I just need light, a light in the dark as I search for the resolution
((this is actually a couple days old from my blog. anywho... carry on...))
so much on my mind. as usual. i am really tired so i am gonna keep it short. (or at least try)
-my papou's funeral was really hard. and i'd rather not write about it. at least not right now im too tired and won't do it justice.
-my dad said something to me that made me really sad. i'd rather not write about that either, though.
-i am always on this quest to figure myself out. i think i am making progress. but am worried at the same time
-and then there is stuff with my mom... that i also don't want to write about. yet is still on my mind
-there is someone i really want to talk to. and i don't think they have any desire to speak to me. and it makes me really sad. and it sucks because they are really the only person i want to talk to about any these things. not to mention i miss them a lot.
in more upbeat things....
-work is actually going really well. apparently the managers really like me? the store manager mandy told me id probs get like 15 or so hours a week, and after my first week she gave me 26... i was like whaaa? thats awesome. then erik left me in charge while he took his lunch the other night. it was kind of terrifying. and i think it ticked off the other girls, one of whom has been there awhile. and then during close he asked me to go around and check the mens side to see if there was anything else the guys needed to do/fix and let him know. i was like uhhh don't put me in that position it is awkward and i don't feel like its my place to be telling them what to do. however, it does make me feel pretty good that they think highly of me. so woot. too bad i still just get paid minimum wage haha
-joanna and britney and i had a lil tutu making party today and that was fun. i really like being crafty. i also bought this really awesome "build a cake" kit that you can make different designs out of cupcakes and put them together to make a sweet cake!!! i am so excited for an opportunity to use them!! i am such. a. dork. i wanna get the other kit too.. then i can make six different cakes. :P
-i am glad everyone is finally back or almost back. the ou folks were getting boring ;)
-my car is back and all fixed. feels like i'm driving a brand new car :) i guess i needed a new battery too. and more air in my tires. in addition to the new transmission and sensor thing. my dad told me i was an expensive kid. that is true. he was laughing when he said it but i still feel bad :/
-i have become addicted to old episodes of one tree hill and the oc. they play 2 hours of each on the soap network (embarrassing, i know) so i DVR them and watch them at night. i am not ashamed. teen dramas are my guilty pleasure.
-this quarter (i guess the summer really) i started reading again and i love it. i just finished this really good book, and am in the middle of reading 2 others. yay for that.
tomorrow is going to be exhausting but fun!!! i am working right up until dinner, and i'm actually going to be late which stinks. i am going to have to bring everything with me (nice outfit to wear to dinner/tutu/overnight stuff) to work which stresses me out.
-work (this will be craziness bc its the last weekend before Christmas, but its a short shift so
-girls dinner for laura's bday!!
-ballerina party!!! (22... tutu... so clever :P)
-sleep over and busting out my onesie footsie jammies ha
alrighty. time for bed.
"Because it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work, faith and belief. And beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead."
so much on my mind. as usual. i am really tired so i am gonna keep it short. (or at least try)
-my papou's funeral was really hard. and i'd rather not write about it. at least not right now im too tired and won't do it justice.
-my dad said something to me that made me really sad. i'd rather not write about that either, though.
-i am always on this quest to figure myself out. i think i am making progress. but am worried at the same time
-and then there is stuff with my mom... that i also don't want to write about. yet is still on my mind
-there is someone i really want to talk to. and i don't think they have any desire to speak to me. and it makes me really sad. and it sucks because they are really the only person i want to talk to about any these things. not to mention i miss them a lot.
in more upbeat things....
-work is actually going really well. apparently the managers really like me? the store manager mandy told me id probs get like 15 or so hours a week, and after my first week she gave me 26... i was like whaaa? thats awesome. then erik left me in charge while he took his lunch the other night. it was kind of terrifying. and i think it ticked off the other girls, one of whom has been there awhile. and then during close he asked me to go around and check the mens side to see if there was anything else the guys needed to do/fix and let him know. i was like uhhh don't put me in that position it is awkward and i don't feel like its my place to be telling them what to do. however, it does make me feel pretty good that they think highly of me. so woot. too bad i still just get paid minimum wage haha
-joanna and britney and i had a lil tutu making party today and that was fun. i really like being crafty. i also bought this really awesome "build a cake" kit that you can make different designs out of cupcakes and put them together to make a sweet cake!!! i am so excited for an opportunity to use them!! i am such. a. dork. i wanna get the other kit too.. then i can make six different cakes. :P
-i am glad everyone is finally back or almost back. the ou folks were getting boring ;)
-my car is back and all fixed. feels like i'm driving a brand new car :) i guess i needed a new battery too. and more air in my tires. in addition to the new transmission and sensor thing. my dad told me i was an expensive kid. that is true. he was laughing when he said it but i still feel bad :/
-i have become addicted to old episodes of one tree hill and the oc. they play 2 hours of each on the soap network (embarrassing, i know) so i DVR them and watch them at night. i am not ashamed. teen dramas are my guilty pleasure.
-this quarter (i guess the summer really) i started reading again and i love it. i just finished this really good book, and am in the middle of reading 2 others. yay for that.
tomorrow is going to be exhausting but fun!!! i am working right up until dinner, and i'm actually going to be late which stinks. i am going to have to bring everything with me (nice outfit to wear to dinner/tutu/overnight stuff) to work which stresses me out.
-work (this will be craziness bc its the last weekend before Christmas, but its a short shift so
-girls dinner for laura's bday!!
-ballerina party!!! (22... tutu... so clever :P)
-sleep over and busting out my onesie footsie jammies ha
alrighty. time for bed.
"Because it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work, faith and belief. And beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead."