Utter Chaos in the Shinee Dorm
Title: Utter Chaos in the Shinee Dorm
Author The weirdos aka twinklespink and thinkingfood
Rating: G
Pairing/Focus: OT5
Summary: Shinee madness
Muffled sounds of "Chicken" and "Monsters are going to eat me" emitted from the closet of in the 2min room one lazy afternoon. The Shinning leader Onew retreating to the small space to hid from the madness of the house.
Just when he think it’s safe, Onew stops his wailing, kicking down the door and comes out in his briefs holding a chicken leg in hand," There's a SUPERMAN on my tummy!!" Looking up he spots two bodies making out on the bed. “UHHHWAGGGH!!! Disgustinggggg! Chicky, I’ll protect you from those crap suckers!!" Halting their little love feast, 2min looked up to see their leader scamper away.
Onew cradles his chicken like a baby and covers its eyes from the 2min x rated bed scene running away to the sanctuary of his room. But before he makes it there the back of his head ends up being hit with a pillow (thrown by Minho of course) because Jinki screams "Go get a room you horn dogs". Sadly Jinki trips and falls after being hit by the pillow and his chicken drops to the ground.
He crawled up the his bed, wrapping the chicken tight into his palm. Warm tears ran down his face, the piece of chicken was ripped from its skin. He took a box from under his bed, stealing glances from the living room to make sure the imbeciles weren't planning any attack on the poor patient. He pulled a hello kitty band-aid from Key's pink First aid kit and wrapped it around the skin, hoping it would secure the damage. “You only have one life to live, I’m so sorry it had to end this way. . .wait, YOU'RE ALIVE!!"
In a moment of pure joy and utter insanity, Onew's teeth ripped through the greasy goodness of the chicken leg a small dribble of drool trailing down his chin as he licked his fingers blissfully. Onew, now seeing that his once tasteful companion was now only one lone bone in his hands, began to shed big wet tears. "NOOOOO!!" Onew wept, teardrops falling into his palms, raining on the bone
The screams and yelps trailed through the dorm and erupted the madness of the 'nut scratcher off-er' Key slammed his hand on the coffee table and let out a groan," What is he doing now? Raping the chicken, sheezus, Jonghyun go in there before I do!" He obeyed, only to be kicked off the couch, landing on the wrong spot. Jonghyun pouted and ran his fingers through his bangs, leaving Key on the couch watching a boring drama.
"Yahhh Jinki!" Jonghyun busted through the bedroom door to find his hyung hidden in darkness, the faint silhouette of Jinki cuddling a chicken bone present from the hallway's lighting. Trudging over the to his sadist leader, Jonghyun plopped himself on the edge of the occupied bed, stroking Jinki's hairs gently.
"What's wrong hyung," Jonghyun asked, slipping a piece of Jinki's hair behind his ear.
"I-I-I'm all out of chicken." Jinki sobs soaked Jonghyun’s jeans as he wept into the shorter boy's lap.
"There there", calmed Jonghyun "Everything will be alright."
"N-n-no it won't", Jinki whimpered. Heavier tears flooded from his eyes landing on the shorter boy‘s bent knee.
"I have an idea that might cheer you up." A wicked smirk coated Jonghyun's face, a sinister plan unwrapping in his mind.
"Here is Minho's credit card and the number to your favorite chicken place. Order as much chicken as you like, I'm sure Minho-ah won't care."
With that, Jonghyun rose from his place on the bed and exited the room.
Hahaha that will show you Minho, told you it would have been better for everyone if you shared your umbrella with me
Kibum stopped in front of the smirking leader, when he looked up it disappeared. He gnarled and spit into his hand,” Why didn’t you eat rice with that chicken? Now you are going to be hungry all day!” Onew shrugged and played with his fingers,” I-I am not sure, maybe because the rice cooker is stored away somewhere. “ Kibum took the ladle out of his back pocket and swung it to the doorway,” YES! That is because that rice cooker is a piece of doggy do do and I plan to give it to my worst enemy!” Jonghyun nudged him causing friction that Key did not like,” Who’s your enemy, hunny?” He tugged Jonghyun’s waist band until to had a clear view and stuck the kitchen utensil all the way down,” You; if you don’t get your monkey away from me, REPTAR.”
