(no subject)
So, Michael and I bought a new house.
Yes, I realize that this could have been fodder for countless entries - the trials, the tribulations of buying a house, especially since getting this one has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but I had strong superstitious feelings about not talking about it to anyone. Have you ever had that? It goes back to childhood, I think. If there was something I wanted really, really badly, then I wouldn’t dare talk about it - after all, everyone knows if you talk about something good, the powers that be will make sure that it doesn’t happen.
And I am finding that this silly old superstition has a stronger hold on me then I ever thought possible. I find myself not talking about my wedding, my relationship, my cottage, our new house, etc. Not just here on livejournal, but also in real life. Part of it is because it feels like bragging, and we’ve all be conditioned not to brag, part of it is because of this superstition, and part of it is because I feel like people don’t want to hear it. I feel strange talking about my impending marriage and other good fortune to my girlfriends who are all single, divorced, in bad relationships and struggling with financial matters, and here I am - engaged, happy, and buying another house.
Michael owns the house that we live in now. It is a big 100 year old home that has been broken into three apartments. We live on the main floor, there is a tenant in the second floor two bedroom, and we just re-rented the third floor one bedroom. Our plan is to move out from our apartment into the new house and then it rent out our old place too. The new house is also split into apartments. There is one huge three bedroom owner’s apartment and one small one bedroom apartment in he back, which we will also rent out. Unless you’ve been a landlord it is easy to imagine that Michael and I are rolling in dough with our four rental units - but that isn’t the case at all. The rent that we receive goes into the mortgages on the houses, but it doesn’t completely pay them - we are not living free by any means, especially once you factor in insurance, utilities (all of which we pay for all of the apartments) and maintenance. We both will be chipping in each month quite a bit to make this all work, though admittedly, the houses are great long term investments.
In addition, I own a cottage. It’s just a little place on a small lake. It needed a lot of work, much of which we’ve done, and all of which we’ve done ourselves. Naturally, we also own three cars. Michael and I each have a small vehicle we drive everyday, though his is a convertible. But when we bought the cottage, we quickly realized that neither of our cars was fit for driving country roads and hauling boats, furniture and home remodeling supplies up north. So, we bought an Isuzu Trooper. It’s kind of old and Michael paid cash for it, but it looks great and runs like a dream. It’s a perfect cottage vehicle. If you look at it from our financial statements, everything makes perfect sense, but if you look at it from the outside, it appears we are living high off the hog.
And then there is the wedding... as I mentioned this can be tough to talk about around my girlfriends, none of whom are in happy relationships, and all but one of which are bitter about marriages. I guess I started not talking to them the day I fell in love with Michael. That sounds terrible, as though once I fell in love and I only talked to him, but that isn’t the case at all. I tried to talk to them about this new relationship I was in, but I felt their distance. They were polite and interested, but I became aware that they were also waiting to change the subject. I understood, I knew how boring it can be to hear someone rant and rave about their new relationship. Although because of that, I had tried to be really sensitive of it and only talk about it when asked. Unfortunately, even that seemed to be too much. As things got better and better, I got quieter and quieter with the girls. My friend Tracey is in a bad relationship, and I quickly realized that me mentioning the good in my life made her seethe. She tried not to show it, but she had spent so long talking about how bad her mate was, that when I had nothing but good things to say, it really bothered her. Although, she was always really happy when I’d mention an argument or a personality flaw.
You know, I read over what I just wrote and I think how terrible it makes these ladies sound, and that’s not it at all. If they weren’t truly wonderful friends, dear, caring people, I wouldn’t be friends with them at all. I don’t think their reactions are bad, or even something they can help. I know I have felt the same way about people who were going through streaks of good fortune. Somehow it is hard to stomach, and yet, if someone is going through a streak of bad fortune, all I want to do it help.
