productivity has reached an all time high (nicely toasted)
I haven't done a survey in ages, so I've decided to complete one in typical Z fashion. That is: make fun of the survey I spent an hour taking, honestly answer only 5% of the questions, answer the rest with completely off-topic information or comments that are meant to be amusing but aren't, accomplish nothing.
Here, I'll get you started.
Have you...
x. Fallen for your best friend - You mean like when mko was about to go over the edge of the Grand Canyon and I pushed her out of harm's way and fell in myself? Wait, that never happened.
x. Made out with JUST a friend - Sadly, I don't "make out" so much as "punch people." I am such a ball of sensual passion.
x. Been rejected - Rejected for what?
x. Been in love - I don't think so, no. Love is for those that fall behind. I think. Ask Fuel.
x. Used someone - Used someone for what? I've used someone as a floatation device.
x. Been used - Not as a floatation device, but as a pillow.
x. Cheated on someone - No. Not even when we were playing Hungry Hungry Hippos, and the other person so obviously WAS cheating.
x. Been cheated on - See above.
x. Done something you regret - Who hasn't? I say, if you have no regrets, you haven't taken enough chances. Or perhaps you're simply not stupid.
Last person...
x. You touched - Be is physically or emotionally, I honestly can't remember.
x. You talked to - Your mom. Wait, no, MY mom.
x. You hugged - Hugging is very much not my thing.
x. You instant messaged - Mike, who disappeared. I think the wild hogs got him.
x. You yelled at - I don't often "yell" at people. Sometimes I yell at the elves in the attic, though.
x. You laughed with - My mother (we hung out this afternoon, can ye tell?)
x. You had a crush on - Do you know how difficult it is to balance a can of Crush on someone's head if it has not been properly molded first?
x. Who broke your heart - o/~ No one's ever had my heart to break it...
Do you...
x. Color your hair - No. My hair color is naturally awesome, and I'm afraid I'd mess it up.
x. Have tattoos - Yes. "Place Postage Here." Also, I tell lies.
x. Piercings - One in each ear, one in my forehead, and one through my tortured, tortured soul!
x. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both - Both? DAMN, I be pimpin'!
x. Floss daily - Yes, actually. Nothin' says lovin' like cutting into your gums every night.
x. Own a webcam - I own a /broken/ web cam.
x. Ever get off the damn computer - If you're "on" your computer, you need a girlfriend IMMEDIATELY.
x. Sprechen sie deutsche - NEIN!
x. Habla espanol - Sí, un poco. Me encantan las canciones de Shakira. <3 <3 <3 (corazon corazon corazon)
Have u/do u/do u have... (Z edit: you. YOU. TWO EXTRA LETTERS YOU LAZY SACK.)
x. Considered a life of crime - Every day!
x. Considered being a hooker - Why be a hooker when you can donate blood plasma?
x. Considered being a pimp - I've been a pimp for Halloween.
x. Are you psycho - Have you are you psycho? Do you are you psycho? Do you have are you psycho? This question does not fit here.
x. Split personalities - Only split hairs.
x. Obsessive - Too lazy to be obsessive. 2 legit 2 quit. THAT is a valid use of netspeak right there.
x. Obsessive compulsive - Mildly. I'm also Original Character.
x. Panic - Only when the Pez runs low.
x. Anxiety - The elves in the attic make me anxious.
x. Depressed - I'm sad that I'm flying.
x. Suicidal - Do I qualify as suicidal if I'm trying to kill my clone?
x. Obsessed with hate - "hate: n (Japanese) the end; the extremity; the limit(s); the result." Hmm, maybe.
x. If you could be anywhere, where would you be - I would be.
x. What are you listening to - Super angst!
x. Can you do anything freakish with your body - It would be freakish if I could do anything *without* my body.
x. Chicken or fish - Chicken, cooked. Fish, raw. The yin and the yang.
x. Do you have a favorite animal - Jack Black.
x. Current clothes - Yes. Wait... okay, yes.
x. Current mood - Shifty.
x. Current taste - Captain Crunch. Cap'n Crunch? Rear Admiral Crunch. PIRATE CRUNCH.
x. Current hair - Mine.
x. Current annoyance - MTV: my constant annoyance.
x. Current smell - Roadkill fresh.
x. Current thing I ought to be doing - Shaving the dogs. Wait, no, that's what I ought not be doing. I always get the two confused.
x. Current desktop picture - Risky, from Omishi Magical Theater Risky Safety, aka TEH CUTE! I blame neherenia.
