[fic] La Mia Tristezza
Author’s Note:: Iyyyeeeesh!!! Finish this in two days weeks! Because I was distracted by Hibari-sama’s smexiness. ;_ _; I finally able to post at least one fic for this claim. Ah~ Gokudera~ How I miss writing you. <3. This will mark the first installment for the ‘Gokudera NEVER Smiles’ series. Okay, I’m just kidding with the series title. ^^;; The title will be: Due Fiumi. It’s taken from one of the soundtracks of Gensou Suikoden II (my all time favorite RPG game) and it means ‘Two Rivers’. Don’t ask me why I use it, kay? I’m still trying to figure it out. /fail
Er… on the other hand, pardon me for the weird plotlines. It’s writer’s block, and it’s been a couple of months since I write something normal (Mukuro’s Kufufu no Fu doesn’t count cuz I already write the beginning of it before I was stuck in writer’s block). Anyways, enjoy the first installment of Due Fiumi, everyone!
PS:: It’s kinda creepy to imagine I have to write him smiling in 30 fics. Gokudera never smiles. Period. (unless there’s Tuna fish Tsuna in front of him).
One of these days, Gokudera swore to himself that he would never touch the piano ever again.
That thing had always brought painful memories back to his already troubled mind. It reminded him of his childhood days in the old castle where he used to live together with his father and stepmother (his father’s legitimate wife), Bianchi’s Poison Cooking (his stomach churned a little as the thought crossed his mind), Shamal, and of course; his real mother.
He remembered how he always tried to avoid seeing the baby grand piano that was stationed inside his room-despite the fact that his fingers were itching to touch the black and white ivory keys. It was a gift from his stepmother-when he was three years old-before she died because of a serious illness half a year later. He refused to learn how to play the piano after she died. The piano reminded him of his beloved mother.
He also remembered how his father had forced him to learn the piano for the sake of showing his son off to his mafia affiliates, allies and rivals. He had reluctantly learned the art of piano playing from one renowned Italian maestro his father had paid. Young Master Hayato is a fast learner! He has talent, his teacher had said.
Two years later, Gokudera turned six and was already branded as the most promising young piano prodigy by the Italian maestro. His father had been very proud and was ready to show him off to the guests of the party.
That was when the traumatic disaster occurred.
Bianchi, now eight, had just learned how to cook from the castle’s chef. She baked cookies for her first lesson and she had asked her younger brother to eat the (poisonous) cookies. And the rest was history…
The piano also reminded him of Shamal, the perverted doctor who always brought different women to the castle and often said that they were his sisters. He remembered how Shamal would force him to play the piano to please the so called ‘sisters’ and then those women would pinch his cheek while saying, “How cute.”
Gokudera Hayato hated to be called cute.
However, those memories were not the main reason why he didn’t want to touch the piano again.
Every time he saw a piano nearby, the first thing that crossed his mind was about his mother; his biological mother. He would be reminded of how he had overheard the maids talking about ‘the Master’s mistress who is a pianist had died in a car crash’ and ‘they say it was a suicide’ and ‘But, I heard it was Master’s doing…’ and ‘Poor Young Master Hayato. He doesn’t know anything, does he?’
It was always a painful thing to be constantly reminded how he had been the only one who didn’t know that his real mother was murdered by his own father, that he was being left out and alone, whenever he heard a piano sound nearby. That was why he really didn’t know how to react when the Bianchi from ten years later brought the old grand piano from their castle to Vongola underground base.
Gokudera looked at the black grand piano with a piercing gaze-it’s like the piano had done him wrong. He couldn’t help but feel the stinging pain inside his chest again as the old memories resurfaced inside his head. He shook his head vigorously, attempting to shove away those memories to the back of his mind. He shouldn’t be delving in some old childhood memories when he was supposed to be thinking about how to bring the Tenth and all the others back to the past.
But somehow, unconsciously, he was already sitting on the piano bench and his hands were hovering over the keys. One finger gently touched the surface of the white key and slowly he pushed. A low tone resounded from that single touch created this enormous electrifying feeling flowing through his fingers down to his spine. He could feel the sudden excitement and longing; the longing to touch the ivory keys again and to hear the beautiful tunes, to play the old instrument and to hear the low tune of G key again.
His fingers started to move from one key to another, creating a melodious harmony. He was surprised that he still remembered how to play the piano after so many years of not touching it. Old habits die hard, he thought wryly. And then he started to play one of the piece he like the most-Brahms’ Intermezzo in A Major Opus 118 no.2.
He frowned a little bit as his hands dancing on the piano keys. He felt the excitement flowing to all over his body and even though the piece he was playing was a sad piece, he couldn’t help but feel happy. It’s been such a long time since he played the piano and he didn’t know why, but hearing himself playing again made him feel somewhat more… alive.
But that’s when the reality hit him. His fingers stopped moving. He shouldn’t be sitting here and playing the piano, drowning himself in some stupid nostalgia when the Tenth was still trying his best to get stronger. He should be training and-
“Hell! What the heck am I doing?” he grunted, ruffling his own silver locks of hair in frustration.
