Woe is me!
This weekend has got off to a bad start. Everyones best friend, Susan Carol Shields, has left for Edinburgh. Now we will not have nearly as much fun and we will never walk to Mugdock park. I am certain that if she wasn't moving away I wouldn't be sitting in my pants and vest at quarter to one in the afternoon drinking coffee whilst still wearing last night's makeup (despite the fact that if Susie hadn't been in Edinburgh she would be working right now, and not able to force me to get dressed and do something both useful and fun)
The only thing I can think of to do is go to the west end, but then of course, I'd have to wear a stupid scarf, pointedly read a novel, not have any fun, and not talk enthusiastically, in a friendly manner, to anyone, for fear of getting Oonagh into trouble. I thought I could go to Kelvingrove and look at some dead animals in boxes, but then I realised there would be alot of young children running around getting that wierd goo that young children produce all over everything, and every other museum is too much effort to get to, except for GOMA, which is in fact a fake museum for people to lazy to get the train to real life museums. People like me.
This evening I am supposed to get the train to Lintlithgow to meet my dad. However I have already decided I am not going as this morning I was woken by:
"Lauren you're a hungover mess. Tidy your room. There is paint downstairs everywhere and you've not painted anything and I got red paint all over me. I'm very annoyed at you. Come to Linlithgow"
I would like to point out that this morning was a RARE Saturday morning where I am NOT hung over. I simply wish to crawl under a rock and die rather than wear an unnecessary scarf and go outside (by the way, I'm sorry if you wear alot of scarves, the scarf thing is actually a defense mechanisim I use after losing my most precious and beautiful Spanish scarf, nothing will ever replace it, it clashed with absolutely everything I owned, I wore it with everything, a tear comes to my eye just thinking about it. Maybe you could post me a similar scarf? It was that ugly mustard colour, with shiny bits and green bits. please post to 21 Douglas Muir Drive, Milngavie)
Also. I know that actually I prefer my room tidy, and actually the carpet does look like its having rabbit children. But I am very tired.
So YES look at how terrible my life has become! I am a shadow of my former self! And nothing will console me!
Woe is me!
The only thing I can think of to do is go to the west end, but then of course, I'd have to wear a stupid scarf, pointedly read a novel, not have any fun, and not talk enthusiastically, in a friendly manner, to anyone, for fear of getting Oonagh into trouble. I thought I could go to Kelvingrove and look at some dead animals in boxes, but then I realised there would be alot of young children running around getting that wierd goo that young children produce all over everything, and every other museum is too much effort to get to, except for GOMA, which is in fact a fake museum for people to lazy to get the train to real life museums. People like me.
This evening I am supposed to get the train to Lintlithgow to meet my dad. However I have already decided I am not going as this morning I was woken by:
"Lauren you're a hungover mess. Tidy your room. There is paint downstairs everywhere and you've not painted anything and I got red paint all over me. I'm very annoyed at you. Come to Linlithgow"
I would like to point out that this morning was a RARE Saturday morning where I am NOT hung over. I simply wish to crawl under a rock and die rather than wear an unnecessary scarf and go outside (by the way, I'm sorry if you wear alot of scarves, the scarf thing is actually a defense mechanisim I use after losing my most precious and beautiful Spanish scarf, nothing will ever replace it, it clashed with absolutely everything I owned, I wore it with everything, a tear comes to my eye just thinking about it. Maybe you could post me a similar scarf? It was that ugly mustard colour, with shiny bits and green bits. please post to 21 Douglas Muir Drive, Milngavie)
Also. I know that actually I prefer my room tidy, and actually the carpet does look like its having rabbit children. But I am very tired.
So YES look at how terrible my life has become! I am a shadow of my former self! And nothing will console me!
Woe is me!