sleeping dogs

May 18, 2008 22:40

 I don't answer my phone. I don't keep it with me. I only sometimes get back to people who have called.

My god needs to read some Jane Austin

Sometimes I'm really sad about loosing it. Other times I just want to chuck it across a lake and forget about it. Once in awhile it makes me sad to think about what it could be, I'm sad because of what it already is. I want to reach out and grab more but I'm afraid that I will let go of what I have and be left standing with nothing.

Maybe I need to let go? What does that look like? Haven't I already done that? I'm  constantly letting go and constantly holding it close.

Its been more than a week since I have owned my greatness. I feel bad about that. I have to get on that again.

I'm addicted to disappointment. I hate it at night, when I'm finished with the day and I look back at the days before. Still, every time it starts to sting I feel  at home.........I want rehab
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