Damn!!! I haven't on here in a hot lil minute....
I know its been another long absence but I was searching through some of my old e-mail addresses lookin for a poem I wrote way back in 2003. I wrote it because that was a time when alot of various people pissed me off for various reasons. And I wrote this poem as a vow that I was going to change but I didn't. I was still in a fucked up relationship which I still regret to this day and just a whole lot of bullshit...
So if you do get to read this just know that the person you used to know is gone for ever and the the evil bitch I hide inside so often is out and with a vengence.
With this poem I am staying single because I have came to the realization that I don't need a relationship to make me happy. I know me feelings may change but this is how I feel right now, and right now I don't want to be with anybody. I don't want to fall in love again, only to have my heart broken. I don't want anybody to come in my life only to think they can mold into something I'm not. I don't want to get married to somebody and then those goals I had held on to for long waiting to accomplish are gone because of this ball and chain I call my husband. I want to accomplish my goals and know that nothing is going to hold me back.
If I grow old and die it won't be alone because I will have,my daughter Aniya, and my best friend, Danielle, plus a select few other people that I as of this day have not failed me yet. So as long as you have people in the world like Keith and Ruth, that lets you know, I would be a whole lot better by myself
Also I am not going to my graduation which I anticipated highly up until my mother decided to change all that for me by paying for everything my brother(which now totals around 300 sumthin dollars) but back doors and tells me I got a job I can pay for my own stuff. And I think to myself, "you sholl right." And I ain't going to graduation or the lil graduation party they having because apparently I didn't work hard enough. If they want to find me they ain't cause at that time I am leaving for 2 weeks and spend some time on my own.
I am going to get a hysterectomy this summer before I go back to school because I don't want any more kids. I didn't want any to begin with and I have the beautiful lil girl I've dreamed of so I don't need anymore. The people in the world that want kids because they are so cute and precious don't know even half the work that goes into taking care of them. My advice: Adopt a child that needs a good home. Telling yourself that when you get pregnant and the time comes to go into labor, you telling them you don't want to have it vaginally you want a c-section! Thats a sign right there that you don't want to put in the necessary work that goes with a child. You haven't learned that there are no shortcuts. Just adopt or don't have one at all.
I have a lot more to say but I will save it for another day- Just read the poem and know that when it all comes down and the cards are laid out, that it really ain't as pretty as you think it is
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A Welcome to Middle Finger University
By: Lady Dee
......for those who don't like me.....welcome to Middle Finger U
where you can learn that i don't give a fuck, and get your ass whooped too....
this is not a state of the art facility but it serves a purpose and makes a point
just to let you know that when you give a damn, i won't
if you don't like me, you get an all expense paid trip
to a broken nose, hurt feelings, and maybe even a busted lip
and if you try me hard enough you might get a scholorship
to get your ass busted foot first , straight from the rip
i don't appreciate you talking behind my damn back
saying shit about me when you don't know crap
you've only talked to me once, and you think that you know me from a few words
i'm sorry to say you're sadly mistaken, and fuck what ya heard
you think i'm one thing, but i'm just the opposite of that
but i'm pretty sure if you keep talking my foot and your ass will attach
permanently, i doubt it, temporarily is a given
you don't know shit about me, or how i'm living.....
so who are you to judge what i say, and what i do?
nobody.....and that's your welcome to Middle Finger U.
Have a nice day
So if you do get to read this just know that the person you used to know is gone for ever and the the evil bitch I hide inside so often is out and with a vengence.
With this poem I am staying single because I have came to the realization that I don't need a relationship to make me happy. I know me feelings may change but this is how I feel right now, and right now I don't want to be with anybody. I don't want to fall in love again, only to have my heart broken. I don't want anybody to come in my life only to think they can mold into something I'm not. I don't want to get married to somebody and then those goals I had held on to for long waiting to accomplish are gone because of this ball and chain I call my husband. I want to accomplish my goals and know that nothing is going to hold me back.
If I grow old and die it won't be alone because I will have,my daughter Aniya, and my best friend, Danielle, plus a select few other people that I as of this day have not failed me yet. So as long as you have people in the world like Keith and Ruth, that lets you know, I would be a whole lot better by myself
Also I am not going to my graduation which I anticipated highly up until my mother decided to change all that for me by paying for everything my brother(which now totals around 300 sumthin dollars) but back doors and tells me I got a job I can pay for my own stuff. And I think to myself, "you sholl right." And I ain't going to graduation or the lil graduation party they having because apparently I didn't work hard enough. If they want to find me they ain't cause at that time I am leaving for 2 weeks and spend some time on my own.
I am going to get a hysterectomy this summer before I go back to school because I don't want any more kids. I didn't want any to begin with and I have the beautiful lil girl I've dreamed of so I don't need anymore. The people in the world that want kids because they are so cute and precious don't know even half the work that goes into taking care of them. My advice: Adopt a child that needs a good home. Telling yourself that when you get pregnant and the time comes to go into labor, you telling them you don't want to have it vaginally you want a c-section! Thats a sign right there that you don't want to put in the necessary work that goes with a child. You haven't learned that there are no shortcuts. Just adopt or don't have one at all.
I have a lot more to say but I will save it for another day- Just read the poem and know that when it all comes down and the cards are laid out, that it really ain't as pretty as you think it is
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A Welcome to Middle Finger University
By: Lady Dee
......for those who don't like me.....welcome to Middle Finger U
where you can learn that i don't give a fuck, and get your ass whooped too....
this is not a state of the art facility but it serves a purpose and makes a point
just to let you know that when you give a damn, i won't
if you don't like me, you get an all expense paid trip
to a broken nose, hurt feelings, and maybe even a busted lip
and if you try me hard enough you might get a scholorship
to get your ass busted foot first , straight from the rip
i don't appreciate you talking behind my damn back
saying shit about me when you don't know crap
you've only talked to me once, and you think that you know me from a few words
i'm sorry to say you're sadly mistaken, and fuck what ya heard
you think i'm one thing, but i'm just the opposite of that
but i'm pretty sure if you keep talking my foot and your ass will attach
permanently, i doubt it, temporarily is a given
you don't know shit about me, or how i'm living.....
so who are you to judge what i say, and what i do?
nobody.....and that's your welcome to Middle Finger U.
Have a nice day