fanfic: star trek xi
title: an indian summer
pairings/characters: spock/uhura, kirk, implied mccoy/uhura
rating: pg-13 for suggestivness and kirk's potty mouth
summary: they say if you love something, you should set it free.
a/n: this is basically my take on what might've happened if spock prime didn't intervene and tell spock to follow his heart.
you're like an indian summer in the middle of a winter
like a hard candy with a surprise center.
how do i get better once i've had the best
you said there's tons of fish in the water so the waters i will test.
-Thinking of You, Katy Perry
The rain pours down on the city with a force and heaviness that has always made Spock uncomfortable. But he knows that he owes it to his almost-friend to brave the unfortunate weather to have a drink, as Kirk said over the communicator. There were so few opportunities to meet. The Enterprise crew would be planet-side for no more than a few days as the flagship gets repaired. And Spock would be returning home to the Vulcan colony shortly anyways. This is the first time in three years that they have been able to coordinate a meeting, though they communicate sporadically.
They fall into an easy conversation at the dingy bar. Surprising considering how difficult they found one another initially. And though only three years have past since the two of them saved the galaxy, they both know now that they are no longer the arrogant boys they were upon their first meeting. They are now grown men with considerable responsibilities resting on their shoulders.
“God, I miss this. Actual weather, you know. I mean, I’d give my last breath for the Enterprise but living on a starship… you miss out on the small stuff you never even noticed before,” Kirk says with great animation, that part of him has not changed.
“I am well aware that humans are partial to assigning emotional significance to such standard occurrences as weather. However, I am sure that captaining the USS Enterprise does not leave much time for pining.”
“You’re right. The Enterprise isn’t the easiest ship to take care of. We’re always somebody’s target. And she got fucked up on the last mission. Took some pretty unfortunate hits and we lost some good people,” Kirk says, as he shakes his head.
Spock only nods in response but he takes note of the seriousness in Kirk’s voice and feels relieved that the once carefree cadet has grown into a Captain worthy of the flagship.
“Aren’t you gonna ask me about her?” Kirk breaks the silence with the touchiest subject they haven’t covered yet. As if to protect himself, he takes a huge gulp of beer while Spock tries to formulate a response.
“I assume she is avoiding me.”
“Can you blame her? You fucking broke her heart,” Kirk was feeling bold tonight. If he could only talk to Spock once every three years, he might as well go for it. And he suspects that Spock needs to let off some steam on that issue to someone.
“Look I’m sorry for bringing that up. It’s been a long time. I should be asking you how your family’s doing,” Kirk says. He truly is apologetic. He doesn’t want to bring in any unpleasantness to their short visit.
“Quite well. And I must thank you, Jim, for sending the gift. He now refuses to sleep without it.”
“Hey, we might not be the best buddies we were in that other universe but I still get to be the cool uncle. I’d love to meet the kid before you know, the terrible twos. Maybe you’ll bring them around next time.”
“Of course.”
There is a long pause in the conversation as both men finish up their drinks.
“We would’ve an awesome team, you know. Yeah, I know that thinking about what might have been is illogical, but I just know you would’ve loved it up there.”
~
She had spent the last three days intent on avoiding him. She met up with her family and caught up with her old friends, as Leonard had done the same but separately. Sure, they were a couple but they preferred a measure of independence because they had both been terribly hurt in the past.
Nyota remembers what it was like at the Academy when she and Spock were engaged in their secret affair. It was so consuming and intense, as if her very existence was contingent upon his. She had risked her academic standing, her career and most likely her family’s approval for him. She now realizes how exhausting it was to be in such a relationship, one that she couldn’t speak of to anyone and that they had to take pains to hide in public. And all she ever got out of it was a broken heart. She just needs to see him one last time so she can finally move on. Though she’s not ashamed to admit, she had a few drinks from her hotel mini bar beforehand to instill enough courage.
She throws on a trench coat as she leaves her room. She runs through the rain from her hotel to the embassy where he is staying. She doesn’t bother buying an umbrella from the hotel gift shop since she’ll only be on Earth for another couple of hours and she’d certainly have no use for one in space.
The embassy is lavish, an odd sight considering the uncertain future of the Vulcan race. She knocks on the door that leads to his suite, instead of ringing the buzzer, because that’s what she always did at the Academy. It was their secret, her way of signaling to him that she was at his door.