"oh is that what your calling my buddy downstairs now?" Jonghyun smirked, wrapping his arms around the aggressive diva. "Don't even try Jjong." Key's warning went unheard as Jonghyun pulled the younger boy closer to his chest. A low purr rose my Key's lips as Jonghyun sucked his collar bone. "Jinki d-don't you have chicken to buy." Reminding of his mission the chicken lover fled the dorm in search of the perfect box of fried chicken that he could call his own. “Well since we have the dorm to ourselves what do you want to do?”
"Buddy downstairs? You just needed an excuse to get him out, huh?" Kibum pushed him away and sunk into the couch. Even though they have been fighting for a good week over something so trivial they didn't even remember, it was something that Key took to offence. Jonghyun watched as the milky hand cupped one side of his cheek and let out a small huff. The bruised lips were separated by a sweet red tongue and Jonghyun couldn't help but sigh at the beautiful scene. He slid next to him and managed to let the tips of his fingers run around his wrist before it was slapped away," Don't touch me."
Hours pass and the Shinee gang gathers together at their small table for dinner each with grumbling stomachs await the precious food Key has prepared but wait when the group arrives to their seats the table is bare, empty of bowls of rice and plates of delicious things to eat. Taemin looked close to tears as his eyes sweep across the desolate kitchen, his stomach gaining a mind of it’s own ready to jump out and attack the first innocent bystander it sees. Minho’s mumblings of how neglectful Key was of his “children” wasn’t things better either, Onew was practically going crazy over the lack of food present. His left twitching slightly as he screamed "Yo, imma bust the snot outta you nibblers, tell me where the food is now foos!" Seeing this side of Jinki’s onew condition was so common to the Shinee members they were no longer phased by it, and chose to just ignore the hysteric yells of their delirious leader.
Distant howls and shrieks bounced off the hallways leading to the dorm, the sounds amplifying as Key made his way back. Opening the door to the kitchen Key stared at the chaotic scene playing out in front of him. Taemin and Onew were in a fierce screaming match which looked like it would become physical and fast. The diva almost fainted, the image of Minho cooking turning his skin a pasty off white color. In the misted of it all Jonghyun strived to keep some kind of order in place, his own cries muted by the others, distress written all over his face. Key watched the other’s muted struggle for decency, a small smile gracing his lips as he saw the animated actions of Jonghyun’s frantic waving arms.
Deciding that enough was enough Key stepped into what looked more like a bomb explosion then a kitchen.
“I‘m back.” Key called freezing all movements of the other four, silence draping over the room.
Recovering from the relief of Key‘s return, Jonghyun found the voice to ask, “Where have you been?” Shrugging Key answered “Mailbox.” shaking the bundle of letters and what not in his hand.
Mail… that’s what started this fight. The events of last week replayed in Jonghyun’s head like a bad movie Minho liked to watch when no one was around.
“Where is it!” Flying pieces of fan letters and schedule reminders soared through the air left and right. It had to be here, it must have arrived today was the day. Turning his head he heard the stupid question of what he was searching for. How dumb were these boys?
“My Cosmo magazine for this month,” Key stated mater-of-factly over his shoulder, not wanting to break his search for the desired magazine.
“Cosmo?” Jonghyun thought. “No it can‘t be… shit.” The singer skin turned a ghostly pale, heart beating like a ragging express subway. Like a scared puppy with its tail between its legs, Jonghyun approached the scavenging diva, each step causing his heart to pump even harder. Taking a deep breath Jonghyun stuttered “I-I-I kno-ow w-w-where yo-o-ur…” He couldn’t do it, how could he admit to Key he used his precious magazine to as a hood for the rain, the pictures wrinkled and smudged by raindrops. Jonghyun moved to exit the room before Key could register what he said but it was too late, the brunette body ceased its movement, Key giving all of Jonghyun his focus.
