1st post-surgical whine
so, i haven't bathed in forever.
everyone is very busy and at the end of the day, all anyone can think about is relaxing. and bathing me is NOT relaxing at the moment. in fact, i think that helping me bathe is about the equivalent of trying to bath shamu in a home bathtub while being poked in the back with some sort of cattle prod.
it doesn't change the fact that i'm dirty and i stink. everyone else gets to bathe and shower at their leisure while i'm stuck hoping that someone will help me remember (i'm on drugs, my brain is fuzzy.) that i need to bathe or that the day hasn't been so hectic that everyone has no energy. to both i say: fat chance.
i hate feeling helpless. i hate feeling like no one appreciates what i do when i'm alive and well and now that i'm laid up, i hate feeling that no one appreciates what i do enough to keep it going on a regular basis.
M has been out of town, A has been busy doing what normally keeps him busy and i think that my mother-in-law is likely to have a complete physical and mental collapse when she gets home due to trying to keep a family of 5 going after a)years of having no children living in the house and b)never having this many people to keep track of... EVER!!!! schedules, meals, shopping, taxi service, cleaning, hauling, lifting and such. she hasn't had to do anything like this ever. not where her family (husband and one child) were concerned.
i probably have pms. i'm feeling like crap, i'm in pain, i don't want my children around because they make this a million times harder. then, i feel bad because i feel like a bad mother!! the circle, she keeps a spinnin.
i'm not trying to point anyone out and lay blame. i'm just feelin pitiful cuz i wanna be clean and on both feet.
everyone is very busy and at the end of the day, all anyone can think about is relaxing. and bathing me is NOT relaxing at the moment. in fact, i think that helping me bathe is about the equivalent of trying to bath shamu in a home bathtub while being poked in the back with some sort of cattle prod.
it doesn't change the fact that i'm dirty and i stink. everyone else gets to bathe and shower at their leisure while i'm stuck hoping that someone will help me remember (i'm on drugs, my brain is fuzzy.) that i need to bathe or that the day hasn't been so hectic that everyone has no energy. to both i say: fat chance.
i hate feeling helpless. i hate feeling like no one appreciates what i do when i'm alive and well and now that i'm laid up, i hate feeling that no one appreciates what i do enough to keep it going on a regular basis.
M has been out of town, A has been busy doing what normally keeps him busy and i think that my mother-in-law is likely to have a complete physical and mental collapse when she gets home due to trying to keep a family of 5 going after a)years of having no children living in the house and b)never having this many people to keep track of... EVER!!!! schedules, meals, shopping, taxi service, cleaning, hauling, lifting and such. she hasn't had to do anything like this ever. not where her family (husband and one child) were concerned.
i probably have pms. i'm feeling like crap, i'm in pain, i don't want my children around because they make this a million times harder. then, i feel bad because i feel like a bad mother!! the circle, she keeps a spinnin.
i'm not trying to point anyone out and lay blame. i'm just feelin pitiful cuz i wanna be clean and on both feet.