Spock answers without delay, almost as if he were expecting her arrival. Nyota has to remind herself that being awake at 3 a.m. is typical for him. He barely sleeps at all.
He remains perfectly still for several moments before giving her a polite nod, showing no indication at all that this is their first meeting in nearly three years.
He lets her in silently, as his lips twitch into a brief smile at her wet appearance. She sheds her beige trench coat and places it on a nearby chair.
They can only stand at opposite sides of the room, afraid to move closer for fear of what might transpire.
“Does the doctor know where you are, Nyota?” Spock says with a touch of amusement in his voice that only she could recognize.
“He’s still visiting his daughter. And honestly, I think he assumes that I’ve been with you this whole week,” Nyota replies truthfully.
“Why would he think such a thing?”
“Oh he and I have a lot in common, you see. We were two people who couldn’t get over our exes.”
“Nyota, that was three years ago,” he says without any hint of discomfort in his voice. “Time heals all wounds is the common human phrase.”
She laughs at his reasoning, as she loved to do when they were together.
“If only the heart could set expiration dates,” she replies wistfully.
He has no reply prepared for this so he allowed an uncomfortable silence to fill the air.
“Have we expired?” he asks, the only thing he can come up with.
“That’s what I came here to find out,” she responds. “Of course, it’s not like it would matter either way.”
She begins to walk around the sitting room, glancing at the walls, the tabletops, looking for something. She isn’t sure what. Anything that would give her a hint at what his life was like now, without her in it. But there are no pictures or trinkets. Nothing. Of course, this is Spock. She should know that he would keep all personal décor to a bare minimum but even his quarters at the Academy had small touches of personality. But there was nothing here. If a complete stranger walked into this room, he would never know that Spock had a wife and a small child.
“Is there something you wish to discuss?” Spock asks, unsure of her real intentions here. Her eyes stop scanning the room and move to look at him. She giggles a little, thus perhaps giving away her slightly intoxicated state, though he does not mention it.
“Just the past, I guess.”
“Please be more specific.”
She sighs. Right, don’t be vague with Vulcans.
“Why didn’t you pick me?” she finally asks the question she has longed to know the answer to.
“I was required on the Vulcan colony and you…” he pauses, “I was certain that you would be perfectly fine without me. That you would easily find another and perhaps even be happier with him.”
“Well, I wasn’t fine. I’m not fine,” she spits out bitterly. Once again, he has no answer.
“If I thought it would do any good, I would’ve begged you not to go,” she says with a quivering voice.
“Why did you not do so?” he asks, genuinely curious for her answer.
“What?”
“Ask me to stay.”
“I guess I couldn’t bear to make your life any harder. To force you to choose like that-”
“I was already forced to choose,” he interrupts her, his voice raised in a manner he would never use with anyone else. She has no reply. It’s too late for anything but resignation.
“Perhaps you should return. You have an early departure,” he says, as polite as possible.
Nyota nods sadly but instead of turning away from him to head to the door as he expects, she runs toward him and throws her arms around his shoulders, pressing her face into his neck. She can no longer prevent the heavy tears from falling from her eyes, though she weeps silently.
His arms cautiously move to hold her, one hand stroking her damp and messy hair and the other grasping her waist through the wet fabric of her sweater. Her breaths are heavy and muffled with pain, and he can only blame himself for causing it.
Spock then breaks their desperate embrace and places both his hands on her flushed cheeks, forcing her redden eyes to meet his. Without warning, he kisses her lips roughly.
And at all once, she is reminded of all the things she missed about him and had tried to forget over the past three years. They were all on her in this moment. His searing hot lips. The almost crushing strength of his hands. The heat radiating off his warm body. She responds to his mouth with great hunger, as she had been starved of him for so long.
They eventually part slowly, their breathing uneven and ragged. Nyota’s eyes are still dripping with tears, as she fully comprehends what must happen next. There is no other option. Neither of them are free to love each other anymore. That time has long past. “You really must leave now,” Spock manages to force his voice to speak.
“I know,” she whispers, nearly inaudible, never taking her eyes off his. Those intense eyes that she once thought she would surely drown in.
Yet despite the fact that her scheduled departure time is in less than four hours, she doesn’t leave. And he doesn’t repeat his words.
