(no subject)
Within maybe the first 30 seconds of a call, I can actually tell how it's going to go. It's really fascinating, these different kinds of men I have. There are two basic categories -- loud and quiet. The loud ones are easy. They're outgoing, they know what they want, and they want you to help them get it. They understand that they're buying a fantasy, and they participate fully. You have no idea how important participation is. The loud ones I can easily keep on for 6 minutes at the absolute minimum. Usually they'll go for over 10.
The quiet ones, though, can be separated into a dozen different categories. Let me give you one.
The Skeptics
These are the ones who've heard of phone sex, but have never tried it before. They don't understand that they're just buying a fantasy. They want to REALLY know what you look like, how old you REALLY are, what you REALLY like to do. They assume that whatever you've told them upfront is a lie. For instance, when I'm describing what I look like, I always say, "I'm 18 years old. I'm 5'3", I've got long brown hair, green eyes, nice firm C-cup breasts and a nice round ass." Pretty much perfect, right? These men are always suspicious because I'm just too perfect. What would they prefer I say? "I'm 5'10", balding, terrible acne, and a hairy back"? (Not really, folks.) They're buying the perfect woman, I'm giving it to them, and they're not happy. So when they call me on it, I always sheepishly admit some minor flaw, "Well, I actually do wear glasses." or "To be honest with you, I'm really 23." If I told them the truth -- I'm 26 and already graying -- they would freak and hang up immediately. They don't want the truth, much as they think they do. Okay, there's one guy out there who would probably get off on the reality, but the rest would hang up.
Now, the skeptics can be divided into two subcategories: those who accept what you've just told them, and those who won't. The ones who accept it are proud of themselves for outing the phone sex operator. They feel like the two of you have a real connection because they were special enough for you to confide in them. These types of guys, I would guess, aren't really happy with one-night stands in real life; they feel a need to date some before having sex. After I give them some "real" details, they usually will stay on the phone for at least 15 minutes. I'll get them off in the first few minutes, but then they want to talk about their lives -- where they live, what they do for a living, why they're calling me. They almost always tell me that they are just too busy to date in real life, so they call for phone sex.
The non-accepting skeptics, though -- those really boil my butt. I just can't stand them! Everything I do, every step of the process is questioned or met with disbelieving silence. Remember that guy I mentioned a few weeks ago, the one who told me to keep my day job? He was one of these. You never get ANY feedback from them during the process, no moans, no grunts, no nothin'. They'll actually stay on for a good long while, too -- at least 5 or 6 minutes. They usually just hang up on you, no good-byes, no thank you. I always picture them as Simon Cowell, sitting back with his arms crossed with that bored, disgusted look on his face (no, I do NOT watch American Idol; I've seen him on commercials, okay?). When the day comes that one of them finally says to me in a British acccent, "That was ghastly. I can honestly say that that was the worst phone sex I have ever heard. You should never be allowed to orgasm again.", I will not be surprised.
These types suck all my energy out, not giving any back. Imagine yourself playing basketball. Five people on your team, right? You dribble down the court, pass the ball to a teammate, she catches it. She throws it someone else. They catch it. They pass it to someone else. She catches it, she shoots, she scores.
Here's how that game would be played with one of these men. I have the ball, I pass it to him. He looks at it coming his way but doesn't reach for it. It bounces off him or flies right past him. So I run to pick it up and dribble some more. I pass it again, he looks at me like, why are you throwing that ball over here? I run to retrieve the pass, I dribble, I shoot, I make a basket. He, though, watching me the entire time, is asking if I really LIKE to dribble, telling me it doesn't sound like I enjoy dribbling, and I'm not really dribbling right anyway, and my basket wasn't really a basket, it didn't go in all the way, and I probably shouldn't consider a career in basketball. And he never for a second stops to think that it might have been a better game if he had caught a single pass, if he had done a little dribbling, if he had taken a shot. They think that they're sitting in the bleachers, I think they should be out there on the floor. Playing a whole basketball game all by yourself is exhausting.
The quiet ones, though, can be separated into a dozen different categories. Let me give you one.
The Skeptics
These are the ones who've heard of phone sex, but have never tried it before. They don't understand that they're just buying a fantasy. They want to REALLY know what you look like, how old you REALLY are, what you REALLY like to do. They assume that whatever you've told them upfront is a lie. For instance, when I'm describing what I look like, I always say, "I'm 18 years old. I'm 5'3", I've got long brown hair, green eyes, nice firm C-cup breasts and a nice round ass." Pretty much perfect, right? These men are always suspicious because I'm just too perfect. What would they prefer I say? "I'm 5'10", balding, terrible acne, and a hairy back"? (Not really, folks.) They're buying the perfect woman, I'm giving it to them, and they're not happy. So when they call me on it, I always sheepishly admit some minor flaw, "Well, I actually do wear glasses." or "To be honest with you, I'm really 23." If I told them the truth -- I'm 26 and already graying -- they would freak and hang up immediately. They don't want the truth, much as they think they do. Okay, there's one guy out there who would probably get off on the reality, but the rest would hang up.
Now, the skeptics can be divided into two subcategories: those who accept what you've just told them, and those who won't. The ones who accept it are proud of themselves for outing the phone sex operator. They feel like the two of you have a real connection because they were special enough for you to confide in them. These types of guys, I would guess, aren't really happy with one-night stands in real life; they feel a need to date some before having sex. After I give them some "real" details, they usually will stay on the phone for at least 15 minutes. I'll get them off in the first few minutes, but then they want to talk about their lives -- where they live, what they do for a living, why they're calling me. They almost always tell me that they are just too busy to date in real life, so they call for phone sex.
The non-accepting skeptics, though -- those really boil my butt. I just can't stand them! Everything I do, every step of the process is questioned or met with disbelieving silence. Remember that guy I mentioned a few weeks ago, the one who told me to keep my day job? He was one of these. You never get ANY feedback from them during the process, no moans, no grunts, no nothin'. They'll actually stay on for a good long while, too -- at least 5 or 6 minutes. They usually just hang up on you, no good-byes, no thank you. I always picture them as Simon Cowell, sitting back with his arms crossed with that bored, disgusted look on his face (no, I do NOT watch American Idol; I've seen him on commercials, okay?). When the day comes that one of them finally says to me in a British acccent, "That was ghastly. I can honestly say that that was the worst phone sex I have ever heard. You should never be allowed to orgasm again.", I will not be surprised.
These types suck all my energy out, not giving any back. Imagine yourself playing basketball. Five people on your team, right? You dribble down the court, pass the ball to a teammate, she catches it. She throws it someone else. They catch it. They pass it to someone else. She catches it, she shoots, she scores.
Here's how that game would be played with one of these men. I have the ball, I pass it to him. He looks at it coming his way but doesn't reach for it. It bounces off him or flies right past him. So I run to pick it up and dribble some more. I pass it again, he looks at me like, why are you throwing that ball over here? I run to retrieve the pass, I dribble, I shoot, I make a basket. He, though, watching me the entire time, is asking if I really LIKE to dribble, telling me it doesn't sound like I enjoy dribbling, and I'm not really dribbling right anyway, and my basket wasn't really a basket, it didn't go in all the way, and I probably shouldn't consider a career in basketball. And he never for a second stops to think that it might have been a better game if he had caught a single pass, if he had done a little dribbling, if he had taken a shot. They think that they're sitting in the bleachers, I think they should be out there on the floor. Playing a whole basketball game all by yourself is exhausting.