(no subject)
i went to his house today to give him his christmas gifts. god damn, that boy has gotten so tan and so ripped. i wanted so badly to just throw my arms around him. i gave him a ride to my side of town. we had fun in the car (not that, you dirty dog), or at least i did. the minute he closed the door and i left, the thoughts started racing through my head. he's going to have dinner alone... two blocks from my house... at the restaurant we ALWAYS eat at. i wonder if the guy who knows us will ask about why he's alone. i wonder what he's gunna be thinking about. and most of all, i wonder if he is holding himself back. i want him to know that he shouldn't deny or brush away whatever feelings he has and talks about that make him want to get back together. thats exactly what he should feel, and he openly admits having them at times... so what's still wrong? what's the delay? i want to tell him but i can't, if we're not supposed to be talking about this stuff. to him: please don't deny whatever feelings you have inside. it's ok to miss me. it's ok to be sad. that's the point isn't it? and if u don't miss me, and your not sad, then this isn't going to work, and we deal with that in a whole different way...... =(