Wrapping around your heart, your mind, your soul.
Took me the better part of two days, but I finally managed it - The Boosh live show in photos!!
It's been 3 months since my last show, so some of the quotes may not be as accurate (comments and corrections are appreciated). Also, I obviousy had to leave out quite a lot, but I did try to get the good bits in. Angles, quality and costumes may vary as the pictures are taken from three different shows - one in October and two in December. And if you haven't actually seen the live show, some of it won't make sense. But that's the Boosh for you.
It is EXTREMELY SPOILERY and not dial-up friendly (does anybody still have dial-up? anyway, it's well over 100 pictures), so consider yourself warned.
Future sailors!
We're sailors from the future.
It's quite as simple concept.
Hello Sheffield/Blackpool/Bristol/Wembley/O2!!!
Unicorn Tears by Jean Claude Jacquettie.
Unicorn Tears... because you want to smell like the weeping eye of a mythical horse. Jacquettie, Jacquettie... A world where books can become butterflies. Jaquettie... Because you know who you are when you're you.
Where was my boat in Future Sailors??
You had a boat.
That was a dingy! I had to blow that fucker up! That's why I was out of breath in the song!
I thought you were having an asthma attack... Why didn't you just use the big yellow foot pump??
Howard is the man for you... He will take you out to see Jazz...
She doesn't like Jazz, she likes Kings Of Leon!
Ready for the first guest? He's my favourite American, he's your favourite American - Bob Fossil!!!
What I want to do is give you a little snippet... ummm that's a cross between a snip and a midget... of what one of my master dance classes would be like.
First - breathing. You gotta breathe from the crotch.
If you've got asthma or other breathing problems, TOUGH SHIT!!
I WAS IN 'NAM YOU KNOW!!!!
Your hair... is like Marmite! Ow! Sting your brain!
That is a nice Cord jacket.
Yeah, I'm the new face of Cord.
What *is* the new face of Cord?
The Jacquettie 5000. A hair dryer so big, you can bum it if you have to.
(The next guests who have not changed one bit despite living in LA and hanging out with all the rappers - Dr. Dre, Cool Keith, Colin T. Anus... It's Naboo and Bollo!!)
I love Pussy! I love pussy every day!!
Naboo, you've changed.
Naboo, what are you playing at? Besides dressing up as our dad in the seventies? You look like a a Bollywood kiwi fruit.
Hey Bollo, is that clock big enough?
Doubles up as a frisby.
You've gone too far. I'm gonna have to turn my back on you.
Yeah! Feel the power of that!
Hello, I'm the moon. Time for me to do a song... He's so bright and milky white, shining down upon the ground. He's so white, milky bright, hanging in the sky like an apple in the night time. Everybody look at the moon, oh! Everybody look at the moon, yay! Everybody seeing the moon, yay! I am the moon, you're not the moon. I am the moon, everybody's the moon. We are the moon, I am the moon!
I got 99 problems and the bitch ain't one of them, oh!!!!! Chika-ka-ka! 99 problems, 4 of them are catering...
Comedy glasses!
Let me dream.
You know, a lot of people say elbow patches aren't sexy…
Sometimes people say that someone is "out of this world". In our next guest's case it's actually true. All the way from the planet Xooberon - Mr. Tony Harrison!!
I got my own little subsection of the show! Some people call it a subsection, I like to call it 'The H Man's powerful nugget'!
Krakow!
Bollo, you'e supposed to wheel me out during the music, you batty crease!
Are you having a hard time in there? Hot costume, uncomfortable?
Crack fox!!
My nose has come loose!
Ladies and gentlemen, closing the first half, the Bethnal Green nightmare, the Hoxton rapist, the one, the only, THE HITCHER!!
The Ungrateful Dead.
The Piper twins. There's 3 of them.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to talk to you about some evil business going on down Bethnal Green way. I ain't talking about rape and murder, although those things can be quite amusing on a wet Wednesday. That's right... I'm talking about EELS!
