Petrelli, what the hell were you smoking?
1. What's your girlfriend’s favorite color?
Answer: Mostly red these days, pink here and there.
2. What's your girlfriend’s favorite city to visit?
Answer: Paris. You dipshit.
3. What's your girlfriend’s favorite vacation destination?
Answer: Vegas. You shouldn't go there, your Goodness'll be compromised. And we wouldn't want that, now would we?
4. What's your girlfriend’s favorite restaurant?
Answer: In New York, it was 2 West. In L.A., it's Spago. I don't give a flying fuck what it is in Malibu.
5. What's your girlfriend’s favorite type of food?
Answer: Chocolate.
6. What's your girlfriend’s favorite home-cooked meal?
Answer: Her Dad's chicken. Nothing tops it.
7. What's your girlfriend’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Ice Cream and Kahlua.
8. What's your girlfriend’s favorite holiday?
Answer: Christmas. It's all about the presents. I would think this'd be the easiest question.
9. What's your girlfriend’s most dreaded holiday?
Answer: Father’s Day
10. Who's your girlfriend’s best friend?
Answer: Me. You wish it was Lorelai.
11. Who's your girlfriend’s favorite relative?
Answer: There isn't one. They're all alright. Except for Carter. That raging fuckup.
12. What's your girlfriend’s favorite clothing store?
Answer: Just go with Neiman Marcus. Seriously.
13. What size shirt/blouse does your girlfriend wear?
Answer: Small. She won't let herself be anything else.
14. What size pants/skirt does your girlfriend wear?
Answer: Small. Do you realize she's going to think you think she's fat?
15. What size suit/dress does your girlfriend wear?
Answer: 4. What the fuck is it, you don't like sex?
16. What size shoe does your girlfriend wear?
Answer: 7. I wish I didn't know this.
17. What's your girlfriend’s favorite thing for YOU to wear?
Answer: I won't answer this.
18. What's your girlfriend’s favorite day of the week?
Answer: Saturdays. It used to be Fridays, but that was back when we still had to suffer through a school week.
19. What's the most relaxing thing for your girlfriend?
Answer: The baths. She takes enough, I know you've seen her hole up in the bathroom enough times. Christ, Petrelli.
20. What's most stressful for your girlfriend?
Answer: You. For now, at least.
21. What's your girlfriend’s most dreaded chore?
Answer: Most of them. Tops being the bathroom. I'm sure she suckers you into doing all that shit for her and thensome.
22. What's your girlfriend’s pet peeve?
Answer: "Miles. He’s a pet and he’s a peeve." - Aren't you goddamn witty. I'll take discrimination for a hundred, Alex.
23. What's the one thing your girlfriend has always wanted?
Answer: Her mother to fuck off. I'd like that too.
24. Who's your girlfriend’s favorite actor?
Answer: Patrick Dempsey. Although I don't see why. You know, if this thing had a point system, Petrelli? You'd be in the negatives right now.
25. What's your girlfriend’s favorite movie?
Answer: The Little Mermaid. Another thing I wish I didn't know.
26. Who's your girlfriend’s favorite artist?
Answer: "Jimmy Choo. He does shoes." - The wit continues. So you're basically calling her uncultured and vapid. This is nice. It's Georgia O' Keeffe.
27. Who's your girlfriend’s favorite musician?
Answer: Your Mom. ... I know, I don't fucking get it either.
28. What type of music does your girlfriend like the best?
Answer: Rock. As she should.
29. What is your girlfriend’s favorite way of making love?
Answer: I shouldn't answer this.
30. How often per month or week does your girlfriend like to make love?
Answer: See above answer.
31. Who is your girlfriend’s favorite author?
Answer: "Cosmo" - There you go again. Don't you live with her? Has something happened and I just haven't been called? Greg Behrendt.
32. What's your girlfriend’s all-time favorite book?
Answer: He's Just Not That Into You. I've seen too much of that fucking book.
33. What type of books does your girlfriend like to read?
Answer: Magazines.
34. What is your girlfriend’s favorite spectator sport?
Answer: It used to be football. For reasons I won't talk about. A sad period in both our lives. Her to live, me to fucking watch.
35. Who is your girlfriend’s favorite sports hero?
Answer: "I haven’t a clue" - I know. ... But this time, it's fine. There isn't one.
36. What's your girlfriend’s favorite sports team?
Answer: There isn't one. Give her shiny eye candy to gawk at, she's fine.
37. What is your girlfriend’s favorite hobby?
Answer: Spending ridiculous amounts of money.
38. At what temperature does your girlfriend like the thermostat set?
Answer: "71ish" - Holy shit, you got something right.
39. What is your girlfriend’s favorite topic of discussion?
Answer: "Miles is a tool" - Don't you have anything better? Chat about how awesome she is, it'll get you places.
40. If your girlfriend had an extra $100 per week to spend, what would your girlfriend choose to spend it on?
Answer: She's got money to spare, the fuck would she need a hundred bucks for?
41. If your girlfriend was given one million dollars and had to spend it within one week, what would be the first high ticket item your girlfriend would buy?
Answer: "Shoes. Trust me when I say this is big ticket." - I've figured it out. You're joking. I feel better now. She'd want something she could make an investment in.
42. Which type of vacation does your girlfriend prefer?
a. Sun, fun, and relax
b. Sightseeing
c. Outdoor adventure
Answer: A (Right!)
43. The best type of gift for my girlfriend is something:
a. Practical
b. Sentimental
c. Just what they asked for
d. A surprise
Answer: D (Right again!)
44. My girlfriend prefers to wear/buy:
a. Gold
b. Silver
c. Platinum
Answer: Platinum (Fucking impressive!)
You've got a long way to go.