“Why did you stop playing, Gokudera-kun?”
Gokudera’s heart almost leapt out of his chest when he realized that he was not alone in that room. He turned his head and saw that his boss, the baseball freak and that stupid woman (who was holding the stupid cow) were standing by the door.
“Te-Tenth!”
“I never know you can play such beautiful song, Gokudera-kun,” Tsuna said as he stepped inside the room. “I was wondering who played a piano in this place.”
Gokudera’s cheeks flushed when he heard his boss praising him.
“Hahi… Haru still can’t believe that it’s Gokudera-san.” Haru followed Tsuna inside the room. “Haru thought that it must be one of the recordings because there’s no way she would believe that Gokudera-san can play the piano that beautifully.”
He couldn’t help but feel annoyed at Haru’s comments but was also embarrassed as well because she too, was praising him.
“Gahahahahaha!!! Lambo-san wants to play the piano too!” Lambo exclaimed as he struggled out of Haru’s hands and jumped to Gokudera’s lap.
“Shut up, stupid cow! And what the hell are you doing!” Gokudera shouted at Lambo who was punching-yes, punching-the piano keys. “You’ll break it!”
“Ahahahaha! Let him be, Gokudera. You can’t blame him after he heard such pretty song played by you.” This time, it was Yamamoto. And Gokudera couldn’t help but to turn redder under the constant praising.
“You should play more often, Gokudera-kun.” Tsuna said while smiling at him. “And maybe you can teach Lambo too. He looks like he’s extremely eager to play it,” he added as Lambo kept on punching the poor piano keys.
Gokudera sighed and lifted Lambo’s small hands off the piano. “Stop it, stupid cow! You shouldn’t play it like that!”
As Gokudera slowly (painfully and patiently) taught Lambo the proper way to play the delicate instrument as the rest of the occupants watched on, a reluctant smile slowly made its way onto his face.
Maybe, just maybe, it was not a bad thing to touch, to play the piano again after all these years. It was time to let go of the past, those painful memories, the sadness and above all, the longing to belong-because he was not alone anymore.
The Tenth was sitting there, behind him, wearing that ever serene smile on his face. That stupid woman was sitting beside the Tenth, trying her best not to show her amazement after she knew it was him who had played the beautiful song. The stupid baseball freak was wearing his stupid smile on his face as usual.
Yes, he was not alone anymore. So he decided to stop lying to himself, to stop hating the piano, and start burying his past. The people sitting behind him were eager to hear him play the piano again.
Also, he had to stop Lambo from breaking his precious piano.
Not just an end note:: Don’t know the beautiful piece Gokudera was playing in this fic? It’s a quiet, gentle and nostalgic, almost softly tragic (sounds so much like Gokudera’s situation, no?), piece by one of my favorite classical music composer; Johannes Brahms. Here’s the link to the song if you want to hear it. ;D
Er… on the other hand, pardon me for the weird plotlines. It’s writer’s block, and it’s been a couple of months since I write something normal (Mukuro’s Kufufu no Fu doesn’t count cuz I already write the beginning of it before I was stuck in writer’s block). Anyways, enjoy the first installment of Due Fiumi, everyone!
PS:: It’s kinda creepy to imagine I have to write him smiling in 30 fics. Gokudera never smiles. Period. (unless there’s Tuna fish Tsuna in front of him).
One of these days, Gokudera swore to himself that he would never touch the piano ever again.
That thing had always brought painful memories back to his already troubled mind. It reminded him of his childhood days in the old castle where he used to live together with his father and stepmother (his father’s legitimate wife), Bianchi’s Poison Cooking (his stomach churned a little as the thought crossed his mind), Shamal, and of course; his real mother.
He remembered how he always tried to avoid seeing the baby grand piano that was stationed inside his room-despite the fact that his fingers were itching to touch the black and white ivory keys. It was a gift from his stepmother-when he was three years old-before she died because of a serious illness half a year later. He refused to learn how to play the piano after she died. The piano reminded him of his beloved mother.
He also remembered how his father had forced him to learn the piano for the sake of showing his son off to his mafia affiliates, allies and rivals. He had reluctantly learned the art of piano playing from one renowned Italian maestro his father had paid. Young Master Hayato is a fast learner! He has talent, his teacher had said.
Two years later, Gokudera turned six and was already branded as the most promising young piano prodigy by the Italian maestro. His father had been very proud and was ready to show him off to the guests of the party.
That was when the traumatic disaster occurred.
Bianchi, now eight, had just learned how to cook from the castle’s chef. She baked cookies for her first lesson and she had asked her younger brother to eat the (poisonous) cookies. And the rest was history…
The piano also reminded him of Shamal, the perverted doctor who always brought different women to the castle and often said that they were his sisters. He remembered how Shamal would force him to play the piano to please the so called ‘sisters’ and then those women would pinch his cheek while saying, “How cute.”
Gokudera Hayato hated to be called cute.
However, those memories were not the main reason why he didn’t want to touch the piano again.
