The Catcher in the Rye
"Don't ever tell anybody anything, because if you do, you then you start missing everybody." (Holden Caufield) JD Salinger. Catcher in the Rye.
I finished Catcher in the Rye again a few weeks ago, and I got it. I didn't get when I was younger. But this time, I really felt it. Maybe it was because I hadn't understand the amazing, and the amazing fakeness of New York City and it's people. But then again, I don't think it's just New York. It might be just the world.
Not exactly sure what I did to justify feeling like an outsider everywhere, but I do. Fact, now that Principal Keo has been ousted from Hayes, I don't have any other adults to talk to at school. Fact, my "bff" has a million different plausible excuses as to why she's not able to visit, which allows me to keep hope, but when out of excuses, she goes elsewhere. And says it without any qualms. Fact. Fact. Fact. Fact. I'm so sick and tired of facts.
I wander the streets at night and see the kids, teenagers, and mid-twenties people enjoying their lives, and I think to myself- "Why isn't me?" "Aren't I smart enough, worked out enough...enough?" Like I said before, at school, some of the teacher's somewhat lean on me for lessons plans, etc. Yet, I eat lunch alone, cry in the English lounge, and I don't know what I did to have to do that.
There are days that are amazing. Karoyke with Steph, and her roommates party at Forum were awesome. Met some cool people, who spilled their drunken hearts out to me. It's weird how that happens- people open their hearts, and then fly away, until you know they need someone to listen. And it's nice. Sorta the same reason why I let Dan Hammond come back in and out. Because it's nice to have someone around. To see that I'm doing well. Because for a time, I wasn't and even though I feel like...N/M. It's just much better,
"I want to come out of the dark, but everything seems so hard. Show me a way/show me which way to go/can't do this by myself/ Don't know how I should play the cards I've been dealt. Is anybody listening, does anybody feel the same?"
-Danity Kane
But I've been watching August Rush. And it's been giving me chills. The same chills that Akeelah and the Bee gave me.
"Sometimes it takes a different kind of dream to make a person smile."
I finished Catcher in the Rye again a few weeks ago, and I got it. I didn't get when I was younger. But this time, I really felt it. Maybe it was because I hadn't understand the amazing, and the amazing fakeness of New York City and it's people. But then again, I don't think it's just New York. It might be just the world.
Not exactly sure what I did to justify feeling like an outsider everywhere, but I do. Fact, now that Principal Keo has been ousted from Hayes, I don't have any other adults to talk to at school. Fact, my "bff" has a million different plausible excuses as to why she's not able to visit, which allows me to keep hope, but when out of excuses, she goes elsewhere. And says it without any qualms. Fact. Fact. Fact. Fact. I'm so sick and tired of facts.
I wander the streets at night and see the kids, teenagers, and mid-twenties people enjoying their lives, and I think to myself- "Why isn't me?" "Aren't I smart enough, worked out enough...enough?" Like I said before, at school, some of the teacher's somewhat lean on me for lessons plans, etc. Yet, I eat lunch alone, cry in the English lounge, and I don't know what I did to have to do that.
There are days that are amazing. Karoyke with Steph, and her roommates party at Forum were awesome. Met some cool people, who spilled their drunken hearts out to me. It's weird how that happens- people open their hearts, and then fly away, until you know they need someone to listen. And it's nice. Sorta the same reason why I let Dan Hammond come back in and out. Because it's nice to have someone around. To see that I'm doing well. Because for a time, I wasn't and even though I feel like...N/M. It's just much better,
"I want to come out of the dark, but everything seems so hard. Show me a way/show me which way to go/can't do this by myself/ Don't know how I should play the cards I've been dealt. Is anybody listening, does anybody feel the same?"
-Danity Kane
But I've been watching August Rush. And it's been giving me chills. The same chills that Akeelah and the Bee gave me.
"Sometimes it takes a different kind of dream to make a person smile."