entry 002 - hp
Title: Christmas Talk
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Sirius Black, Harry Potter.
Rating: T
Genre: Angst
Spoilers: Book Five
Summary: Harry has a talk with the one person that's there for him.
Disclaimer: All characters and plotlines belong to JKR and WB. I don't earn a profit from posting this.
Hope you enjoy.
As fifteen-year-old Harry Potter layed on his bed, in the bedroom that his god-father ever so graciously gave him, his thoughts swirled around what had happened during the first few days before holidays. He was possessed, and he could've killed someone so close to him. What would happen if he was possessed once more. Would he hurt more people close to him. Would he hurt Sirius.
His thoughts then, ever so suddenly, turned to his god-father, and for the first time in days, Harry didn't look sad, or angered with himself. Sure, he hadn't smiled, but it was still something. Right? He could hear his god-father's happy singing from downstairs, and was glad that someone who deserved to have a good time was happy. Even if Harry himself, truely wasn't happy. But his god-father was happy, and that's all that really mattered.
Hearing something his god-father said, the young man could instantly tell that Sirius was upstairs now, probably coming to try and get Harry down. But all Harry wanted to do was be alone, and not endanger anyone else that he truely cared about. Because that's what Voldemort wanted. And Harry knew that in his heart. So why was he doing this? Was he trying to push the people he loved away? Sighing, Harry ran his hand through his hair, finally realizing how confusing his situation was.
What situation?
Harry sighed once more. Gawd, how he needed someone to talk to. He needed to talk to Sirius. But he wanted to be alone.
No you don't.
Okay, so Harry didn't want to be alone. He wanted to talk to his god-father. But Harry knew if he even brought up the subject, his god-father's happy mood would be dimmed. And Harry didn't want to see Sirius sad again. But he needed to talk to somebody.
Almost as if reading his mind, the door opened and none-other than his god-father walked in, and layed down next to Harry, slinging an arm around his shoulders.
"What cha doing Padlet?" Sirius asked, smiling at the nickname Harry declared for himself, saying he wanted to have some way of being Padfoot AND Prongs.
"Thinking really." Harry replied, trying not to let on to anything more. But knowing that his god-father knew him well, he knew that his god-father knew something was going on.
"What's wrong Prongslet?" Sirius asked, going back to his god-son's old nickname, which he kind of liked better.
"Nothing." Harry lied quickly. SIrius raised an eyebrow, knowing that his god-son was lying. He was never really good at it, the god-father thought, but somedays, that could be good.
"Worried about what happened?" Sirius asked, squeezing his god-son's shoulder. Sirius knew that Harry had believed he was one to blame for Arthur's bite, because of that stupid bloody dream. And somehow, Sirius had had to find a way to tell his god-son that it was okay, that no one would blame him, and that everybody, especially Sirius, knew that Harry would never hurt anyone on purpose. He needed to let Harry know.
"Yeah, I guess." Harry sighed, somewhat in a sullen mood. He never liked opening up towards people, but for some reason, his god-father made him do so. But he still couldn't help but think that everyone was mad at him, and blamed him for Arthur being bitten. Did Sirius blame him? Did Sirius never want to talk to him again?
"Do you blame me?" Harry asked suddenly, looking at Sirius with a scared expression on his face, not wanting to hear the answer. All the while, Sirius stared at Harry in shock.
"Harry, of course not!! I would never dream about blaming you!" Sirius replied, a little loudly, almost to get his point out. He stared at his god-son with a look of worry etched on his face. Oh, how he hated it when Harry blamed himself for something that was NOT his fault.
"Harry, no matter what, everybody, especially me, knows that you'd never hurt anyone on purpose. And none of us blame you." Sirius replied, watching Harry's expression turned somewhat less worried. He saw that his god-son was still looking down.
"Are you sure you don't hate me?" Harry asked, barely audible. The question, of course had shocked Sirius more than the question he was asked before. He could never imagine hating his own god-son. He could never imagine not even knowing his own god-son.
"Harry," Sirius whispered - "I don't... I could never... would never, hate you.!" he replied bringing his god-son around for a full throtle hug. Harry accepted the hug, soon beginning to cry openly now.
"I know.. it's just... Dursleys." Harry finally mumbled into Sirius' sleeve.
"Harry, the Dursley's are just... assholes. Don't even bother thinking about them." Sirius replied, rubbing his god-son's back. He hated the Dursley's for making Harry believe that he was hated so bloody much.
"Siri..." Harry began.
"Yea Harry?" Sirius asked looking at his god-son in confusion. Harry looked down. How would his father feel if he said that to his god-father. Would he become jealous? How would Sirius feel?
Suddenly, before he could even fathom to decide he heard a small little voice in his ear.
Harry, go on ahead. Sirius would be proud, and I sure as hell am proud that Sirius is like a father-figure to you. A male voice said, allowing Harry instantly to know that it was his father.
Don't worry Harry, we're proud you think of Sirius that way. His mother's voice replied. He knew instantly that his parent's were smiling. Looking back at his god-father, he noticed that his eyebrow was arched, and had a worried, but confused look on his face.
Sighing, Harry began to slowly let it out.
"Siri,"
"Harry?" Sirius replied, still confused. Harry looked at Sirius, and noticed, that behind his god-father, his parents stood, smiling, and his father, eagerly nodded his head.
"I love you." Harry finally said, smiling. Sirius stared at Harry in shock. If anything he surely hadn't expected his god-son to say something like that. But as he wondered what James thought, and if Harry though him as a fatherly figure, he smiled nonetheless. It still felt wierd though. Good wierd, nonetheless.
And he knew, as he felt an intense wind, and two hands touch his shoulders, that James and Lily were okay with everything. And at that moment, he also knew, that feelings, were such a big part of life.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Sirius Black, Harry Potter.
