maybe no one ever sees.
today my brother and i went to visit Her after school. and it was an obligatation, a task, a dreaded almost punishing event. i never ever got along with her in the first place, and now that we had to go into a much depressing place to visit was even more tasking for me. but there was something different about Her today that is overwhelming me with feeling. she was smaller than the week before, her skin not as soft, and she was so quiet. and she seemed to just want to be alone, although she was not rude to us, she was very kind infact. it was as if she could have heard me in the elevator on the way up to Her floor when i said, "damnit, this sucks." Her eyes were wet and glazed over and she stared at nothing when she talked as little as she did. and she seemed so frail and so breakable. and i thought about how all these people have been running around Her for the past year trying to make Her better. and how so many people care about her despite all the truely negative qualities that she has. and how she really loves me, even after all these years that i hindered my own quiet disliking for her. she looked so young and small when she looked up at me to kiss goodbye. she said she loved me just like she always does. but this time i wanted to punch the wall.
for all the times i was so selfish. and is that how we will all end up? and what is the point. and how could i have been so blind to see that she and i are so alike. all this time i couldn't stand her when really she and i are just so close to being the very same. and how last fall i was lying in a hospital bed and i could have been her right in that moment. and everyone ran around me for three months sorting all my issues into piles. and no here i am just counting the days as they go by. and she lies there each day just tallying the numbers. i have this tingle. this uncomfortable feeling that we are one soul just years apart. i feel like she carries a weight so heavy on her whithering little body. she always has. i want to be there and hold her hand but i fear i am falling along beside her.
tyler, i love my book. it will be perfect for vacation, thank you so much. and mose, my 7'' is the best, it's waiting for me in my room at the moment. Hope get better right now. i demand it.
for all the times i was so selfish. and is that how we will all end up? and what is the point. and how could i have been so blind to see that she and i are so alike. all this time i couldn't stand her when really she and i are just so close to being the very same. and how last fall i was lying in a hospital bed and i could have been her right in that moment. and everyone ran around me for three months sorting all my issues into piles. and no here i am just counting the days as they go by. and she lies there each day just tallying the numbers. i have this tingle. this uncomfortable feeling that we are one soul just years apart. i feel like she carries a weight so heavy on her whithering little body. she always has. i want to be there and hold her hand but i fear i am falling along beside her.
tyler, i love my book. it will be perfect for vacation, thank you so much. and mose, my 7'' is the best, it's waiting for me in my room at the moment. Hope get better right now. i demand it.