Sam
Hey...ahhhhh. yep..new journal. kay. an entry;
Sam and I got in a huge fight the other night because I am really stupid. He doesn't trust me; and he doesn't think that I would do anything for him. He gets mad at me costantly.. I'm so selfish because I do NOT deserve someone like him. I'm just no where near good enough for him. But being the selfish bitch that I am;; I cannot let him go. I love him so much. But this is killing me. I hate to see him miserable; and I make him that way. It's like;; holy shit I need to die.. ughhhhhhhhh. I suck man. He'd be so much better without me, but I'm nowhere near strong enough to let him go. I feel bad because I am different than most girls; and I wish I could be like the rest. I wish I could be a little preppy happy slut;; but it's just not gonna happen.. it's not me. Maybe I should change??? Would that make him happier...? I think it would. I don't know. This shit is so complicated and confusing and I'm losing my mind over it. Next wednesday is our four month anniversary.. yay! It seems like we've been together forever though; four months is a pretty long time. I love him so much and I wish I could express it better. I don't know.. comments welcome for suggestions of what I should do. please?!