(no subject)
What a night.
faces and friends and innovations.
Started a funk band, made a sweater-dress. I might have a friend or two left.
Silliness and ridiculosity and knowing I could never be creative drunk. Happy to be friendly and free.
Unfamiliar lines on a familiar table. Laughing terror, holy shits and ballsy women. Sobering up from contact highs.
Waiting and waiting and waiting for sleep. Crying terrors. Shivering shaking terrors.
Now I'm awake with quiet terror on my back, lurking over my shoulder to spill into my eyes.
No matter how good the beginning is, it seems like it's always the bad things that stick.
I long for peace and stillness.
I hype myself up for things that will never happen.
I feel as though I am pushing myself up a hill just waiting to hit the top and tumble over into the ease and thrilling rush of sliding down. Like everything will fall into place. It's not just going to happen, though. I can't keep trucking waiting for happiness, I have to make it happen. I think it is going to take a lot of careful planning.
Open hearts and ears welcome. I'm pretty sure I still have a couple, too, if anyone else is looking.
faces and friends and innovations.
Started a funk band, made a sweater-dress. I might have a friend or two left.
Silliness and ridiculosity and knowing I could never be creative drunk. Happy to be friendly and free.
Unfamiliar lines on a familiar table. Laughing terror, holy shits and ballsy women. Sobering up from contact highs.
Waiting and waiting and waiting for sleep. Crying terrors. Shivering shaking terrors.
Now I'm awake with quiet terror on my back, lurking over my shoulder to spill into my eyes.
No matter how good the beginning is, it seems like it's always the bad things that stick.
I long for peace and stillness.
I hype myself up for things that will never happen.
I feel as though I am pushing myself up a hill just waiting to hit the top and tumble over into the ease and thrilling rush of sliding down. Like everything will fall into place. It's not just going to happen, though. I can't keep trucking waiting for happiness, I have to make it happen. I think it is going to take a lot of careful planning.
Open hearts and ears welcome. I'm pretty sure I still have a couple, too, if anyone else is looking.