A/N: Make what you will of the ending! I love open-ended finales. One of my favorite movies is Before Sunset so that's kind of where this idea came from.
pairings/characters: spock/uhura, kirk, implied mccoy/uhura
rating: pg-13 for suggestivness and kirk's potty mouth
summary: they say if you love something, you should set it free.
a/n: this is basically my take on what might've happened if spock prime didn't intervene and tell spock to follow his heart.
you're like an indian summer in the middle of a winter
like a hard candy with a surprise center.
how do i get better once i've had the best
you said there's tons of fish in the water so the waters i will test.
-Thinking of You, Katy Perry
The rain pours down on the city with a force and heaviness that has always made Spock uncomfortable. But he knows that he owes it to his almost-friend to brave the unfortunate weather to have a drink, as Kirk said over the communicator. There were so few opportunities to meet. The Enterprise crew would be planet-side for no more than a few days as the flagship gets repaired. And Spock would be returning home to the Vulcan colony shortly anyways. This is the first time in three years that they have been able to coordinate a meeting, though they communicate sporadically.
They fall into an easy conversation at the dingy bar. Surprising considering how difficult they found one another initially. And though only three years have past since the two of them saved the galaxy, they both know now that they are no longer the arrogant boys they were upon their first meeting. They are now grown men with considerable responsibilities resting on their shoulders.
“God, I miss this. Actual weather, you know. I mean, I’d give my last breath for the Enterprise but living on a starship… you miss out on the small stuff you never even noticed before,” Kirk says with great animation, that part of him has not changed.
“I am well aware that humans are partial to assigning emotional significance to such standard occurrences as weather. However, I am sure that captaining the USS Enterprise does not leave much time for pining.”
“You’re right. The Enterprise isn’t the easiest ship to take care of. We’re always somebody’s target. And she got fucked up on the last mission. Took some pretty unfortunate hits and we lost some good people,” Kirk says, as he shakes his head.
Spock only nods in response but he takes note of the seriousness in Kirk’s voice and feels relieved that the once carefree cadet has grown into a Captain worthy of the flagship.
“Aren’t you gonna ask me about her?” Kirk breaks the silence with the touchiest subject they haven’t covered yet. As if to protect himself, he takes a huge gulp of beer while Spock tries to formulate a response.
“I assume she is avoiding me.”
“Can you blame her? You fucking broke her heart,” Kirk was feeling bold tonight. If he could only talk to Spock once every three years, he might as well go for it. And he suspects that Spock needs to let off some steam on that issue to someone.
“Look I’m sorry for bringing that up. It’s been a long time. I should be asking you how your family’s doing,” Kirk says. He truly is apologetic. He doesn’t want to bring in any unpleasantness to their short visit.
“Quite well. And I must thank you, Jim, for sending the gift. He now refuses to sleep without it.”
“Hey, we might not be the best buddies we were in that other universe but I still get to be the cool uncle. I’d love to meet the kid before you know, the terrible twos. Maybe you’ll bring them around next time.”
“Of course.”
There is a long pause in the conversation as both men finish up their drinks.
“We would’ve an awesome team, you know. Yeah, I know that thinking about what might have been is illogical, but I just know you would’ve loved it up there.”
~
She had spent the last three days intent on avoiding him. She met up with her family and caught up with her old friends, as Leonard had done the same but separately. Sure, they were a couple but they preferred a measure of independence because they had both been terribly hurt in the past.
Nyota remembers what it was like at the Academy when she and Spock were engaged in their secret affair. It was so consuming and intense, as if her very existence was contingent upon his. She had risked her academic standing, her career and most likely her family’s approval for him. She now realizes how exhausting it was to be in such a relationship, one that she couldn’t speak of to anyone and that they had to take pains to hide in public. And all she ever got out of it was a broken heart. She just needs to see him one last time so she can finally move on. Though she’s not ashamed to admit, she had a few drinks from her hotel mini bar beforehand to instill enough courage.
She throws on a trench coat as she leaves her room. She runs through the rain from her hotel to the embassy where he is staying. She doesn’t bother buying an umbrella from the hotel gift shop since she’ll only be on Earth for another couple of hours and she’d certainly have no use for one in space.
The embassy is lavish, an odd sight considering the uncertain future of the Vulcan race. She knocks on the door that leads to his suite, instead of ringing the buzzer, because that’s what she always did at the Academy. It was their secret, her way of signaling to him that she was at his door.
