Scared today
Ya I woke up about 6 something today and found my neck was bothering me. I freaked out. Since my neck isn't normal like most. When I was 9 a bacteria attacked my neck and bubbled up on the side popping 2 of my vertabres out of place and making my head be stuck to one side. All during that time my mom had to sit behind me and keep me sitting up so I could breath since I almost died on her one night at that hospital.
Not to mention the sight of the head brace that they would of had to screw in my head completly brings me to tears. I would have no life at all if that would have happened to me. It's hard enough finding a guy to actually like me that would just make it completly not possible. So ya I have had a long cry since I don't want to go through all of that pain all over again. It took a lot of me to pull myself through it.
I remember my mom use to buy me fuzzy posters that had unicorns on them that I could color. My hand was all taped up but my left wasn't as bad so I had to color left handed which made me go everwhere. That's why I love fuzzy posters so much cause they mean a great deal to me and they helped me pass the time in the hospital.
Also playing the piano in the hospital playing center made me feel better. I was always alone. For some reason none of the other kids wanted to come around me so I just went the piano and randomlied played. I guess that is why I love piano and are a little not social. I'm just so use to have not alot of people around me that when it comes to me in a big group it is scary.
Also I'm coming to grips with everything else. People have told me to not waste my breath and I can do better but they don't understand sometimes how hard it is. It's mostly hard cause I am somewhat clinged to the past. I just have to let go I guess. Eventally maybe that person will see the light and climb up to where I will be and finally sweep me away.
Not to mention the sight of the head brace that they would of had to screw in my head completly brings me to tears. I would have no life at all if that would have happened to me. It's hard enough finding a guy to actually like me that would just make it completly not possible. So ya I have had a long cry since I don't want to go through all of that pain all over again. It took a lot of me to pull myself through it.
I remember my mom use to buy me fuzzy posters that had unicorns on them that I could color. My hand was all taped up but my left wasn't as bad so I had to color left handed which made me go everwhere. That's why I love fuzzy posters so much cause they mean a great deal to me and they helped me pass the time in the hospital.
Also playing the piano in the hospital playing center made me feel better. I was always alone. For some reason none of the other kids wanted to come around me so I just went the piano and randomlied played. I guess that is why I love piano and are a little not social. I'm just so use to have not alot of people around me that when it comes to me in a big group it is scary.
Also I'm coming to grips with everything else. People have told me to not waste my breath and I can do better but they don't understand sometimes how hard it is. It's mostly hard cause I am somewhat clinged to the past. I just have to let go I guess. Eventally maybe that person will see the light and climb up to where I will be and finally sweep me away.