Eels! Eels! Give it up now!
Intermission.
For the second half of the show I've written a play. Now, I know what you're thinking. Don't think that.
Fear/surprise. Those are just two of a possible five.
The play deals with a very important subject - the enviorment. Even as we've been on stage tonight, 40 seals have died.
41. I'm going as fast as I can.
Vince will be with us momentarily. He's just putting the final adjustments to his hair.
Level 4!
Are your eyebrows high enough? They look like a black McDonalds sign.
Yeah well, you look like an owl. Tweet-twat.
Well, we're about to start my play...
Oh yeah, about that. Me and Leroy had a look at your script and he's flagged up a few problems.
Leroy has no business flagging up problems in my script.
Yes he does, he's got a small business - problem flagger upper.
Well it's my play, you can be in it, that's it.
We'll see about that... I just have to give this back to Winehouse.
Howard Moon introduces... a play! By Howard Moon. Starring, you guessed it, Howard Moon. Featuring the Howard Moon players. Simply titled "No... Future?"
This is a story of a simple carpenter-stroke-jazz musician.
I am fire!!
I am flood!!
I AM CHAOS!!! AAHHHHHH!!!!! What? Too much?
Oh, blimey, would you look at that? An iceberg smack in the middle of London Town.
Must be all the global warming people are talking about!
You're giving Dick Van Dyke a run for his money.
I'm a cockney, I'm a cockney...
Imagine that, but 400 times.
The man descended from his hiding place... carefully.
He was all alone...
Until Melinda. Melinda was a regular shop dummy. Her body a broom handle. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was the only woman in the world.
The man was alone. All alone. Or was he?
Who are we? Are we James Mason? All the best men shave twice a day!!
Are you the chosen one? It is said that the chosen one will come from the north. Are you from the north?
I... am from Leeds.
Leeds? What is Leeds?
Leeds is a state of mind.
Who's this? Have you built yourself a funny dummy?
That's Melinda. Put her down.
Oh I get it boys, he's a dummy fucker!
Dummy bummy!
(Julian cracking up. It's the most adorable picture... Anyway, Howard tells the mutants that he will educate them on how to treat the planet right using the 400 rules of recycling.)
Howard Moon thought he was the only man in the world, but there was another one. A girl-boy, a he-she. When the fires came he was tucked away in his Jacquettie 5000. He traveled through time and space...
I am Sunflash. I am from the future.
No I'm from the future, that's my thing.
Oh really? I beg to differ. I am from further along in the future.
What is that accent all about?
It's a mixture of Chinese and Chav. I call it Chavese. I think everybody will be doing it in the future.
We're doing my script now. Go and get it.
No.
Then I wil show them...
That is just the cover... Don't make me show them what's in the centre.
Oh ok.
(Howard comes out with Vince's script which is written in crayon)
Do the next line, it's a good one!
Robots! Robots! Sexy robots! Do you have one in your spaceship?
Introducing... Booblay!!
I am Booblay. I'm a futuristic pleasure-bot. I fuck anything in sight.
I am Sunflash, I am Booblay. And we have come here, from very far away.
Another galaxy, a burning star, oh yah. We have come for future fun from a planet called Camden.
We’re from another dimension. Did you hear us when we mention? We’re from another dimension, mension, mension...
(the mutants all gather to declare that that was the best song ear scratchings they've ever heard. Much better than all that jazz the tall freak made them listen to.)
Who are you?
I am Sunflash. I am from Camden. It's in north London.
The north! He's from the north! he's the chosen one!
I am the chosen one. And to prove it I will take all of the remaining resources on the planet, mainly oil, and rub it into Booblay's nipples!!
No, listen, you've gone too far. This is supposed to be about the enviorment...
What?? Oh, do you want to do it? Ok...