Spock answers without delay, almost as if he were expecting her arrival. Nyota has to remind herself that being awake at 3 a.m. is typical for him. He barely sleeps at all.
He remains perfectly still for several moments before giving her a polite nod, showing no indication at all that this is their first meeting in nearly three years.
He lets her in silently, as his lips twitch into a brief smile at her wet appearance. She sheds her beige trench coat and places it on a nearby chair.
They can only stand at opposite sides of the room, afraid to move closer for fear of what might transpire.
“Does the doctor know where you are, Nyota?” Spock says with a touch of amusement in his voice that only she could recognize.
“He’s still visiting his daughter. And honestly, I think he assumes that I’ve been with you this whole week,” Nyota replies truthfully.
“Why would he think such a thing?”
“Oh he and I have a lot in common, you see. We were two people who couldn’t get over our exes.”
“Nyota, that was three years ago,” he says without any hint of discomfort in his voice. “Time heals all wounds is the common human phrase.”
She laughs at his reasoning, as she loved to do when they were together.
“If only the heart could set expiration dates,” she replies wistfully.
He has no reply prepared for this so he allowed an uncomfortable silence to fill the air.
“Have we expired?” he asks, the only thing he can come up with.
“That’s what I came here to find out,” she responds. “Of course, it’s not like it would matter either way.”
She begins to walk around the sitting room, glancing at the walls, the tabletops, looking for something. She isn’t sure what. Anything that would give her a hint at what his life was like now, without her in it. But there are no pictures or trinkets. Nothing. Of course, this is Spock. She should know that he would keep all personal décor to a bare minimum but even his quarters at the Academy had small touches of personality. But there was nothing here. If a complete stranger walked into this room, he would never know that Spock had a wife and a small child.
“Is there something you wish to discuss?” Spock asks, unsure of her real intentions here. Her eyes stop scanning the room and move to look at him. She giggles a little, thus perhaps giving away her slightly intoxicated state, though he does not mention it.
“Just the past, I guess.”
“Please be more specific.”
She sighs. Right, don’t be vague with Vulcans.
“Why didn’t you pick me?” she finally asks the question she has longed to know the answer to.
“I was required on the Vulcan colony and you…” he pauses, “I was certain that you would be perfectly fine without me. That you would easily find another and perhaps even be happier with him.”
“Well, I wasn’t fine. I’m not fine,” she spits out bitterly. Once again, he has no answer.
“If I thought it would do any good, I would’ve begged you not to go,” she says with a quivering voice.
“Why did you not do so?” he asks, genuinely curious for her answer.
“What?”
“Ask me to stay.”
“I guess I couldn’t bear to make your life any harder. To force you to choose like that-”
“I was already forced to choose,” he interrupts her, his voice raised in a manner he would never use with anyone else. She has no reply. It’s too late for anything but resignation.
“Perhaps you should return. You have an early departure,” he says, as polite as possible.
Nyota nods sadly but instead of turning away from him to head to the door as he expects, she runs toward him and throws her arms around his shoulders, pressing her face into his neck. She can no longer prevent the heavy tears from falling from her eyes, though she weeps silently.
His arms cautiously move to hold her, one hand stroking her damp and messy hair and the other grasping her waist through the wet fabric of her sweater. Her breaths are heavy and muffled with pain, and he can only blame himself for causing it.
Spock then breaks their desperate embrace and places both his hands on her flushed cheeks, forcing her redden eyes to meet his. Without warning, he kisses her lips roughly.
And at all once, she is reminded of all the things she missed about him and had tried to forget over the past three years. They were all on her in this moment. His searing hot lips. The almost crushing strength of his hands. The heat radiating off his warm body. She responds to his mouth with great hunger, as she had been starved of him for so long.
They eventually part slowly, their breathing uneven and ragged. Nyota’s eyes are still dripping with tears, as she fully comprehends what must happen next. There is no other option. Neither of them are free to love each other anymore. That time has long past. “You really must leave now,” Spock manages to force his voice to speak.
“I know,” she whispers, nearly inaudible, never taking her eyes off his. Those intense eyes that she once thought she would surely drown in.
Yet despite the fact that her scheduled departure time is in less than four hours, she doesn’t leave. And he doesn’t repeat his words.
A/N: Make what you will of the ending! I love open-ended finales. One of my favorite movies is Before Sunset so that's kind of where this idea came from.