EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
The most surreal instalment of cloak room duty occurred on friday nite.
I am bored. drinking pint glasses full of gin and cranberry.
a drunk blonde with wide eyes came to me to get her bag back at around 1am.
'do you want some coke?'she asks
i can'thear her properly...
'ok' i said
she proceeded to try and rack up lines on the desk.
' we cant do it here, my manager will come in any moment'
'oh' she says.
like clockwork, 5 minutes later he comes in. he laughs. she has pulled up a chair next to me and is sitting behind the desk. she is talking to a customer who has just come in to get his coat back. she is telling him she will dance for him for $5.
i am thinking..'fuck.i am going to get fired'
my manager says ' im not paying both of you' laughs. and walks away.
'do you want a pill then?'
'yea, sure' i say
she hands it to me. i bite it in half and give it back to her. it has crumbled into two halves into her hand.
'i dont even like pills'she say. giving back another quater.
'thanks' i say
'do you want to listen to my ipod?'
'sure' i say
her eyes are huge.still swollen, moonless lakes.bloodshot and blue.
i am drunk and i keep looking at the blue pigment of her glasses.
she is so high and wasted she keeps skipping tracks after 30 seconds. she tells me the same things over and over again.
'do you want some speed? we can do lines here.i dont care'
i explain to her we cant. 20 minutes pass.we are talking. customers come in. she flirts with them.
she has a habit of winking evry few minutes,no matter what i am saying.
she is attractive but keeps saying ' no doubt' in response to things.
this isn't so attractive.
eventually she calls her friend and organises where and when they are meeting up.
i make sure she is going to be ok to get in a cab.
she says she will be fine.
we say goodbye and then she leaves.
'ok' i think
'okaaay.......'