Trouble you say? Ha! Does a yuck pee in the woods?
I have been busier than a 15 year-old boy with a free hustler magazine. And not in that way, unfortunately (in fact, I have been so fucking busy, stressed and tired that there has been absolutely no time for anything pleasure related. Damn you work! Damn you!)
But I was able to take a 24 hour whirlwind trip upstate with Mr. Yuck. One of my bosses has a house upstate, and has some of her drawings and a sculpture stored there that she needed to bring to the city for an upcoming show. Knowing that Mr.Yuck and I were planning on taking a day trip upstate, my boss saw the opportunity to ask a favor of me. She offered (nay, begged) to let us stay the night at her country house, so that we could pick up her art work and bring it back to the city for her. I find that most of her generosity is conditional like that. But it was nice to be able to stay overnight in the country, and her house was very cozy.
After work on Friday we hopped in the yuck mobile, the dogs happily curled up in the roomy back seat (can you imagine that two dogs, weighing 60lbs and 85lbs. can comfortably fit in the back seat? I fucking love the yuck mobile, even though it totally screwed us on the way home, but that bit of the story I'll tell you later, be patient). On Saturday morning we took the dogs on a nice hike. I have to say, there aren't too many things more pleasing than watching city dogs run and play in the country.
The weather was dramatic and beautiful: sunny one moment, clouds and drizzle for 8 minutes, then sunny again, then full on rain, then sun again, then snow. To be honest, the day was near perfect. I didn't even mind the rain.
********************
But here I would like to take a moment to warn all you ladies about something. For future reference, file this information in your brain under "peeing, woods" (I'm not sure what that would be in the dewey decimal system, sorry):
IMPORTANT: when peeing in the woods, always ALWAYS check for thorny twigs behind you before you squat!!!! Do not just swiftly pass a glance behind you as you drop trou; really look to make sure. Sometimes thorny twigs stick out at odd angles and are hard to see, I know from experience.
I learned this lesson the hard way, and now I have a nice gash on my left ass cheek (and that's my favorite ass cheek, too!). I have a cut butt. Butt-cut. I'm afraid that will be my new nick-name. So ladies, next time you're about to pop a squat in the woods, stop and remember the story of Old Yuck Butt-cut and the Haunted Thorny Twig.
********************
By 5 we were on our way home with Mr Yuck at the wheel of the yuck mobile, peacefully sleeping dogs in the back, yummy hot chocolate, and me, a tired, waxing philosophical Yuck thinking: rain and butt cut aside, it was a lovely stress-free day... until... until... the wheels jerk to the left and we very narrowly miss hitting the car beside us. Mr. Yuck shouts "oh my god!" and we quickly pull over to side of the road. Very scary. We were just a few yards from the exit to a rest stop, so thinking that we have a flat, we slowly drive on the shoulder of the road into the rest-stop. No flat tire. We drive around the parking area, the car seems fine, and we have no idea what the fuck happened, so we drive back onto the interstate. Bad idea. After about 2 minutes the wheels jerk again and we pull over. This time we are nowhere near any exit, and we know that the car is definitely not ok, and that we won't be driving any farther.
This is not the first time I've been stuck or stalled on the side of the road, quite a few childhood trips involved stalled cars having to be pushed, flat tires, long walks to the nearest gas station or tow trucks. But I am glad that Mr. Yuck and I are mellow, calm people. There were no hysterics, no arguing, no tears. I can't imagine a better person to be with in a situation like this.
This type of thing is one of my biggest fears when we travel with the dogs. It's weird, I'm not so worried about being hurt or killed as I am worried about what will happen with the dogs if something happens to me. I won't even write about all the terrible scenes and situations that have played out in my head. Nanook is easily spooked and very wary of strangers; she is more than likely to bite someone if she feels threatened. If I were unconscious or injured, I just don't know how she would act; they would probably euthanize her. Ok enough bad thoughts....