(When I took these pictures in Blackpool the "erection mechanism" failed and Rich had to do it manually which was hilarious)
Make it go down, think of Jazz, Richard & Judy but mainly Judy...
(It didn't work on the way down either lol)
Let's have a mutant makeover!!
Electronic future fun...
Strike a pose!
We are the mutant race. Take a look at our eyes, take a look at our face.
So the moral of the story is - even if you're a bit weird looking, learn to accesorise with the help of Jean Claude Jaquettie!!
So that's it? This whole thing was just an ad for Jean Claude Jacquettie? You've embarrassed yourself.
I've embarrassed myself?
(and if you need a closer look)
Oh come on Howard, it was only a joke. We can't finish the show without you. You're the king of acting. You know what they call you in Papoa New Guinea?
What?
(Vince does a weird tribal noise)
What does that mean?
Well, roughly translated it means tromboner! No, I'm just kidding, it means king of acting. Come on, remember that time we had to put on that show in school, and I did no work at all, and you just kicked in the classroom's door and saved us? I mean, who knew you could recreate Ben Hur with lollysticks??
That was pretty good wasn't it?
lollystick, lollystick, ooh!
Yeah! Crimps make everything alright!! Soup, soup, a tasty soup, soup!!
Get ready to dance! Feed those chockens, feed those chickens. Rub your chest, rub your tummy, grab those sandwiches, ooh! This one’s tuna. Where were you last night? Where were you last night?
Who? Who? Naboo that's who!
I love the chosen one!
BOUNCY BOUNCY!!
Everytime I bounce I feel I touch the sky!!
Oh no!!
Hold him down!
Vince, bring on the Jacquettie 5000! set it to level 5!
Level 5!!
Fire!
Death to the honey monster!!
Thank yous...
Alright there yellow shape?
I'm a head, you're a head. My wife's left me, I need some sexual release...
Take it! Take it! Take it like you take other people's ideas you plagiaristic bastard!!
Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
I'm gonna call out the balls, ya'll…
Calling all sixes, 666... NANAGEDDON!!!!
And that's that.
It's been 3 months since my last show, so some of the quotes may not be as accurate (comments and corrections are appreciated). Also, I obviousy had to leave out quite a lot, but I did try to get the good bits in. Angles, quality and costumes may vary as the pictures are taken from three different shows - one in October and two in December. And if you haven't actually seen the live show, some of it won't make sense. But that's the Boosh for you.
It is EXTREMELY SPOILERY and not dial-up friendly (does anybody still have dial-up? anyway, it's well over 100 pictures), so consider yourself warned.
Future sailors!
We're sailors from the future.
It's quite as simple concept.
Hello Sheffield/Blackpool/Bristol/Wembley/O2!!!
Unicorn Tears by Jean Claude Jacquettie.
Unicorn Tears... because you want to smell like the weeping eye of a mythical horse. Jacquettie, Jacquettie... A world where books can become butterflies. Jaquettie... Because you know who you are when you're you.
Where was my boat in Future Sailors??
You had a boat.
That was a dingy! I had to blow that fucker up! That's why I was out of breath in the song!
I thought you were having an asthma attack... Why didn't you just use the big yellow foot pump??
Howard is the man for you... He will take you out to see Jazz...
She doesn't like Jazz, she likes Kings Of Leon!
Ready for the first guest? He's my favourite American, he's your favourite American - Bob Fossil!!!
What I want to do is give you a little snippet... ummm that's a cross between a snip and a midget... of what one of my master dance classes would be like.
First - breathing. You gotta breathe from the crotch.
If you've got asthma or other breathing problems, TOUGH SHIT!!
I WAS IN 'NAM YOU KNOW!!!!
Your hair... is like Marmite! Ow! Sting your brain!
That is a nice Cord jacket.
Yeah, I'm the new face of Cord.
What *is* the new face of Cord?
The Jacquettie 5000. A hair dryer so big, you can bum it if you have to.
