Story -Introspection: Nathan
Title: Introspection: Nathan
Author: Fabrisse
Pairing: Peter - Nathan
Rating: Teen for mentions of sex and other complex ideas
Word Count: 674
Category: Drama
Prompt: Day 35 at theyreitalian
Spoilers: Pre Season 1
Summary: Nathan’s moments of introspection
Notes: gileswench was kind enough to beta for me.
Prompt quote: I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother and I found all three. ~Author Unknown
Nearly ten years of daily obligatory devotion, weekly Mass with his parents when he was home, and various weddings, funerals, and baptisms convinced Nathan that there was no need for religion in his life. All the standing, sitting, and kneeling didn't even constitute a good workout.
The question of a soul, though, that was still open. Human beings had so many components, maybe there was a spiritual one among them. But he couldn't be entirely certain that it was exclusive to humans.
Animals sure as hell had personalities. Zeus had been a huge blue roan at one of his summer camps. That horse took an instant dislike to Nathan and bit his arm every chance he got. If Zeus had a soul, it was a twisted one. But how many humans could Nathan say that about, too?
Nathan found his spirit in flying. There were times when he felt the plane got in the way. But when he was in the sky chasing the horizon, high enough to see the curve of the earth, then he had no doubts about his soul - it was the part of him singing.
Earthbound, he found something similar in the knife-edge moments before climax. He never understood the guys who wanted to rush to orgasm. For him fighting it off, looking into someone’s eyes, feeling the arch and clench and sweat - that was his moment of deepest connection with all the world and everything living in it.
God was also an open question.
If God was the thing transcendent, then He hadn’t revealed Himself to Nathan Petrelli. Religion didn’t appeal to him. He liked the music well enough, though he thought the Protestants got the better end of that deal.
Nathan read about God. The idea of a distant father was familiar to him, but he couldn’t imagine even a bad parent being willing to sacrifice a child so easily. Not just Jesus, either, God had tried to get Abraham to slaughter Isaac. And if God was so interested in souls, then he really should have rethought Noah’s ark.
The Koran was more coherent, at least in translation, but Nathan knew he wasn’t catching the nuances.
Going home for sabbath dinner with Max Josephson made him think. The prayers over the bread and wine, the simple sharing of laughter over a meal, the jokes about sex being a blessing, that was a God he could understand. A God who had a small place in every moment of his people’s lives was much more comprehensible.
Overall, though, Nathan felt God was something (or was it someOne?) he could do without. Maybe a great ineffable had told the Big Bang to start, but without proof Nathan chose to believe in Physics.
Brotherhood remained an open question for many years. At his schools the Chaplain would exhort them to treat their classmates like brothers. There were little clubs and societies that promoted the ideal of brotherhood based on the education they were given and the values inculcated.
But when he was twelve and a half, his parents had presented him with a real brother, and he realized how shallow all the exhortations were. He rarely got to see Peter before the kid turned four. Every time there was something new and wondrous about him - a tooth, or walking, or talking.
When Nathan came home to spend the summer break before starting at the Academy’s Plebe summer training, he got to know his brother for the first time. Peter had enthusiasms like dolphins and penguins, and hates like string beans that were larger than life. He loved Nathan larger than life, too.
It was humbling, not that Nathan was familiar with humble, just knowing there was someone who would admire you just for existing. Nathan found himself trying to live up to the shiny pride he saw in Peter’s eyes and found himself becoming a better man by doing so.
Maybe he had a soul. Maybe there was a God. But all Nathan needed to make his world right was his brother.
Author: Fabrisse
Pairing: Peter - Nathan
Rating: Teen for mentions of sex and other complex ideas
Word Count: 674
Category: Drama
Prompt: Day 35 at theyreitalian
Spoilers: Pre Season 1
Summary: Nathan’s moments of introspection
Notes: gileswench was kind enough to beta for me.
Prompt quote: I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother and I found all three. ~Author Unknown
Nearly ten years of daily obligatory devotion, weekly Mass with his parents when he was home, and various weddings, funerals, and baptisms convinced Nathan that there was no need for religion in his life. All the standing, sitting, and kneeling didn't even constitute a good workout.
The question of a soul, though, that was still open. Human beings had so many components, maybe there was a spiritual one among them. But he couldn't be entirely certain that it was exclusive to humans.
Animals sure as hell had personalities. Zeus had been a huge blue roan at one of his summer camps. That horse took an instant dislike to Nathan and bit his arm every chance he got. If Zeus had a soul, it was a twisted one. But how many humans could Nathan say that about, too?
Nathan found his spirit in flying. There were times when he felt the plane got in the way. But when he was in the sky chasing the horizon, high enough to see the curve of the earth, then he had no doubts about his soul - it was the part of him singing.
Earthbound, he found something similar in the knife-edge moments before climax. He never understood the guys who wanted to rush to orgasm. For him fighting it off, looking into someone’s eyes, feeling the arch and clench and sweat - that was his moment of deepest connection with all the world and everything living in it.
God was also an open question.
If God was the thing transcendent, then He hadn’t revealed Himself to Nathan Petrelli. Religion didn’t appeal to him. He liked the music well enough, though he thought the Protestants got the better end of that deal.
Nathan read about God. The idea of a distant father was familiar to him, but he couldn’t imagine even a bad parent being willing to sacrifice a child so easily. Not just Jesus, either, God had tried to get Abraham to slaughter Isaac. And if God was so interested in souls, then he really should have rethought Noah’s ark.
The Koran was more coherent, at least in translation, but Nathan knew he wasn’t catching the nuances.
Going home for sabbath dinner with Max Josephson made him think. The prayers over the bread and wine, the simple sharing of laughter over a meal, the jokes about sex being a blessing, that was a God he could understand. A God who had a small place in every moment of his people’s lives was much more comprehensible.
Overall, though, Nathan felt God was something (or was it someOne?) he could do without. Maybe a great ineffable had told the Big Bang to start, but without proof Nathan chose to believe in Physics.
Brotherhood remained an open question for many years. At his schools the Chaplain would exhort them to treat their classmates like brothers. There were little clubs and societies that promoted the ideal of brotherhood based on the education they were given and the values inculcated.
But when he was twelve and a half, his parents had presented him with a real brother, and he realized how shallow all the exhortations were. He rarely got to see Peter before the kid turned four. Every time there was something new and wondrous about him - a tooth, or walking, or talking.
When Nathan came home to spend the summer break before starting at the Academy’s Plebe summer training, he got to know his brother for the first time. Peter had enthusiasms like dolphins and penguins, and hates like string beans that were larger than life. He loved Nathan larger than life, too.
It was humbling, not that Nathan was familiar with humble, just knowing there was someone who would admire you just for existing. Nathan found himself trying to live up to the shiny pride he saw in Peter’s eyes and found himself becoming a better man by doing so.
Maybe he had a soul. Maybe there was a God. But all Nathan needed to make his world right was his brother.