“You know where my what is Jonghyun.” He could feel Key’s heated stare pierce through his back like a samurai’s sword. “Y-y-your mag-magazine.” The room felt like a sauna, an imaginary spotlight shinning directly on the petrified doggie.
“Where is it” Key barked, practically jumping the shorter boy for the answer. Jonghyun visible cringed at Key’s tightened grip around his shoulders, the ground looking so much more appealing then Key’s fixed gaze. His legs trembled in fear as he watch Key stalk over to the place he pointed to with his finger.
“Kim Jonghyun.” Jonghyun knew that tone, the low menacing voice telling him all hell was about to break lose. And it did.
“That magazine had a limited edition spring line up sneak preview that only honored gold member VIPs were allowed to view! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for it!” Key huffed out an aggravated sigh, settling down on the couch with a hearable thud, arms crossing in frustration. A curt hand blocked the comfort Jonghyun wanted to give Key, a turned face refusing to look at the puppy’s pleading eyes.
“Just go away, I don’t want to look at you right now.” Key’s voice was barely a whisper, each word heavy with emotion, slicing Jonghyun’s heart to pieces.
Jumping up from the table dashed to his room grabbing the forgotten present from his dresser. Hunching over in front of his lover, Jonghyun offered the rushingly dressed in old newspapers “I‘m sorry” gift, praying the fight would end for good.
Key carefully pealed back the layers of paper , tears swelling in his eyes as he read over the title. It was the magazine, fresh and new with the signature of his favorite designer on the front as well as a detailed message as to how he was stalked by a certain brown haired singer for his autograph.
‘He must really love you,’ the last line read and Key couldn’t agree more.
Wow what started off as a random conversation with my twinklespink turned into this long cracky fic. Hope this made you smile and laugh. Comment please!!!
Author The weirdos aka twinklespink and thinkingfood
Rating: G
Pairing/Focus: OT5
Summary: Shinee madness
Muffled sounds of "Chicken" and "Monsters are going to eat me" emitted from the closet of in the 2min room one lazy afternoon. The Shinning leader Onew retreating to the small space to hid from the madness of the house.
Just when he think it’s safe, Onew stops his wailing, kicking down the door and comes out in his briefs holding a chicken leg in hand," There's a SUPERMAN on my tummy!!" Looking up he spots two bodies making out on the bed. “UHHHWAGGGH!!! Disgustinggggg! Chicky, I’ll protect you from those crap suckers!!" Halting their little love feast, 2min looked up to see their leader scamper away.
Onew cradles his chicken like a baby and covers its eyes from the 2min x rated bed scene running away to the sanctuary of his room. But before he makes it there the back of his head ends up being hit with a pillow (thrown by Minho of course) because Jinki screams "Go get a room you horn dogs". Sadly Jinki trips and falls after being hit by the pillow and his chicken drops to the ground.
He crawled up the his bed, wrapping the chicken tight into his palm. Warm tears ran down his face, the piece of chicken was ripped from its skin. He took a box from under his bed, stealing glances from the living room to make sure the imbeciles weren't planning any attack on the poor patient. He pulled a hello kitty band-aid from Key's pink First aid kit and wrapped it around the skin, hoping it would secure the damage. “You only have one life to live, I’m so sorry it had to end this way. . .wait, YOU'RE ALIVE!!"