x. Current favorite group - U2.
x. Current book - The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (it's a COMIC book), and I just JUST started The Gods Themselves by Asimov.
x. Current DVD in player - Legaia: Duel Saga, as my DVD player is my PS2, and if kayli_kender is reading this, the game rules. I think so, anyway. If you liked the first, you'll probably like this one. If you ever get back on AIM, I can bombard you with details.
x. Current refreshment - The crunch.
x. Current worry - Finding a job. Oh, such woe. "The broken dreams index, or BDI, is calculated by the number of ramen noodle packets consumed in 30 days divided by the number of monthly plasma donations."
x. Current crush - Broken dreams, crushed dreams, close enough.
x. Current favorite celebrity - Anyone NOT DOING A GAP AD.
x. Drink - Drink what?
x. Color - The one. You know, the fourth primary color. Wink wink.
x. Shoes - Boots. They's MEN'S boots, pa! Ain't ya proud?
x. Candy - [] [] [] []
x. TV show - JUSTICE LEAGUE shiny eyes *_* and Futurama for now, though I've been pining for Babylon 5 lately.
x. Movie - You don't want me to list my favorite movies, unless you enjoy serious head trauma.
x. Dance - Dance Revolution.
Are you...
x. Understanding - Yes. No, really.
x. Open-minded - I'd like to think so.
x. Insecure - I always buckle my seat belt.
x. Interesting - You tell me, punk-ass Joe.
x. Hungry - Hungry Hippos!
x. Friendly - That's what I put in my job application.
x. Smart - In theory, yes. In practice, almost never.
x. Moody - Moody like Mad-Eye, fo' shizzle dizzle.
x. Childish - In a good way or a bad way?
x. Independent - Contractor. Wait, I keep forgetting this isn't word association.
x. Hard working - If I'm motivated to be such, then yes.
x. Organized - I'm more into disorganized crime, really.
x. Healthy - More like haggard. I need to go on a diet. Not a "lose weight" diet, but a "don't kill yourself with bad food now" diet.
x. Emotionally stable - It's where the My Little Ponies live.
x. Shy - So very not shy.
x. Difficult - I generally set the mode to "normal" if not "easy."
x. Attractive - I've been told by several people that I look sexy in my man clothes. UNF manclothes.
x. Bored easily - Well, I couldn't finish this survey in one sitting. Draw your own conclusions.
x. Thirsty - for MORE!
x. Responsible - Not when it comes to myself, but I try to be responsible when others are involved (though being a flake can get in the way).
x. Sad - Yes, I've been listening to Dido.
x. Happy - Yes, I've been listening to Dido.
x. Trusting - When it comes to the important stuff, yes.
x. Talkative - It varies with my company/food intake.
x. Unique - I have one of 18,000 black shirts that read "You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same." No, NO, I'M LYING. I don't have that shirt! I was pointing out the irony!!
x. Needy - Sometimes the oh-two tells me I'm too dependent on it.
Who do you want to...
x. Kill - If you kill, the elves win.
x. Slap - Loads of people, none of whom I know personally.
x. Look like - Z.
x. Be like - Ideal Z.
x. Talk to offline - Someone on the other end of a fast food drive-thru speaker.
On you...
x. Name - [[CENSORED BY THE FCC]]
x. Nicknames - Z (my favorite, w00t), Stace, Commander, BigMe, Dojo, Mariachi (maracas!), la Zed, El Z, El Stacio, La Stacia, Zorro, Zorro-el, etc. (whatever happened to Zoods?)
x. Hair color - I am fucked up. I am seeing some SHIT. I bet this is how dogs see.
x. Birthday - Christmas, the holy day of Sweet Monkey Jesus, 1982... and when I call someone a sweet monkey, you can bet it's a compliment.
x. Eye color - Blue-y-green-ish gray... Hazel. They're hazel.
x. Siblings - One. A sister. You may have heard of her.
x. How do you describe yourself - Either in words, or by KILLING YOU WITH MY EYES.
x. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend - Wasn't this question asked already? Ooo, wait, I see! Someone's coming on to me! Well, I'm flattered, but you're not my type. You have incoherent sentence structure and bad spelling.