But thank goodness we weren't in an accident, and thank goodness for cell phone reception on the interstate. 15 years ago this would've been a much different affair. We called the auto emergency service that Mr. Yuck is signed up with, and after an hour wait, a local tow truck came. Mr. Yuck's dog, Max, was scared but very well behaved. Luckily I brought Nanook's muzzle, (I always bring the muzzle for fear of this exact situation) because she was very scared and barked at the tow truck driver. He was a nice, funny guy who I'm sure is used to dealing with hysterical folks, barking dogs, screaming babies and the like. He said he used to be a roadie for the Ramones. We were about 70 miles away from home, but with the dogs, no car rental places anywhere nearby, no dog-friendly motels, and nobody able to come pick us up (I called my boss,she has a car but she was very reluctant in offering to drive up and not really comprehending the difficulty of the situation, saying that her car was packed to the gills with stuff), so the $219 tow all the way back to the city was our only option.
All in all, the whole thing turned into an adventure that I will never forget. Not good, not terrible, but totally surreal. Mr. Yuck rode in the tow truck, and I got to stay with the dogs in the yuck mobile, perched atop the flat bed of the tow truck. That part was actually pretty awesome. I listened to the radio, smoking and singing along, laughing and pointing at the little cars below. (Also, although I thought our tow truck guy was pretty cool, I was silently praying that whatever kind of crazy, drug-filled life-style he had lived in his good ol' punk rock days hadn't compromised his competence.) By this point I had completely forgotten about my butt cut. Up so high above all the traffic, I kinda felt like a princess in a caravan.
We made it back to the city by 10:30 and we were dropped off at an auto repair shop in chelsea. I thought we'd have to walk the 20 or so blocks home with the dogs and all our stuff, but my boss and her boyfriend did come through a bit in the end. It may be partly because of the fact that I told her I was going to have to leave her art work in the yuck mobile, which was going to be parked on the street outside the repair shop. Call it incentive. They both came in their own cars, and drove us the twenty blocks home. Mr. Yuck and his dog rode in my boss's boyfriend's car, and I rode in the passenger seat of my boss's car with an 85lb. muzzled Nanook on my lap. It's a good thing Nanook likes my boss because otherwise I would've had to walk home with her in the cold.
Turns out the yuck mobile has a transmission problem. It sounds like it's not an expensive thing to fix, so hopefully she'll be fixed up soon.
It was an exhausting night. Any release of stress that I gained on the trip was soured by the breakdown. I still love that car though. Tomorrow it's back to the busy-ass-stressful-crap-no-end-in-sight week for me.
But I was able to take a 24 hour whirlwind trip upstate with Mr. Yuck. One of my bosses has a house upstate, and has some of her drawings and a sculpture stored there that she needed to bring to the city for an upcoming show. Knowing that Mr.Yuck and I were planning on taking a day trip upstate, my boss saw the opportunity to ask a favor of me. She offered (nay, begged) to let us stay the night at her country house, so that we could pick up her art work and bring it back to the city for her. I find that most of her generosity is conditional like that. But it was nice to be able to stay overnight in the country, and her house was very cozy.
After work on Friday we hopped in the yuck mobile, the dogs happily curled up in the roomy back seat (can you imagine that two dogs, weighing 60lbs and 85lbs. can comfortably fit in the back seat? I fucking love the yuck mobile, even though it totally screwed us on the way home, but that bit of the story I'll tell you later, be patient). On Saturday morning we took the dogs on a nice hike. I have to say, there aren't too many things more pleasing than watching city dogs run and play in the country.
The weather was dramatic and beautiful: sunny one moment, clouds and drizzle for 8 minutes, then sunny again, then full on rain, then sun again, then snow. To be honest, the day was near perfect. I didn't even mind the rain.
********************
But here I would like to take a moment to warn all you ladies about something. For future reference, file this information in your brain under "peeing, woods" (I'm not sure what that would be in the dewey decimal system, sorry):
IMPORTANT: when peeing in the woods, always ALWAYS check for thorny twigs behind you before you squat!!!! Do not just swiftly pass a glance behind you as you drop trou; really look to make sure. Sometimes thorny twigs stick out at odd angles and are hard to see, I know from experience.
I learned this lesson the hard way, and now I have a nice gash on my left ass cheek (and that's my favorite ass cheek, too!). I have a cut butt. Butt-cut. I'm afraid that will be my new nick-name. So ladies, next time you're about to pop a squat in the woods, stop and remember the story of Old Yuck Butt-cut and the Haunted Thorny Twig.