Every time he saw a piano nearby, the first thing that crossed his mind was about his mother; his biological mother. He would be reminded of how he had overheard the maids talking about ‘the Master’s mistress who is a pianist had died in a car crash’ and ‘they say it was a suicide’ and ‘But, I heard it was Master’s doing…’ and ‘Poor Young Master Hayato. He doesn’t know anything, does he?’
It was always a painful thing to be constantly reminded how he had been the only one who didn’t know that his real mother was murdered by his own father, that he was being left out and alone, whenever he heard a piano sound nearby. That was why he really didn’t know how to react when the Bianchi from ten years later brought the old grand piano from their castle to Vongola underground base.
Gokudera looked at the black grand piano with a piercing gaze-it’s like the piano had done him wrong. He couldn’t help but feel the stinging pain inside his chest again as the old memories resurfaced inside his head. He shook his head vigorously, attempting to shove away those memories to the back of his mind. He shouldn’t be delving in some old childhood memories when he was supposed to be thinking about how to bring the Tenth and all the others back to the past.
But somehow, unconsciously, he was already sitting on the piano bench and his hands were hovering over the keys. One finger gently touched the surface of the white key and slowly he pushed. A low tone resounded from that single touch created this enormous electrifying feeling flowing through his fingers down to his spine. He could feel the sudden excitement and longing; the longing to touch the ivory keys again and to hear the beautiful tunes, to play the old instrument and to hear the low tune of G key again.
His fingers started to move from one key to another, creating a melodious harmony. He was surprised that he still remembered how to play the piano after so many years of not touching it. Old habits die hard, he thought wryly. And then he started to play one of the piece he like the most-Brahms’ Intermezzo in A Major Opus 118 no.2.
He frowned a little bit as his hands dancing on the piano keys. He felt the excitement flowing to all over his body and even though the piece he was playing was a sad piece, he couldn’t help but feel happy. It’s been such a long time since he played the piano and he didn’t know why, but hearing himself playing again made him feel somewhat more… alive.
But that’s when the reality hit him. His fingers stopped moving. He shouldn’t be sitting here and playing the piano, drowning himself in some stupid nostalgia when the Tenth was still trying his best to get stronger. He should be training and-
“Hell! What the heck am I doing?” he grunted, ruffling his own silver locks of hair in frustration.
“Why did you stop playing, Gokudera-kun?”
Gokudera’s heart almost leapt out of his chest when he realized that he was not alone in that room. He turned his head and saw that his boss, the baseball freak and that stupid woman (who was holding the stupid cow) were standing by the door.
“Te-Tenth!”
“I never know you can play such beautiful song, Gokudera-kun,” Tsuna said as he stepped inside the room. “I was wondering who played a piano in this place.”
Gokudera’s cheeks flushed when he heard his boss praising him.
“Hahi… Haru still can’t believe that it’s Gokudera-san.” Haru followed Tsuna inside the room. “Haru thought that it must be one of the recordings because there’s no way she would believe that Gokudera-san can play the piano that beautifully.”
He couldn’t help but feel annoyed at Haru’s comments but was also embarrassed as well because she too, was praising him.
“Gahahahahaha!!! Lambo-san wants to play the piano too!” Lambo exclaimed as he struggled out of Haru’s hands and jumped to Gokudera’s lap.
“Shut up, stupid cow! And what the hell are you doing!” Gokudera shouted at Lambo who was punching-yes, punching-the piano keys. “You’ll break it!”
“Ahahahaha! Let him be, Gokudera. You can’t blame him after he heard such pretty song played by you.” This time, it was Yamamoto. And Gokudera couldn’t help but to turn redder under the constant praising.
“You should play more often, Gokudera-kun.” Tsuna said while smiling at him. “And maybe you can teach Lambo too. He looks like he’s extremely eager to play it,” he added as Lambo kept on punching the poor piano keys.
Gokudera sighed and lifted Lambo’s small hands off the piano. “Stop it, stupid cow! You shouldn’t play it like that!”
As Gokudera slowly (painfully and patiently) taught Lambo the proper way to play the delicate instrument as the rest of the occupants watched on, a reluctant smile slowly made its way onto his face.
Maybe, just maybe, it was not a bad thing to touch, to play the piano again after all these years. It was time to let go of the past, those painful memories, the sadness and above all, the longing to belong-because he was not alone anymore.
The Tenth was sitting there, behind him, wearing that ever serene smile on his face. That stupid woman was sitting beside the Tenth, trying her best not to show her amazement after she knew it was him who had played the beautiful song. The stupid baseball freak was wearing his stupid smile on his face as usual.
Yes, he was not alone anymore. So he decided to stop lying to himself, to stop hating the piano, and start burying his past. The people sitting behind him were eager to hear him play the piano again.
Also, he had to stop Lambo from breaking his precious piano.
Not just an end note:: Don’t know the beautiful piece Gokudera was playing in this fic? It’s a quiet, gentle and nostalgic, almost softly tragic (sounds so much like Gokudera’s situation, no?), piece by one of my favorite classical music composer; Johannes Brahms. Here’s the link to the song if you want to hear it. ;D