On friends...
x. Best friend(s) - mko, duh. See question one.
x. Friend(s) you go to for advice - The elves. The elves in the goddamned attic I've mentioned half a dozen times already.
x. Friend(s) you have the most fun with - I have fun with all of them. That's why they're my friends.
x. Friend(s) you've dreamt about - Probably most of them.
x. Friend(s) your tell secrets to - Various misc etc.
x. Chocolate milk or hot chocolate - Both.
x. McDonalds or Burger King - Judging from what you've read in this survey alone and what you know of me, do you really think I'm THAT picky about food?
x. Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend - How about the perfect animal trainer?
x. Sweet or sour - Saucy.
x. Root Beer or Dr. Pepper - I'm down with ol' DP.
x. Sappy/action/comedy/horror - Haruka/Michiru/lesbians/unf. Wait, what was the question?
x. Cats or dogs - Lizards.
x. Ocean or pool - The sea. I ain't never heard of no Chicken of the Pool, have you?
x. Cooler Ranch or Nacho Cheesier - Again with the food/picky-ness.
x. Mud or Jell-O wrestling - Can't I just eat the Jell-O?
x. With or without ice-cubes - Even without, there's still not enough water to engulf all the land on earth. Or are you talking about drinks?
x. Shine or rain - Rain. I live in Phoenix, we've already got shine up the ass.
x. Winter/Summer/Autumn/Spring - Why must the seasons compete like this?
x. Vanilla or Chocolate - Both. Together. Like ebony and ivory.
x. Snowboarding or skiing - Fucking. Hate. Snow. I think. It doesn't snow in Phoenix, EVER, but what I can remember from other cities I don't like.
x. Cake or cookies - What's with the constantly making me choose between delicious edible food-stuffs?? It's /so cruel/!
x. Cereal or toast - I mean, they're both part of a balanced breakfast, aren't they?
x. Gloves or mittens - Gloves with the fingers cut off. Hobo-chic.
x. Eyes open or closed - They can do both.
x. Fly or breathe under water - I wanna be a superhero. I want to fly so high.
x. Bunk bed or water bed - Futon.
x. Chewing gum or hard candy - Both. Also, Pez.
x. Motor boat or sailboat - Pirate ship. How else will Nikki and I become fabulous pirates by age 30?
x. Lights on or off - Off, all other electronic devices on.
What did any of that have to do with friends?
What's your favorite...
x. Number - 42
x. Holiday - Halloween
x. Radio station - I have six that I cannot live without.
x. Place - Your mom. Or maybe the west coast.
x. Flower - The kind with venom glands.
x. Scent - Venomous flowers.
Here, I'll get you started.
Have you...
x. Fallen for your best friend - You mean like when mko was about to go over the edge of the Grand Canyon and I pushed her out of harm's way and fell in myself? Wait, that never happened.
x. Made out with JUST a friend - Sadly, I don't "make out" so much as "punch people." I am such a ball of sensual passion.
x. Been rejected - Rejected for what?
x. Been in love - I don't think so, no. Love is for those that fall behind. I think. Ask Fuel.
x. Used someone - Used someone for what? I've used someone as a floatation device.
x. Been used - Not as a floatation device, but as a pillow.
x. Cheated on someone - No. Not even when we were playing Hungry Hungry Hippos, and the other person so obviously WAS cheating.
x. Been cheated on - See above.
x. Done something you regret - Who hasn't? I say, if you have no regrets, you haven't taken enough chances. Or perhaps you're simply not stupid.
Last person...
x. You touched - Be is physically or emotionally, I honestly can't remember.
x. You talked to - Your mom. Wait, no, MY mom.
x. You hugged - Hugging is very much not my thing.
x. You instant messaged - Mike, who disappeared. I think the wild hogs got him.
x. You yelled at - I don't often "yell" at people. Sometimes I yell at the elves in the attic, though.
x. You laughed with - My mother (we hung out this afternoon, can ye tell?)
x. You had a crush on - Do you know how difficult it is to balance a can of Crush on someone's head if it has not been properly molded first?
x. Who broke your heart - o/~ No one's ever had my heart to break it...