(The next guests who have not changed one bit despite living in LA and hanging out with all the rappers - Dr. Dre, Cool Keith, Colin T. Anus... It's Naboo and Bollo!!)
I love Pussy! I love pussy every day!!
Naboo, you've changed.
Naboo, what are you playing at? Besides dressing up as our dad in the seventies? You look like a a Bollywood kiwi fruit.
Hey Bollo, is that clock big enough?
Doubles up as a frisby.
You've gone too far. I'm gonna have to turn my back on you.
Yeah! Feel the power of that!
Hello, I'm the moon. Time for me to do a song... He's so bright and milky white, shining down upon the ground. He's so white, milky bright, hanging in the sky like an apple in the night time. Everybody look at the moon, oh! Everybody look at the moon, yay! Everybody seeing the moon, yay! I am the moon, you're not the moon. I am the moon, everybody's the moon. We are the moon, I am the moon!
I got 99 problems and the bitch ain't one of them, oh!!!!! Chika-ka-ka! 99 problems, 4 of them are catering...
Comedy glasses!
Let me dream.
You know, a lot of people say elbow patches aren't sexy…
Sometimes people say that someone is "out of this world". In our next guest's case it's actually true. All the way from the planet Xooberon - Mr. Tony Harrison!!
I got my own little subsection of the show! Some people call it a subsection, I like to call it 'The H Man's powerful nugget'!
Krakow!
Bollo, you'e supposed to wheel me out during the music, you batty crease!
Are you having a hard time in there? Hot costume, uncomfortable?
Crack fox!!
My nose has come loose!
Ladies and gentlemen, closing the first half, the Bethnal Green nightmare, the Hoxton rapist, the one, the only, THE HITCHER!!
The Ungrateful Dead.
The Piper twins. There's 3 of them.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to talk to you about some evil business going on down Bethnal Green way. I ain't talking about rape and murder, although those things can be quite amusing on a wet Wednesday. That's right... I'm talking about EELS!
Eels! Eels! Give it up now!
Intermission.
For the second half of the show I've written a play. Now, I know what you're thinking. Don't think that.
Fear/surprise. Those are just two of a possible five.
The play deals with a very important subject - the enviorment. Even as we've been on stage tonight, 40 seals have died.
41. I'm going as fast as I can.
Vince will be with us momentarily. He's just putting the final adjustments to his hair.
Level 4!
Are your eyebrows high enough? They look like a black McDonalds sign.
Yeah well, you look like an owl. Tweet-twat.
Well, we're about to start my play...
Oh yeah, about that. Me and Leroy had a look at your script and he's flagged up a few problems.
Leroy has no business flagging up problems in my script.
Yes he does, he's got a small business - problem flagger upper.
Well it's my play, you can be in it, that's it.
We'll see about that... I just have to give this back to Winehouse.
Howard Moon introduces... a play! By Howard Moon. Starring, you guessed it, Howard Moon. Featuring the Howard Moon players. Simply titled "No... Future?"
This is a story of a simple carpenter-stroke-jazz musician.
I am fire!!
I am flood!!
I AM CHAOS!!! AAHHHHHH!!!!! What? Too much?
Oh, blimey, would you look at that? An iceberg smack in the middle of London Town.
Must be all the global warming people are talking about!
You're giving Dick Van Dyke a run for his money.
I'm a cockney, I'm a cockney...
Imagine that, but 400 times.
The man descended from his hiding place... carefully.
He was all alone...
Until Melinda. Melinda was a regular shop dummy. Her body a broom handle. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was the only woman in the world.
The man was alone. All alone. Or was he?
Who are we? Are we James Mason? All the best men shave twice a day!!
Are you the chosen one? It is said that the chosen one will come from the north. Are you from the north?
I... am from Leeds.
Leeds? What is Leeds?
Leeds is a state of mind.
Who's this? Have you built yourself a funny dummy?
That's Melinda. Put her down.
