Souls Without Bodies
I'm listening to The Definitive Stevie Wonder right now. Bertha mentioned that she liked him last night, so I went ahead and bought the album since we didn't have any Stevie in our music collection, if you can believe it. Miss Emily says she likes him, too, so I think this was a good purchase. Anything that makes everyone happy!
Everyone has been such a big help lately, especially Sara ("Nanny Sara"). Bobby has been really difficult lately, throwing lots of tantrums, and if it wasn't for her help I would've snapped many times. Sara is good at not getting ruffled by Bobby's fits. She can turn anything into a game, and I think her calm demeanor helps soothe him.
I still haven't found anyone other than me (Annabelle) who is willing to nurse him, though. I guess that's much too intimate for friends and helpers, something only a mother can do. So when things are really bad and I can't get away I use a couple of visualization techniques to cope. When I'm angry, I picture myself in a green field under a blue sky shooting a big gun at a red and white striped target. Shooting the gun is cathartic, and it keeps me from having intrusive thoughts of harming myself. When I'm overwhelmed or just stressed, I picture myself jogging or riding a bike through the streets of our neighborhood. I don't have the time for exercise that I'd like (or that Sara would like - sorry!), but imaginary exercise does at least help relieve some stress.
Sometimes I wonder where all these souls were before they came to live in my body. Did they have their own bodies? Are they like ghosts? Or did they spring into being fully formed within my mind? I would like to give each of them their own write-up to acknowledge who they are, let them tell their stories. It would also be a kind of memorial for Ellen and Maria. I don't like to think of them as dead. I don't think of them as "integrated" either, though. The only way they are part of me is as memories. I guess I think of them like the girl in The Lovely Bones, existing somewhere else in a state of arrested development (and with that analogy, I suppose I can now say that the time I spent reading that awful book wasn't wasted after all).
Everyone has been such a big help lately, especially Sara ("Nanny Sara"). Bobby has been really difficult lately, throwing lots of tantrums, and if it wasn't for her help I would've snapped many times. Sara is good at not getting ruffled by Bobby's fits. She can turn anything into a game, and I think her calm demeanor helps soothe him.
I still haven't found anyone other than me (Annabelle) who is willing to nurse him, though. I guess that's much too intimate for friends and helpers, something only a mother can do. So when things are really bad and I can't get away I use a couple of visualization techniques to cope. When I'm angry, I picture myself in a green field under a blue sky shooting a big gun at a red and white striped target. Shooting the gun is cathartic, and it keeps me from having intrusive thoughts of harming myself. When I'm overwhelmed or just stressed, I picture myself jogging or riding a bike through the streets of our neighborhood. I don't have the time for exercise that I'd like (or that Sara would like - sorry!), but imaginary exercise does at least help relieve some stress.
Sometimes I wonder where all these souls were before they came to live in my body. Did they have their own bodies? Are they like ghosts? Or did they spring into being fully formed within my mind? I would like to give each of them their own write-up to acknowledge who they are, let them tell their stories. It would also be a kind of memorial for Ellen and Maria. I don't like to think of them as dead. I don't think of them as "integrated" either, though. The only way they are part of me is as memories. I guess I think of them like the girl in The Lovely Bones, existing somewhere else in a state of arrested development (and with that analogy, I suppose I can now say that the time I spent reading that awful book wasn't wasted after all).