Do you...
x. Color your hair - No. My hair color is naturally awesome, and I'm afraid I'd mess it up.
x. Have tattoos - Yes. "Place Postage Here." Also, I tell lies.
x. Piercings - One in each ear, one in my forehead, and one through my tortured, tortured soul!
x. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both - Both? DAMN, I be pimpin'!
x. Floss daily - Yes, actually. Nothin' says lovin' like cutting into your gums every night.
x. Own a webcam - I own a /broken/ web cam.
x. Ever get off the damn computer - If you're "on" your computer, you need a girlfriend IMMEDIATELY.
x. Sprechen sie deutsche - NEIN!
x. Habla espanol - Sí, un poco. Me encantan las canciones de Shakira. <3 <3 <3 (corazon corazon corazon)
Have u/do u/do u have... (Z edit: you. YOU. TWO EXTRA LETTERS YOU LAZY SACK.)
x. Considered a life of crime - Every day!
x. Considered being a hooker - Why be a hooker when you can donate blood plasma?
x. Considered being a pimp - I've been a pimp for Halloween.
x. Are you psycho - Have you are you psycho? Do you are you psycho? Do you have are you psycho? This question does not fit here.
x. Split personalities - Only split hairs.
x. Obsessive - Too lazy to be obsessive. 2 legit 2 quit. THAT is a valid use of netspeak right there.
x. Obsessive compulsive - Mildly. I'm also Original Character.
x. Panic - Only when the Pez runs low.
x. Anxiety - The elves in the attic make me anxious.
x. Depressed - I'm sad that I'm flying.
x. Suicidal - Do I qualify as suicidal if I'm trying to kill my clone?
x. Obsessed with hate - "hate: n (Japanese) the end; the extremity; the limit(s); the result." Hmm, maybe.
x. If you could be anywhere, where would you be - I would be.
x. What are you listening to - Super angst!
x. Can you do anything freakish with your body - It would be freakish if I could do anything *without* my body.
x. Chicken or fish - Chicken, cooked. Fish, raw. The yin and the yang.
x. Do you have a favorite animal - Jack Black.
x. Current clothes - Yes. Wait... okay, yes.
x. Current mood - Shifty.
x. Current taste - Captain Crunch. Cap'n Crunch? Rear Admiral Crunch. PIRATE CRUNCH.
x. Current hair - Mine.
x. Current annoyance - MTV: my constant annoyance.
x. Current smell - Roadkill fresh.
x. Current thing I ought to be doing - Shaving the dogs. Wait, no, that's what I ought not be doing. I always get the two confused.
x. Current desktop picture - Risky, from Omishi Magical Theater Risky Safety, aka TEH CUTE! I blame neherenia.
x. Current favorite group - U2.
x. Current book - The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (it's a COMIC book), and I just JUST started The Gods Themselves by Asimov.
x. Current DVD in player - Legaia: Duel Saga, as my DVD player is my PS2, and if kayli_kender is reading this, the game rules. I think so, anyway. If you liked the first, you'll probably like this one. If you ever get back on AIM, I can bombard you with details.
x. Current refreshment - The crunch.
x. Current worry - Finding a job. Oh, such woe. "The broken dreams index, or BDI, is calculated by the number of ramen noodle packets consumed in 30 days divided by the number of monthly plasma donations."
x. Current crush - Broken dreams, crushed dreams, close enough.
x. Current favorite celebrity - Anyone NOT DOING A GAP AD.
x. Drink - Drink what?
x. Color - The one. You know, the fourth primary color. Wink wink.
x. Shoes - Boots. They's MEN'S boots, pa! Ain't ya proud?
x. Candy - [] [] [] []
x. TV show - JUSTICE LEAGUE shiny eyes *_* and Futurama for now, though I've been pining for Babylon 5 lately.
x. Movie - You don't want me to list my favorite movies, unless you enjoy serious head trauma.
x. Dance - Dance Revolution.
Are you...
x. Understanding - Yes. No, really.
x. Open-minded - I'd like to think so.
x. Insecure - I always buckle my seat belt.
x. Interesting - You tell me, punk-ass Joe.
x. Hungry - Hungry Hippos!
x. Friendly - That's what I put in my job application.
x. Smart - In theory, yes. In practice, almost never.
x. Moody - Moody like Mad-Eye, fo' shizzle dizzle.
x. Childish - In a good way or a bad way?
x. Independent - Contractor. Wait, I keep forgetting this isn't word association.
x. Hard working - If I'm motivated to be such, then yes.
x. Organized - I'm more into disorganized crime, really.
x. Healthy - More like haggard. I need to go on a diet. Not a "lose weight" diet, but a "don't kill yourself with bad food now" diet.
x. Emotionally stable - It's where the My Little Ponies live.
x. Shy - So very not shy.
x. Difficult - I generally set the mode to "normal" if not "easy."
x. Attractive - I've been told by several people that I look sexy in my man clothes. UNF manclothes.
x. Bored easily - Well, I couldn't finish this survey in one sitting. Draw your own conclusions.
x. Thirsty - for MORE!
x. Responsible - Not when it comes to myself, but I try to be responsible when others are involved (though being a flake can get in the way).
x. Sad - Yes, I've been listening to Dido.
x. Happy - Yes, I've been listening to Dido.
x. Trusting - When it comes to the important stuff, yes.
x. Talkative - It varies with my company/food intake.
x. Unique - I have one of 18,000 black shirts that read "You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same." No, NO, I'M LYING. I don't have that shirt! I was pointing out the irony!!
x. Needy - Sometimes the oh-two tells me I'm too dependent on it.
