The Upcoming Surgery
Yesterday...
After writing my entry, I threw on the first clean shirt, and pair of pants, I could find (which, surprisingly, went together very well.) And, I was on my way to my therapy appointment.
The day was starting off well. On my way to my appointment, I was thinking about how my day would be spent. I would come home, after pouring out my soul, to my therapist. I would grab a beer, lock myself in my room, and start working away on my afghan. After spending the a few days away from it, I was eager to get back to it. My hands were practically tingling, with pent up croceheting creativity. And, as I got my got my shiny new hook, on Tuesday, I was in the mood, to once again, enter the realm of Happy Hookers. (This clay hook, I will admit, looks a little bit chick-ish. A pale blue, with red flowers on it. But, whatever...it could have fluffy bunnies, on the clay handle. All I am going for, is comfort...not looks.)
Then, as I entered the parking lot, of my therapist's office, I got a phone call. It was from my new orthopedic surgeon.
I don't know if I told you this. So, I will tell it now.
At first inspection of the wound, on the bottom of my foot, this surgeon thought the same thing, everyone else has thought: A granuloma scar. No big deal. It would be a simple surgery...an out-patient procedure.
But, the MRI, I went in for, showed a problem, bigger than he anticipated.
I have a bone infection, in my foot. This infection is why my foot has the wound.
Now, all of a sudden, that 'simple surgery' isn't going to be so simple. I am no longer going in, for an outpatient surgery. I will have to stay at thge hospital. A culture will be taken, of my bone...and I will be put on an 8 week course of antibiotics.
Yesterday, in the phone call from his office, I was told surgery should be done, soon. As soon as October. Originally, it was no big deal. Now, it has to happen ASAP. (He did tell me that I am perfectly fine, going on the cruise.)
TO be honest, I a scared shitless. I know everything will be ok...but still.
And, I am pissed. A bone infection...one that could have been avoided, if my original surgeon hadn't been such an ass. Had my original surgeon just followed protocol, and ordered an MRI, and bone test, following my first surgery, this would have been fixed, long ago.
As for my original surgeon...well, I can say on thing. I FRIGGIN HATE HIM! He has let me suffer, in pain, for damn near 9 months. That is just not right.
Anyway...
I arrived home, at noon, yesterday. And, just as planned, I headed straight for the beer. I went into my room, allowed my fear of a bone infection to consume me, for a few minutes, then grabbed my yarn, and started working.
Yesterday, I was not focused on how much, of my afghan, I could get done. It didn't seem to matter to me. As I pieced the squares together, and worked on treble-crochet panels, I did not feel the sense of urgency, I normally feel, while working with this afghan. Nope. I simply felt at peace. I crocheted, and I allowed myself to get lost, in working with my yarn. I allowed myself the opportunity to escape. I left behind the thought of the upcoming surgery, and entered into my safety zone. I stitched squares together, then framed them, in black yarn. I then stitched these pieces to the afghan.
And you know what?
Here is the amazing thing.
At the end of my time, spent crocheting, I looked at what I had done.
I managed to get quite a bit accomplished.
And, when I was done, I was no longer wrapped up, in the fear of the upcoming surgery. I was fine. Everything was ok.
As for today...
Well, I am off to go get some final things, for the cruise (liquor, and some cruisey-clothes.)
When I get home, I will start to pack my luggage (something I have been promising for days now. What can I say...I'm procrastinating.)
And, once I have my bag all packed up, and ready to go, I will pull out my yarn, and have myself an afternoon of fiber-filled fun. (Hopefully, I can keep my thoughts away from surgery.)
One final thing, before I go...
This morning, as I crawled out of bed, I looked at the slim box, wrapped with chocolate brown paper. Inside this box, is my mother's shawl. She is days away from opening this gift. As I looked at it, I remembered the process of making it. I remembered the change of the flowers...what color they would be, and where they would be placed. I remembered the sense of accomplishment, that came, when I had finished it. I was so proud of myself. I remembered manipulating her, into buying a formal dress, that would go rather well, with her shawl. And now...as I write this, I find that I can hardly wait, until she opens this box, and sees the shawl. I wonder what her reaction will be?
Well...I am off. Breakfast is calling. Homemade waffles, I think.
Happy crocheting!