In a moment of pure joy and utter insanity, Onew's teeth ripped through the greasy goodness of the chicken leg a small dribble of drool trailing down his chin as he licked his fingers blissfully. Onew, now seeing that his once tasteful companion was now only one lone bone in his hands, began to shed big wet tears. "NOOOOO!!" Onew wept, teardrops falling into his palms, raining on the bone
The screams and yelps trailed through the dorm and erupted the madness of the 'nut scratcher off-er' Key slammed his hand on the coffee table and let out a groan," What is he doing now? Raping the chicken, sheezus, Jonghyun go in there before I do!" He obeyed, only to be kicked off the couch, landing on the wrong spot. Jonghyun pouted and ran his fingers through his bangs, leaving Key on the couch watching a boring drama.
"Yahhh Jinki!" Jonghyun busted through the bedroom door to find his hyung hidden in darkness, the faint silhouette of Jinki cuddling a chicken bone present from the hallway's lighting. Trudging over the to his sadist leader, Jonghyun plopped himself on the edge of the occupied bed, stroking Jinki's hairs gently.
"What's wrong hyung," Jonghyun asked, slipping a piece of Jinki's hair behind his ear.
"I-I-I'm all out of chicken." Jinki sobs soaked Jonghyun’s jeans as he wept into the shorter boy's lap.
"There there", calmed Jonghyun "Everything will be alright."
"N-n-no it won't", Jinki whimpered. Heavier tears flooded from his eyes landing on the shorter boy‘s bent knee.
"I have an idea that might cheer you up." A wicked smirk coated Jonghyun's face, a sinister plan unwrapping in his mind.
"Here is Minho's credit card and the number to your favorite chicken place. Order as much chicken as you like, I'm sure Minho-ah won't care."
With that, Jonghyun rose from his place on the bed and exited the room.
Hahaha that will show you Minho, told you it would have been better for everyone if you shared your umbrella with me
Kibum stopped in front of the smirking leader, when he looked up it disappeared. He gnarled and spit into his hand,” Why didn’t you eat rice with that chicken? Now you are going to be hungry all day!” Onew shrugged and played with his fingers,” I-I am not sure, maybe because the rice cooker is stored away somewhere. “ Kibum took the ladle out of his back pocket and swung it to the doorway,” YES! That is because that rice cooker is a piece of doggy do do and I plan to give it to my worst enemy!” Jonghyun nudged him causing friction that Key did not like,” Who’s your enemy, hunny?” He tugged Jonghyun’s waist band until to had a clear view and stuck the kitchen utensil all the way down,” You; if you don’t get your monkey away from me, REPTAR.”
"oh is that what your calling my buddy downstairs now?" Jonghyun smirked, wrapping his arms around the aggressive diva. "Don't even try Jjong." Key's warning went unheard as Jonghyun pulled the younger boy closer to his chest. A low purr rose my Key's lips as Jonghyun sucked his collar bone. "Jinki d-don't you have chicken to buy." Reminding of his mission the chicken lover fled the dorm in search of the perfect box of fried chicken that he could call his own. “Well since we have the dorm to ourselves what do you want to do?”
"Buddy downstairs? You just needed an excuse to get him out, huh?" Kibum pushed him away and sunk into the couch. Even though they have been fighting for a good week over something so trivial they didn't even remember, it was something that Key took to offence. Jonghyun watched as the milky hand cupped one side of his cheek and let out a small huff. The bruised lips were separated by a sweet red tongue and Jonghyun couldn't help but sigh at the beautiful scene. He slid next to him and managed to let the tips of his fingers run around his wrist before it was slapped away," Don't touch me."
Hours pass and the Shinee gang gathers together at their small table for dinner each with grumbling stomachs await the precious food Key has prepared but wait when the group arrives to their seats the table is bare, empty of bowls of rice and plates of delicious things to eat. Taemin looked close to tears as his eyes sweep across the desolate kitchen, his stomach gaining a mind of it’s own ready to jump out and attack the first innocent bystander it sees. Minho’s mumblings of how neglectful Key was of his “children” wasn’t things better either, Onew was practically going crazy over the lack of food present. His left twitching slightly as he screamed "Yo, imma bust the snot outta you nibblers, tell me where the food is now foos!" Seeing this side of Jinki’s onew condition was so common to the Shinee members they were no longer phased by it, and chose to just ignore the hysteric yells of their delirious leader.