Try asking about some of this. You might actually get help.
Answer: Mostly red these days, pink here and there.
2. What's your girlfriend’s favorite city to visit?
Answer: Paris. You dipshit.
3. What's your girlfriend’s favorite vacation destination?
Answer: Vegas. You shouldn't go there, your Goodness'll be compromised. And we wouldn't want that, now would we?
4. What's your girlfriend’s favorite restaurant?
Answer: In New York, it was 2 West. In L.A., it's Spago. I don't give a flying fuck what it is in Malibu.
5. What's your girlfriend’s favorite type of food?
Answer: Chocolate.
6. What's your girlfriend’s favorite home-cooked meal?
Answer: Her Dad's chicken. Nothing tops it.
7. What's your girlfriend’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Ice Cream and Kahlua.
8. What's your girlfriend’s favorite holiday?
Answer: Christmas. It's all about the presents. I would think this'd be the easiest question.
9. What's your girlfriend’s most dreaded holiday?
Answer: Father’s Day
10. Who's your girlfriend’s best friend?
Answer: Me. You wish it was Lorelai.
11. Who's your girlfriend’s favorite relative?
Answer: There isn't one. They're all alright. Except for Carter. That raging fuckup.
12. What's your girlfriend’s favorite clothing store?
Answer: Just go with Neiman Marcus. Seriously.
13. What size shirt/blouse does your girlfriend wear?
Answer: Small. She won't let herself be anything else.
14. What size pants/skirt does your girlfriend wear?
Answer: Small. Do you realize she's going to think you think she's fat?
15. What size suit/dress does your girlfriend wear?
Answer: 4. What the fuck is it, you don't like sex?
16. What size shoe does your girlfriend wear?
Answer: 7. I wish I didn't know this.
17. What's your girlfriend’s favorite thing for YOU to wear?
Answer: I won't answer this.
18. What's your girlfriend’s favorite day of the week?
Answer: Saturdays. It used to be Fridays, but that was back when we still had to suffer through a school week.
19. What's the most relaxing thing for your girlfriend?
Answer: The baths. She takes enough, I know you've seen her hole up in the bathroom enough times. Christ, Petrelli.
20. What's most stressful for your girlfriend?
Answer: You. For now, at least.
21. What's your girlfriend’s most dreaded chore?
Answer: Most of them. Tops being the bathroom. I'm sure she suckers you into doing all that shit for her and thensome.
22. What's your girlfriend’s pet peeve?
Answer: "Miles. He’s a pet and he’s a peeve." - Aren't you goddamn witty. I'll take discrimination for a hundred, Alex.
23. What's the one thing your girlfriend has always wanted?
Answer: Her mother to fuck off. I'd like that too.
24. Who's your girlfriend’s favorite actor?
Answer: Patrick Dempsey. Although I don't see why. You know, if this thing had a point system, Petrelli? You'd be in the negatives right now.
25. What's your girlfriend’s favorite movie?
Answer: The Little Mermaid. Another thing I wish I didn't know.
26. Who's your girlfriend’s favorite artist?
Answer: "Jimmy Choo. He does shoes." - The wit continues. So you're basically calling her uncultured and vapid. This is nice. It's Georgia O' Keeffe.
27. Who's your girlfriend’s favorite musician?
Answer: Your Mom. ... I know, I don't fucking get it either.
28. What type of music does your girlfriend like the best?
Answer: Rock. As she should.
29. What is your girlfriend’s favorite way of making love?
Answer: I shouldn't answer this.
30. How often per month or week does your girlfriend like to make love?
Answer: See above answer.
31. Who is your girlfriend’s favorite author?
Answer: "Cosmo" - There you go again. Don't you live with her? Has something happened and I just haven't been called? Greg Behrendt.
32. What's your girlfriend’s all-time favorite book?
Answer: He's Just Not That Into You. I've seen too much of that fucking book.
33. What type of books does your girlfriend like to read?
Answer: Magazines.
34. What is your girlfriend’s favorite spectator sport?
Answer: It used to be football. For reasons I won't talk about. A sad period in both our lives. Her to live, me to fucking watch.
35. Who is your girlfriend’s favorite sports hero?
Answer: "I haven’t a clue" - I know. ... But this time, it's fine. There isn't one.
36. What's your girlfriend’s favorite sports team?
Answer: There isn't one. Give her shiny eye candy to gawk at, she's fine.
37. What is your girlfriend’s favorite hobby?
Answer: Spending ridiculous amounts of money.
38. At what temperature does your girlfriend like the thermostat set?
Answer: "71ish" - Holy shit, you got something right.
39. What is your girlfriend’s favorite topic of discussion?
Answer: "Miles is a tool" - Don't you have anything better? Chat about how awesome she is, it'll get you places.
40. If your girlfriend had an extra $100 per week to spend, what would your girlfriend choose to spend it on?
Answer: She's got money to spare, the fuck would she need a hundred bucks for?
41. If your girlfriend was given one million dollars and had to spend it within one week, what would be the first high ticket item your girlfriend would buy?
Answer: "Shoes. Trust me when I say this is big ticket." - I've figured it out. You're joking. I feel better now. She'd want something she could make an investment in.
42. Which type of vacation does your girlfriend prefer?
a. Sun, fun, and relax
b. Sightseeing
c. Outdoor adventure
Answer: A (Right!)
43. The best type of gift for my girlfriend is something:
a. Practical
b. Sentimental
c. Just what they asked for
d. A surprise
Answer: D (Right again!)
44. My girlfriend prefers to wear/buy:
a. Gold
b. Silver
c. Platinum
Answer: Platinum (Fucking impressive!)
You've got a long way to go.
Try asking about some of this. You might actually get help.