(no subject)
I am depressed. So so so depressed. The last few weeks have been really hard. I don't know what to do. Each weak attempt to get out and do something usually falls through and then I feel worse. And even if it didn't fall through, I am still sad. All the time.
I think it's because of the stress of my internship and feeling like a total failure there, as well as the stress of trying to decide what to do with my education (
MIT program? Just get my BA and be done with Evergreen? Shoot for a BAS since I don't know what I want to be yet?...fuck...) I need to decide soon. I'm half-way through senior year and I feel dumber than I was when I started at Evergreen. I was a smart cookie then, and now I'm worn out and de-fucking-pressed. I've always been emo and kinda pathetic, but now its bad.
I'm craving Ambien and alcohol... what I used to use every night when I lived in the dorms. That's bad news all around, but you get to a point where you just don't care.
I think it's because of the stress of my internship and feeling like a total failure there, as well as the stress of trying to decide what to do with my education (
MIT program? Just get my BA and be done with Evergreen? Shoot for a BAS since I don't know what I want to be yet?...fuck...) I need to decide soon. I'm half-way through senior year and I feel dumber than I was when I started at Evergreen. I was a smart cookie then, and now I'm worn out and de-fucking-pressed. I've always been emo and kinda pathetic, but now its bad.
I'm craving Ambien and alcohol... what I used to use every night when I lived in the dorms. That's bad news all around, but you get to a point where you just don't care.