Distant howls and shrieks bounced off the hallways leading to the dorm, the sounds amplifying as Key made his way back. Opening the door to the kitchen Key stared at the chaotic scene playing out in front of him. Taemin and Onew were in a fierce screaming match which looked like it would become physical and fast. The diva almost fainted, the image of Minho cooking turning his skin a pasty off white color. In the misted of it all Jonghyun strived to keep some kind of order in place, his own cries muted by the others, distress written all over his face. Key watched the other’s muted struggle for decency, a small smile gracing his lips as he saw the animated actions of Jonghyun’s frantic waving arms.
Deciding that enough was enough Key stepped into what looked more like a bomb explosion then a kitchen.
“I‘m back.” Key called freezing all movements of the other four, silence draping over the room.
Recovering from the relief of Key‘s return, Jonghyun found the voice to ask, “Where have you been?” Shrugging Key answered “Mailbox.” shaking the bundle of letters and what not in his hand.
Mail… that’s what started this fight. The events of last week replayed in Jonghyun’s head like a bad movie Minho liked to watch when no one was around.
“Where is it!” Flying pieces of fan letters and schedule reminders soared through the air left and right. It had to be here, it must have arrived today was the day. Turning his head he heard the stupid question of what he was searching for. How dumb were these boys?
“My Cosmo magazine for this month,” Key stated mater-of-factly over his shoulder, not wanting to break his search for the desired magazine.
“Cosmo?” Jonghyun thought. “No it can‘t be… shit.” The singer skin turned a ghostly pale, heart beating like a ragging express subway. Like a scared puppy with its tail between its legs, Jonghyun approached the scavenging diva, each step causing his heart to pump even harder. Taking a deep breath Jonghyun stuttered “I-I-I kno-ow w-w-where yo-o-ur…” He couldn’t do it, how could he admit to Key he used his precious magazine to as a hood for the rain, the pictures wrinkled and smudged by raindrops. Jonghyun moved to exit the room before Key could register what he said but it was too late, the brunette body ceased its movement, Key giving all of Jonghyun his focus.
“You know where my what is Jonghyun.” He could feel Key’s heated stare pierce through his back like a samurai’s sword. “Y-y-your mag-magazine.” The room felt like a sauna, an imaginary spotlight shinning directly on the petrified doggie.
“Where is it” Key barked, practically jumping the shorter boy for the answer. Jonghyun visible cringed at Key’s tightened grip around his shoulders, the ground looking so much more appealing then Key’s fixed gaze. His legs trembled in fear as he watch Key stalk over to the place he pointed to with his finger.
“Kim Jonghyun.” Jonghyun knew that tone, the low menacing voice telling him all hell was about to break lose. And it did.
“That magazine had a limited edition spring line up sneak preview that only honored gold member VIPs were allowed to view! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for it!” Key huffed out an aggravated sigh, settling down on the couch with a hearable thud, arms crossing in frustration. A curt hand blocked the comfort Jonghyun wanted to give Key, a turned face refusing to look at the puppy’s pleading eyes.
“Just go away, I don’t want to look at you right now.” Key’s voice was barely a whisper, each word heavy with emotion, slicing Jonghyun’s heart to pieces.
Jumping up from the table dashed to his room grabbing the forgotten present from his dresser. Hunching over in front of his lover, Jonghyun offered the rushingly dressed in old newspapers “I‘m sorry” gift, praying the fight would end for good.
Key carefully pealed back the layers of paper , tears swelling in his eyes as he read over the title. It was the magazine, fresh and new with the signature of his favorite designer on the front as well as a detailed message as to how he was stalked by a certain brown haired singer for his autograph.
‘He must really love you,’ the last line read and Key couldn’t agree more.
Wow what started off as a random conversation with my twinklespink turned into this long cracky fic. Hope this made you smile and laugh. Comment please!!!