing the atmosphere to a quiet peace.
Keeping his eyes on the burning flames Jinki voiced the question he had wanted to ask all day, his joking tone changing to become serious.
“Did you come back to Taipei to find your lost love? “
Jonghyun followed Jinki’s posture answering what had been asked straight in the fire. “Yes…no.. I found it…. It doesn’t want me anymore.”
Key’s ears perched to catch the conversation Jinki started.
“Jong what was your lost love like?” Jinki sounded like a child again, asking his mother if Santa Claus was real or if the first day of school is really scary. The lover smiled at a distant thought replying “Too good for me.”
Key snickered, silently agreeing with the statement with a sleepy smile.
“Come on Jongie, tell me!” Jinki whined, playfully shoving the friend over. Jonghyun looked into the night sky, counting a half hundred stars before exhaling deeply.
“It‘s amazing how we met, spontaneous and by fate‘s chance. He had a character always nagging or complaining about something gone wrong. But….” Jonghyun paused a beat before finishing in a soft voice. “But each word brought me the greatest love, he brought me the greatest love and I planned to stay by his side forever. I still want to.”
“Then why are you leaving like this.”
The question was simple but the answer wasn’t.
“It‘s over Jinki he‘s moved on, our relationship just a forgotten memory of the past as he’s starting anew with some else.” while he starts his new with you.
Jinki wanted to ask more but Jonghyun’s face told him his friend couldn’t take anymore, his eyes had lost that sparkle, small tears beginning to drip to the ground as small sobs
Key finally knew Jonghyun’s feelings after two years but with the new information, he felt more confused then ever.
-------------------
The weekend came and went and just as soon as Jonghyun had arrived it was time for him to go.
“Do you really have to go Jong?” Jinki asked, his pout begging for the visitor to say no. “Stay longer please, you don’t have to go back so soon.” Jonghyun chuckled at his friend’s whines, constant throughout the whole ride to the train station- to where the three stood now- and paused to steal a sideways glance to the person he wanted to hear the begs to stay from.
Did he want him to stay too?
The stole cold poker face hinted none to the answer he wanted to hear. Dripping with apathy Key stood, unphased and uncaring of the decision made, filing his nails. Jonghyun opened his mouth to speak, the loud whistling of he approaching train drowning his words. Defeated he moved to say his last goodbyes, first turning to Jinki with praises of how great it was to see him again and how much fun he had together with him. Next the leaver ventured to the disinterested body fixing his nails, snaking his hand around the other’s back in an awkward one armed hug.
“Autumn winds keep our growing love flying strong in the vast sky,” he whispered softly for only two to hear, instantly ending the light hug after his message was delivered. Removing his arm to grab the luggage on the platform. Their time was up and again those two horrid words Key hated the most spilled from Jonghyun’s lips: “I‘m leaving.” He waved at his two hosts thanking them for taking such great care of him during his stay, finally walking down the train’s aisle to sit in front of a window seat. There he sat, his eyes never straying from the beauty that was once his, the departure he never wanted secured.
Key didn’t speak, he couldn’t. The tears of month’s pasted flooded back with Jonghyun’s words, jeopardizing the tough bravado he fronted in front of his heartbreaker. Again his eyes stared through the window but this time instead of waiting for his love’s frame to fill the box, Jonghyun’s body could be seen clear as day. This time his image was real, not one of the many hallucinations playing with his heart’s mind. This time Jonghyun was the one dieing from the wait. This time would be last time both waited.
The train’s wheels squeaked beginning their rotations, the engine groaning to life. As the train chugged gaining speed, Key found is legs doing the same, the brisk walk he held morphing to a rushed sprint as a broken voice choked out pleas. Being alone for so long caused Key to mistake companionship as love. Jinki was always just a friend, occupying Key’s heart from thinking about Jonghyun… from loving him.
The train halted at the running passenger, the conductor waving his arm for Key to board. Key took hold of the railing and looked back to see the shrunken outline that belonged to Jinki. Turning back now would only bring regret, no now it was Key’s turn to travel. To travel back to the place he missed the most. To travel back to Jonghyun, where his heart belonged.
The Autumn’s winds never stop blowing, always bringing back the happiness you thought was lost.
So i wrote this based on the music video Fireflies by a taiwanese singer named Ariel Lin. CHeck it out its a really beautiful song. Ok guys you know the drill!! Comments are love<3333 Enjoy and if you are confused with anything (like the flashbacks) ask me or watching the mv. it helps trust me!!