********************
By 5 we were on our way home with Mr Yuck at the wheel of the yuck mobile, peacefully sleeping dogs in the back, yummy hot chocolate, and me, a tired, waxing philosophical Yuck thinking: rain and butt cut aside, it was a lovely stress-free day... until... until... the wheels jerk to the left and we very narrowly miss hitting the car beside us. Mr. Yuck shouts "oh my god!" and we quickly pull over to side of the road. Very scary. We were just a few yards from the exit to a rest stop, so thinking that we have a flat, we slowly drive on the shoulder of the road into the rest-stop. No flat tire. We drive around the parking area, the car seems fine, and we have no idea what the fuck happened, so we drive back onto the interstate. Bad idea. After about 2 minutes the wheels jerk again and we pull over. This time we are nowhere near any exit, and we know that the car is definitely not ok, and that we won't be driving any farther.
This is not the first time I've been stuck or stalled on the side of the road, quite a few childhood trips involved stalled cars having to be pushed, flat tires, long walks to the nearest gas station or tow trucks. But I am glad that Mr. Yuck and I are mellow, calm people. There were no hysterics, no arguing, no tears. I can't imagine a better person to be with in a situation like this.
This type of thing is one of my biggest fears when we travel with the dogs. It's weird, I'm not so worried about being hurt or killed as I am worried about what will happen with the dogs if something happens to me. I won't even write about all the terrible scenes and situations that have played out in my head. Nanook is easily spooked and very wary of strangers; she is more than likely to bite someone if she feels threatened. If I were unconscious or injured, I just don't know how she would act; they would probably euthanize her. Ok enough bad thoughts....
But thank goodness we weren't in an accident, and thank goodness for cell phone reception on the interstate. 15 years ago this would've been a much different affair. We called the auto emergency service that Mr. Yuck is signed up with, and after an hour wait, a local tow truck came. Mr. Yuck's dog, Max, was scared but very well behaved. Luckily I brought Nanook's muzzle, (I always bring the muzzle for fear of this exact situation) because she was very scared and barked at the tow truck driver. He was a nice, funny guy who I'm sure is used to dealing with hysterical folks, barking dogs, screaming babies and the like. He said he used to be a roadie for the Ramones. We were about 70 miles away from home, but with the dogs, no car rental places anywhere nearby, no dog-friendly motels, and nobody able to come pick us up (I called my boss,she has a car but she was very reluctant in offering to drive up and not really comprehending the difficulty of the situation, saying that her car was packed to the gills with stuff), so the $219 tow all the way back to the city was our only option.
All in all, the whole thing turned into an adventure that I will never forget. Not good, not terrible, but totally surreal. Mr. Yuck rode in the tow truck, and I got to stay with the dogs in the yuck mobile, perched atop the flat bed of the tow truck. That part was actually pretty awesome. I listened to the radio, smoking and singing along, laughing and pointing at the little cars below. (Also, although I thought our tow truck guy was pretty cool, I was silently praying that whatever kind of crazy, drug-filled life-style he had lived in his good ol' punk rock days hadn't compromised his competence.) By this point I had completely forgotten about my butt cut. Up so high above all the traffic, I kinda felt like a princess in a caravan.
We made it back to the city by 10:30 and we were dropped off at an auto repair shop in chelsea. I thought we'd have to walk the 20 or so blocks home with the dogs and all our stuff, but my boss and her boyfriend did come through a bit in the end. It may be partly because of the fact that I told her I was going to have to leave her art work in the yuck mobile, which was going to be parked on the street outside the repair shop. Call it incentive. They both came in their own cars, and drove us the twenty blocks home. Mr. Yuck and his dog rode in my boss's boyfriend's car, and I rode in the passenger seat of my boss's car with an 85lb. muzzled Nanook on my lap. It's a good thing Nanook likes my boss because otherwise I would've had to walk home with her in the cold.
Turns out the yuck mobile has a transmission problem. It sounds like it's not an expensive thing to fix, so hopefully she'll be fixed up soon.
It was an exhausting night. Any release of stress that I gained on the trip was soured by the breakdown. I still love that car though. Tomorrow it's back to the busy-ass-stressful-crap-no-end-in-sight week for me.