Who do you want to...
x. Kill - If you kill, the elves win.
x. Slap - Loads of people, none of whom I know personally.
x. Look like - Z.
x. Be like - Ideal Z.
x. Talk to offline - Someone on the other end of a fast food drive-thru speaker.
On you...
x. Name - [[CENSORED BY THE FCC]]
x. Nicknames - Z (my favorite, w00t), Stace, Commander, BigMe, Dojo, Mariachi (maracas!), la Zed, El Z, El Stacio, La Stacia, Zorro, Zorro-el, etc. (whatever happened to Zoods?)
x. Hair color - I am fucked up. I am seeing some SHIT. I bet this is how dogs see.
x. Birthday - Christmas, the holy day of Sweet Monkey Jesus, 1982... and when I call someone a sweet monkey, you can bet it's a compliment.
x. Eye color - Blue-y-green-ish gray... Hazel. They're hazel.
x. Siblings - One. A sister. You may have heard of her.
x. How do you describe yourself - Either in words, or by KILLING YOU WITH MY EYES.
x. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend - Wasn't this question asked already? Ooo, wait, I see! Someone's coming on to me! Well, I'm flattered, but you're not my type. You have incoherent sentence structure and bad spelling.
On friends...
x. Best friend(s) - mko, duh. See question one.
x. Friend(s) you go to for advice - The elves. The elves in the goddamned attic I've mentioned half a dozen times already.
x. Friend(s) you have the most fun with - I have fun with all of them. That's why they're my friends.
x. Friend(s) you've dreamt about - Probably most of them.
x. Friend(s) your tell secrets to - Various misc etc.
x. Chocolate milk or hot chocolate - Both.
x. McDonalds or Burger King - Judging from what you've read in this survey alone and what you know of me, do you really think I'm THAT picky about food?
x. Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend - How about the perfect animal trainer?
x. Sweet or sour - Saucy.
x. Root Beer or Dr. Pepper - I'm down with ol' DP.
x. Sappy/action/comedy/horror - Haruka/Michiru/lesbians/unf. Wait, what was the question?
x. Cats or dogs - Lizards.
x. Ocean or pool - The sea. I ain't never heard of no Chicken of the Pool, have you?
x. Cooler Ranch or Nacho Cheesier - Again with the food/picky-ness.
x. Mud or Jell-O wrestling - Can't I just eat the Jell-O?
x. With or without ice-cubes - Even without, there's still not enough water to engulf all the land on earth. Or are you talking about drinks?
x. Shine or rain - Rain. I live in Phoenix, we've already got shine up the ass.
x. Winter/Summer/Autumn/Spring - Why must the seasons compete like this?
x. Vanilla or Chocolate - Both. Together. Like ebony and ivory.
x. Snowboarding or skiing - Fucking. Hate. Snow. I think. It doesn't snow in Phoenix, EVER, but what I can remember from other cities I don't like.
x. Cake or cookies - What's with the constantly making me choose between delicious edible food-stuffs?? It's /so cruel/!
x. Cereal or toast - I mean, they're both part of a balanced breakfast, aren't they?
x. Gloves or mittens - Gloves with the fingers cut off. Hobo-chic.
x. Eyes open or closed - They can do both.
x. Fly or breathe under water - I wanna be a superhero. I want to fly so high.
x. Bunk bed or water bed - Futon.
x. Chewing gum or hard candy - Both. Also, Pez.
x. Motor boat or sailboat - Pirate ship. How else will Nikki and I become fabulous pirates by age 30?
x. Lights on or off - Off, all other electronic devices on.
What did any of that have to do with friends?
What's your favorite...
x. Number - 42
x. Holiday - Halloween
x. Radio station - I have six that I cannot live without.
x. Place - Your mom. Or maybe the west coast.
x. Flower - The kind with venom glands.
x. Scent - Venomous flowers.