Oh I get it boys, he's a dummy fucker!
Dummy bummy!
(Julian cracking up. It's the most adorable picture... Anyway, Howard tells the mutants that he will educate them on how to treat the planet right using the 400 rules of recycling.)
Howard Moon thought he was the only man in the world, but there was another one. A girl-boy, a he-she. When the fires came he was tucked away in his Jacquettie 5000. He traveled through time and space...
I am Sunflash. I am from the future.
No I'm from the future, that's my thing.
Oh really? I beg to differ. I am from further along in the future.
What is that accent all about?
It's a mixture of Chinese and Chav. I call it Chavese. I think everybody will be doing it in the future.
We're doing my script now. Go and get it.
No.
Then I wil show them...
That is just the cover... Don't make me show them what's in the centre.
Oh ok.
(Howard comes out with Vince's script which is written in crayon)
Do the next line, it's a good one!
Robots! Robots! Sexy robots! Do you have one in your spaceship?
Introducing... Booblay!!
I am Booblay. I'm a futuristic pleasure-bot. I fuck anything in sight.
I am Sunflash, I am Booblay. And we have come here, from very far away.
Another galaxy, a burning star, oh yah. We have come for future fun from a planet called Camden.
We’re from another dimension. Did you hear us when we mention? We’re from another dimension, mension, mension...
(the mutants all gather to declare that that was the best song ear scratchings they've ever heard. Much better than all that jazz the tall freak made them listen to.)
Who are you?
I am Sunflash. I am from Camden. It's in north London.
The north! He's from the north! he's the chosen one!
I am the chosen one. And to prove it I will take all of the remaining resources on the planet, mainly oil, and rub it into Booblay's nipples!!
No, listen, you've gone too far. This is supposed to be about the enviorment...
What?? Oh, do you want to do it? Ok...
(When I took these pictures in Blackpool the "erection mechanism" failed and Rich had to do it manually which was hilarious)
Make it go down, think of Jazz, Richard & Judy but mainly Judy...
(It didn't work on the way down either lol)
Let's have a mutant makeover!!
Electronic future fun...
Strike a pose!
We are the mutant race. Take a look at our eyes, take a look at our face.
So the moral of the story is - even if you're a bit weird looking, learn to accesorise with the help of Jean Claude Jaquettie!!
So that's it? This whole thing was just an ad for Jean Claude Jacquettie? You've embarrassed yourself.
I've embarrassed myself?
(and if you need a closer look)
Oh come on Howard, it was only a joke. We can't finish the show without you. You're the king of acting. You know what they call you in Papoa New Guinea?
What?
(Vince does a weird tribal noise)
What does that mean?
Well, roughly translated it means tromboner! No, I'm just kidding, it means king of acting. Come on, remember that time we had to put on that show in school, and I did no work at all, and you just kicked in the classroom's door and saved us? I mean, who knew you could recreate Ben Hur with lollysticks??
That was pretty good wasn't it?
lollystick, lollystick, ooh!
Yeah! Crimps make everything alright!! Soup, soup, a tasty soup, soup!!
Get ready to dance! Feed those chockens, feed those chickens. Rub your chest, rub your tummy, grab those sandwiches, ooh! This one’s tuna. Where were you last night? Where were you last night?
Who? Who? Naboo that's who!
I love the chosen one!
BOUNCY BOUNCY!!
Everytime I bounce I feel I touch the sky!!
Oh no!!
Hold him down!
Vince, bring on the Jacquettie 5000! set it to level 5!
Level 5!!
Fire!
Death to the honey monster!!
Thank yous...
Alright there yellow shape?
I'm a head, you're a head. My wife's left me, I need some sexual release...
Take it! Take it! Take it like you take other people's ideas you plagiaristic bastard!!
Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
I'm gonna call out the balls, ya'll…
Calling all sixes, 666... NANAGEDDON!!!!
And that's that.