(no subject)
I'm feeling a little weird tonight. I can't quite explain it. I think "depressed" might be a good word for how I feel, but I really don't know why. I just feel alone and sad and pretty much for no good reason that I can see. I went out to dinner tonight with 2 really good friends and we had a GREAT time. They went on to the movies and I came home because I'm a little worn out. I wanted to spend the evening drinking pgtips and surfing, which is exactly what I'm doing. I don't know what my deal is.
On the flip side, I was looking through my clothes earlier trying to figure out what I wanted to wear out to dinner and I came across my sized 18 jeans. God, how far I've come. I've not been binge-free, but I've binged so much less than before. I used to binge several times a week for a variety of reaons (to make myself feel better, to celebrate, because I was bored - regardless of the reason, I NEEDED to binge.). Now I've got a handle on my binges to the point that maybe I only binge once every ten days and a few weeks ago, I binged on rice cakes and carrots. I mean, yes, it's still binging, but that's such a change from binging on Taco Bell and Pizza Hut (yes, at the same time). I'm feeling much more in control of that. But I get scared when I get depressed like I am right now because that usually signals a binge may be coming. *sigh* Luckily, I don't feel that well and there isn't anything to eat in the house. Unless you count water and tea.
On the flip side, I was looking through my clothes earlier trying to figure out what I wanted to wear out to dinner and I came across my sized 18 jeans. God, how far I've come. I've not been binge-free, but I've binged so much less than before. I used to binge several times a week for a variety of reaons (to make myself feel better, to celebrate, because I was bored - regardless of the reason, I NEEDED to binge.). Now I've got a handle on my binges to the point that maybe I only binge once every ten days and a few weeks ago, I binged on rice cakes and carrots. I mean, yes, it's still binging, but that's such a change from binging on Taco Bell and Pizza Hut (yes, at the same time). I'm feeling much more in control of that. But I get scared when I get depressed like I am right now because that usually signals a binge may be coming. *sigh* Luckily, I don't feel that well and there isn't anything to eat in the house. Unless you count water and tea.