FTR
Beautiful day today, if a bit chilly for my taste for September; I remembered what I was doing 7 yrs ago, as did many of us.
I had mastitis, too...Not a great day then. :)
Took a walk today, otherwise rested - Took pics...did laundry...made a to-do list...talked to Mom.
Felt very close to going under several times - and the scariest thing was that I was RECOGNIZING it, it wasn't blindsiding me...and I still could barely do anything about it. Too overwhelming, too strong/intense...too scary.
I realized that going to Newport without my folks is really upsetting me- the vacation has always been this time of year, since B was born. Evevry year (save maybe one), we've gone to my Mom & Pop's timeshare to spend 3 or 4 days with them - out of the 7 that they spend there. Last year was tough, with Pop fully in the grip of Alzheimer's, but still fairly okay as long as he could see/find my Mom.
This year - Mom planned on us all going for the whole week, because there's no way at 76 that she can really handle him at home, much less on vacation. So, E & I were going to help out. However, she's decided that things have just gotten too bad too fast, and she can't do it. I agree that he probably wouldn't take it well (the vacation, travel, new (to his current state of mind) place, etc...but she sure deserves a break. Mom is looking at both in-home care, either 24/7 or just overnight, every night, and a few hours aside, 3 days a week; and nursing homes. The in-home care looks to be less expensive, and Mom would feel better about it, she thinks - and if it didn't work out, the Nursing home search would've been continuing, so no time really wasted there.
That said, even if she did get someone for 24/7, she wouldn't leave him FOR a week, IN just a week.
I'm really apprehensive about going to the Timeshare without them - it's just not how we do it, it's a FAMILY vacation. Don't misunderstand - I love spending alone time with my husband & daughter, it's one of my favorite things.If this were an "On Purpose" thing, a deliberate decision, then I'd be fine with it, even excited and full of anticipation. Being there without them this year will be, instead, because something, or somethings, have gone wrong....or if not Wrong, definately not right.
I don't even know which bedroom we'll stay in. Staying in our - OUR - bedroom would, I think, feel scary. It's in the lock-out, with it's own bathroom, but separate from the actual living space & master bedroom.
Staying in the Master bedroom would be weird...and sad...I'm just so frazzled and I just do NOT know how to handle it.
Any of it.
I know that my husband loves me. He wants and tries to help - and when I can get ahold of myself, those facts are a BIG help.
YAWN...time for BED. 3:30am bedtime this morning + 7:30am wakeup today + 11:30pm bedtime tonite + 7am wakeup tomorrow + 9am work + 10:30am Apple Picking Trip with the Co-op...makes for one Tired Momma. :)
I had mastitis, too...Not a great day then. :)
Took a walk today, otherwise rested - Took pics...did laundry...made a to-do list...talked to Mom.
Felt very close to going under several times - and the scariest thing was that I was RECOGNIZING it, it wasn't blindsiding me...and I still could barely do anything about it. Too overwhelming, too strong/intense...too scary.
I realized that going to Newport without my folks is really upsetting me- the vacation has always been this time of year, since B was born. Evevry year (save maybe one), we've gone to my Mom & Pop's timeshare to spend 3 or 4 days with them - out of the 7 that they spend there. Last year was tough, with Pop fully in the grip of Alzheimer's, but still fairly okay as long as he could see/find my Mom.
This year - Mom planned on us all going for the whole week, because there's no way at 76 that she can really handle him at home, much less on vacation. So, E & I were going to help out. However, she's decided that things have just gotten too bad too fast, and she can't do it. I agree that he probably wouldn't take it well (the vacation, travel, new (to his current state of mind) place, etc...but she sure deserves a break. Mom is looking at both in-home care, either 24/7 or just overnight, every night, and a few hours aside, 3 days a week; and nursing homes. The in-home care looks to be less expensive, and Mom would feel better about it, she thinks - and if it didn't work out, the Nursing home search would've been continuing, so no time really wasted there.
That said, even if she did get someone for 24/7, she wouldn't leave him FOR a week, IN just a week.
I'm really apprehensive about going to the Timeshare without them - it's just not how we do it, it's a FAMILY vacation. Don't misunderstand - I love spending alone time with my husband & daughter, it's one of my favorite things.If this were an "On Purpose" thing, a deliberate decision, then I'd be fine with it, even excited and full of anticipation. Being there without them this year will be, instead, because something, or somethings, have gone wrong....or if not Wrong, definately not right.
I don't even know which bedroom we'll stay in. Staying in our - OUR - bedroom would, I think, feel scary. It's in the lock-out, with it's own bathroom, but separate from the actual living space & master bedroom.
Staying in the Master bedroom would be weird...and sad...I'm just so frazzled and I just do NOT know how to handle it.
Any of it.
I know that my husband loves me. He wants and tries to help - and when I can get ahold of myself, those facts are a BIG help.
YAWN...time for BED. 3:30am bedtime this morning + 7:30am wakeup today + 11:30pm bedtime tonite + 7am wakeup tomorrow + 9am work + 10:30am Apple Picking Trip with the Co-op...makes for one Tired Momma. :)