Rating: T
Genre: Angst
Spoilers: Book Five
Summary: Harry has a talk with the one person that's there for him.
Disclaimer: All characters and plotlines belong to JKR and WB. I don't earn a profit from posting this.
Hope you enjoy.
As fifteen-year-old Harry Potter layed on his bed, in the bedroom that his god-father ever so graciously gave him, his thoughts swirled around what had happened during the first few days before holidays. He was possessed, and he could've killed someone so close to him. What would happen if he was possessed once more. Would he hurt more people close to him. Would he hurt Sirius.
His thoughts then, ever so suddenly, turned to his god-father, and for the first time in days, Harry didn't look sad, or angered with himself. Sure, he hadn't smiled, but it was still something. Right? He could hear his god-father's happy singing from downstairs, and was glad that someone who deserved to have a good time was happy. Even if Harry himself, truely wasn't happy. But his god-father was happy, and that's all that really mattered.
Hearing something his god-father said, the young man could instantly tell that Sirius was upstairs now, probably coming to try and get Harry down. But all Harry wanted to do was be alone, and not endanger anyone else that he truely cared about. Because that's what Voldemort wanted. And Harry knew that in his heart. So why was he doing this? Was he trying to push the people he loved away? Sighing, Harry ran his hand through his hair, finally realizing how confusing his situation was.
What situation?
Harry sighed once more. Gawd, how he needed someone to talk to. He needed to talk to Sirius. But he wanted to be alone.
No you don't.
Okay, so Harry didn't want to be alone. He wanted to talk to his god-father. But Harry knew if he even brought up the subject, his god-father's happy mood would be dimmed. And Harry didn't want to see Sirius sad again. But he needed to talk to somebody.
Almost as if reading his mind, the door opened and none-other than his god-father walked in, and layed down next to Harry, slinging an arm around his shoulders.
"What cha doing Padlet?" Sirius asked, smiling at the nickname Harry declared for himself, saying he wanted to have some way of being Padfoot AND Prongs.
"Thinking really." Harry replied, trying not to let on to anything more. But knowing that his god-father knew him well, he knew that his god-father knew something was going on.
"What's wrong Prongslet?" Sirius asked, going back to his god-son's old nickname, which he kind of liked better.
"Nothing." Harry lied quickly. SIrius raised an eyebrow, knowing that his god-son was lying. He was never really good at it, the god-father thought, but somedays, that could be good.
"Worried about what happened?" Sirius asked, squeezing his god-son's shoulder. Sirius knew that Harry had believed he was one to blame for Arthur's bite, because of that stupid bloody dream. And somehow, Sirius had had to find a way to tell his god-son that it was okay, that no one would blame him, and that everybody, especially Sirius, knew that Harry would never hurt anyone on purpose. He needed to let Harry know.
"Yeah, I guess." Harry sighed, somewhat in a sullen mood. He never liked opening up towards people, but for some reason, his god-father made him do so. But he still couldn't help but think that everyone was mad at him, and blamed him for Arthur being bitten. Did Sirius blame him? Did Sirius never want to talk to him again?
"Do you blame me?" Harry asked suddenly, looking at Sirius with a scared expression on his face, not wanting to hear the answer. All the while, Sirius stared at Harry in shock.
"Harry, of course not!! I would never dream about blaming you!" Sirius replied, a little loudly, almost to get his point out. He stared at his god-son with a look of worry etched on his face. Oh, how he hated it when Harry blamed himself for something that was NOT his fault.
"Harry, no matter what, everybody, especially me, knows that you'd never hurt anyone on purpose. And none of us blame you." Sirius replied, watching Harry's expression turned somewhat less worried. He saw that his god-son was still looking down.
"Are you sure you don't hate me?" Harry asked, barely audible. The question, of course had shocked Sirius more than the question he was asked before. He could never imagine hating his own god-son. He could never imagine not even knowing his own god-son.
"Harry," Sirius whispered - "I don't... I could never... would never, hate you.!" he replied bringing his god-son around for a full throtle hug. Harry accepted the hug, soon beginning to cry openly now.
"I know.. it's just... Dursleys." Harry finally mumbled into Sirius' sleeve.
"Harry, the Dursley's are just... assholes. Don't even bother thinking about them." Sirius replied, rubbing his god-son's back. He hated the Dursley's for making Harry believe that he was hated so bloody much.
"Siri..." Harry began.
"Yea Harry?" Sirius asked looking at his god-son in confusion. Harry looked down. How would his father feel if he said that to his god-father. Would he become jealous? How would Sirius feel?
Suddenly, before he could even fathom to decide he heard a small little voice in his ear.
Harry, go on ahead. Sirius would be proud, and I sure as hell am proud that Sirius is like a father-figure to you. A male voice said, allowing Harry instantly to know that it was his father.
Don't worry Harry, we're proud you think of Sirius that way. His mother's voice replied. He knew instantly that his parent's were smiling. Looking back at his god-father, he noticed that his eyebrow was arched, and had a worried, but confused look on his face.
Sighing, Harry began to slowly let it out.
"Siri,"
"Harry?" Sirius replied, still confused. Harry looked at Sirius, and noticed, that behind his god-father, his parents stood, smiling, and his father, eagerly nodded his head.
"I love you." Harry finally said, smiling. Sirius stared at Harry in shock. If anything he surely hadn't expected his god-son to say something like that. But as he wondered what James thought, and if Harry though him as a fatherly figure, he smiled nonetheless. It still felt wierd though. Good wierd, nonetheless.
And he knew, as he felt an intense wind, and two hands touch his shoulders, that James and Lily were okay with everything. And at that moment, he also knew, that feelings, were such a big part of life.