Apr 09, 2005 20:41
You know, Jensen is right. Once upon a time there was a happy little hyper Ivan. Where did she go? I have never been one to give a damn about other people's thought on my pathetic little life, why all of a sudden do I care so much what he thinks? I didnt even care what he thought when we were together, but nmow that we're not, I do. I know I dont want to be with him anymore, I was the one who left him because I didnt want that. But for some reason, I cant get him out of my head. I despise the bastard so much that I practically love the guy. Whats wrong with me? Its not love, I've felt love before, this is more of hatred. But becoming unobsessively hateful towards someone is pretty hard to do once youve already gone past obsessively hateful. iono. . . .I really do need to get over it, I thought I had, but obviously not. I was over it, until I started seeing him around again. Maybe I should go back to ignoring him, that seemed to practically make him disappear from my life. The happy little hyper Ivan has gone into hiding for a while, and Im trying my best to coax her out, but not succeeding thus far, so bear with me for a while.
Mirror, so honest,
show the real me;
not all these lies
that the others see. . . .