hello
I want anyone and everyone who reads this to post in here something they'd LIKE to do with me SOMEDAY. Then post this in your journal to find out what I want to do with you.
so, yeah. i haven't been on here in a while. I did have an epiphany of sorts though, the other night while raving to no one but my imaginary therapist. I said fuck it. fuck it all. fuck trying to figure things out. fuck trying to stick to this ridiculously strict and, despite my best efforts, self-contradictory moral code i have invented for myself so i can feel like im a better human being than everyone else. fuck that. fuck that a lot. and fuck trying to protect everyone. and fuck trying to be a paladin/hero/saint. i know, the word saint hardly comes to mind when you think of me, but i was trying to be a saint in my own way. but no more. know why? because i am no better or worse than anyone else. people can take care of themselves. all i want now, is to exercise my right to be a filthy hyporcitical self-serving human being, like everyone else. the three big no-no's are rape, murder, and robbery. short of that....fuck it. thinking and secdond guessing have gotten me nowhere. it is time to admit that i am not as smart as i thought i was. i can not figure out everything. and spending a month agonizing over a decision does not give you a better chance of doing the right thing. so, fuck it. from now on, short of the three big no-no's, i'm doing what i feel like, and i'm going to stop feeling so god-damn guilty about everything. becuase, let's face it, i am just a human being. and human beings really aren't all that great.
i also want jacob to get the dsl hooked up. this driving twenty minutes to get online is starting to get old.
so, yeah. i haven't been on here in a while. I did have an epiphany of sorts though, the other night while raving to no one but my imaginary therapist. I said fuck it. fuck it all. fuck trying to figure things out. fuck trying to stick to this ridiculously strict and, despite my best efforts, self-contradictory moral code i have invented for myself so i can feel like im a better human being than everyone else. fuck that. fuck that a lot. and fuck trying to protect everyone. and fuck trying to be a paladin/hero/saint. i know, the word saint hardly comes to mind when you think of me, but i was trying to be a saint in my own way. but no more. know why? because i am no better or worse than anyone else. people can take care of themselves. all i want now, is to exercise my right to be a filthy hyporcitical self-serving human being, like everyone else. the three big no-no's are rape, murder, and robbery. short of that....fuck it. thinking and secdond guessing have gotten me nowhere. it is time to admit that i am not as smart as i thought i was. i can not figure out everything. and spending a month agonizing over a decision does not give you a better chance of doing the right thing. so, fuck it. from now on, short of the three big no-no's, i'm doing what i feel like, and i'm going to stop feeling so god-damn guilty about everything. becuase, let's face it, i am just a human being. and human beings really aren't all that great.
i also want jacob to get the dsl hooked up. this driving twenty minutes to get online is starting to get old.