Better than Anbesol
Title: Better than Anbesol
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Pairing: Sparrow/Norrington
Rating: Mature for adult sexual content
Length: 461 words
Summary: Jack’s leer deepened. “Who said anything about kissing?”
Notes: The second of two ficlets written for aradiria in summer '05. Anbesol is a registered trademark of Wyeth Consumer Healthcare.
Better than Anbesol
“Jack, for God’s sake, get your head out of the freezer.”
“Bu’ i’ ‘el’ss.”
“I know you claim it helps, but so would Anbesol. It also wastes electricity and attempts to convert the kitchen to an igloo.”
James heard the freezer door click shut and Jack sauntered grudgingly over, scowlish pout drawn on his face as he sat across the table from James. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Suggestions?”
“I’ve said. Numb it here, then get it pulled or drilled.”
Jack’s face told all - exasperation, pain, annoyance, crabbiness, and abject terror. “I will not. And Anbesol numbs my tongue, not the tooth.” With everything else in his expression, Jack still managed a convincing leer.
James rolled his eyes. “Jack, with a tooth like that you wouldn’t want to be kissing anyway.”
Jack’s leer deepened. “Who said anything about kissing?”
“Given that a blow job would certainly be even worse,” James replied with an amused frown.
Jack should have grimaced at that, at least for the sake of appearances, but he didn’t. Jack had never cared much for ‘should-do’s, anyway. “I suppose you’re right,” he muttered, and added, “especially given your considerable endowments…”
“Jack?”
“Yes, dear?”
“Shut up.”
“Why.”
“Because. Actually, I’m surprised you can speak at all, based off of all the wailing you’ve been doing about that tooth of yours.”
“’Because’? Hmh.”
“You think I don’t know you well enough to know how to shut you up?”
Jack snickered. “What, are you going to slide under the table and suck me off?”
“You already have your pants open.”
“How-.”
“Zipper.”
“Oh. Oh, mm. I didn’t actually mean it - I was half - ah - half-joking. God!”
James lifted his head and tried not to hit it on the tabletop-bottom. “Well this is the other half. And it takes your attention off that damned tooth, and was supposed to shut you up. So, shut the fuck up.”
Jack didn’t actually quiet down much, but the noises he made were inarticulate (except for when they were “yes!” and “more!” and “James!”) and in sincere agreement with James’ decision and use-of-tongue. And suction. And… ohgodteeth. Jack almost snapped his neck over the back of the chair when he came, clutching the edge of the table and bucking into James’ mouth and completely distracted from his pained tooth and the related worries. He sunk into the chair and, in a limp sort of semi-paralysis, watched James leave the kitchen.
He returned a few minutes later with a self-satisfied smirk across his face that had nothing to do with the flush of sex still crawling down from Jack’s cheeks. “Get yourself cleaned up and presentable; Timothy Andrews, D.D.S. will see you in an hour. And I’m driving.”
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Pairing: Sparrow/Norrington
Rating: Mature for adult sexual content
Length: 461 words
Summary: Jack’s leer deepened. “Who said anything about kissing?”
Notes: The second of two ficlets written for aradiria in summer '05. Anbesol is a registered trademark of Wyeth Consumer Healthcare.
Better than Anbesol
“Jack, for God’s sake, get your head out of the freezer.”
“Bu’ i’ ‘el’ss.”
“I know you claim it helps, but so would Anbesol. It also wastes electricity and attempts to convert the kitchen to an igloo.”
James heard the freezer door click shut and Jack sauntered grudgingly over, scowlish pout drawn on his face as he sat across the table from James. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Suggestions?”
“I’ve said. Numb it here, then get it pulled or drilled.”
Jack’s face told all - exasperation, pain, annoyance, crabbiness, and abject terror. “I will not. And Anbesol numbs my tongue, not the tooth.” With everything else in his expression, Jack still managed a convincing leer.
James rolled his eyes. “Jack, with a tooth like that you wouldn’t want to be kissing anyway.”
Jack’s leer deepened. “Who said anything about kissing?”
“Given that a blow job would certainly be even worse,” James replied with an amused frown.
Jack should have grimaced at that, at least for the sake of appearances, but he didn’t. Jack had never cared much for ‘should-do’s, anyway. “I suppose you’re right,” he muttered, and added, “especially given your considerable endowments…”
“Jack?”
“Yes, dear?”
“Shut up.”
“Why.”
“Because. Actually, I’m surprised you can speak at all, based off of all the wailing you’ve been doing about that tooth of yours.”
“’Because’? Hmh.”
“You think I don’t know you well enough to know how to shut you up?”
Jack snickered. “What, are you going to slide under the table and suck me off?”
“You already have your pants open.”
“How-.”
“Zipper.”
“Oh. Oh, mm. I didn’t actually mean it - I was half - ah - half-joking. God!”
James lifted his head and tried not to hit it on the tabletop-bottom. “Well this is the other half. And it takes your attention off that damned tooth, and was supposed to shut you up. So, shut the fuck up.”
Jack didn’t actually quiet down much, but the noises he made were inarticulate (except for when they were “yes!” and “more!” and “James!”) and in sincere agreement with James’ decision and use-of-tongue. And suction. And… ohgodteeth. Jack almost snapped his neck over the back of the chair when he came, clutching the edge of the table and bucking into James’ mouth and completely distracted from his pained tooth and the related worries. He sunk into the chair and, in a limp sort of semi-paralysis, watched James leave the kitchen.
He returned a few minutes later with a self-satisfied smirk across his face that had nothing to do with the flush of sex still crawling down from Jack’s cheeks. “Get yourself cleaned up and presentable; Timothy Andrews, D.D.S. will see you in an hour. And I’m driving.”