It doesn’t help that we’re having the wedding at the Art Museum and the reception at one of the most exclusive restaurants in town. What I’ve tried to explain is that the Art Museum was far more reasonable in cost than anywhere else I looked - plus they are cutting me a number of deals because I have a small party and the wedding will be taking place during business hours, so they don’t have to pay their security guards extra. The reception still amazes me. It was the first place I looked at, but I had done enough event planning to know that it was perfect. When they told me their room rental fee, it was less than half of what other places charge, and their food was right in line with, or even less, than most. It was actually quite a bargain - even compared to crappy banquet halls.
So, I’m in this strange place. If someone asks me about what’s going on in my life, I try to answer the best I can, but I am concerned, perhaps overly so, of being one of those people who only talk about themselves. The worst part is that one of my friends will ask me about something wedding related, and even though I try to keep the answer short and sweet, I can see the others rolling their eyes as I talk. And it isn’t just them. I am wary of doing the same thing here. I guess it feels safer when bona fortuna is looking my way to keep my cards close to my vest. I don't say anything about buying the house until it’s bought. I keep my wedding plans between myself and Michael. I don’t even talk about it with my sister, because her wedding is in June and I don't want to steal any of her thunder.
Yet at the same time, I’ve been getting grief from my friends about being so closed mouthed. They tease me because I didn’t tell them about the house, I try to explain it, and they seem to understand, but at the same time, they don’t. I think they miss the old me, the single me. The one who lived alone in her apartment, who didn’t plan vacations, weddings, or real estate deals. Truthfully, I think I was almost as secretive then, but there were smaller things to hide.
The New House
Yes, I realize that this could have been fodder for countless entries - the trials, the tribulations of buying a house, especially since getting this one has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but I had strong superstitious feelings about not talking about it to anyone. Have you ever had that? It goes back to childhood, I think. If there was something I wanted really, really badly, then I wouldn’t dare talk about it - after all, everyone knows if you talk about something good, the powers that be will make sure that it doesn’t happen.
And I am finding that this silly old superstition has a stronger hold on me then I ever thought possible. I find myself not talking about my wedding, my relationship, my cottage, our new house, etc. Not just here on livejournal, but also in real life. Part of it is because it feels like bragging, and we’ve all be conditioned not to brag, part of it is because of this superstition, and part of it is because I feel like people don’t want to hear it. I feel strange talking about my impending marriage and other good fortune to my girlfriends who are all single, divorced, in bad relationships and struggling with financial matters, and here I am - engaged, happy, and buying another house.
Michael owns the house that we live in now. It is a big 100 year old home that has been broken into three apartments. We live on the main floor, there is a tenant in the second floor two bedroom, and we just re-rented the third floor one bedroom. Our plan is to move out from our apartment into the new house and then it rent out our old place too. The new house is also split into apartments. There is one huge three bedroom owner’s apartment and one small one bedroom apartment in he back, which we will also rent out. Unless you’ve been a landlord it is easy to imagine that Michael and I are rolling in dough with our four rental units - but that isn’t the case at all. The rent that we receive goes into the mortgages on the houses, but it doesn’t completely pay them - we are not living free by any means, especially once you factor in insurance, utilities (all of which we pay for all of the apartments) and maintenance. We both will be chipping in each month quite a bit to make this all work, though admittedly, the houses are great long term investments.
In addition, I own a cottage. It’s just a little place on a small lake. It needed a lot of work, much of which we’ve done, and all of which we’ve done ourselves. Naturally, we also own three cars. Michael and I each have a small vehicle we drive everyday, though his is a convertible. But when we bought the cottage, we quickly realized that neither of our cars was fit for driving country roads and hauling boats, furniture and home remodeling supplies up north. So, we bought an Isuzu Trooper. It’s kind of old and Michael paid cash for it, but it looks great and runs like a dream. It’s a perfect cottage vehicle. If you look at it from our financial statements, everything makes perfect sense, but if you look at it from the outside, it appears we are living high off the hog.
And then there is the wedding... as I mentioned this can be tough to talk about around my girlfriends, none of whom are in happy relationships, and all but one of which are bitter about marriages. I guess I started not talking to them the day I fell in love with Michael. That sounds terrible, as though once I fell in love and I only talked to him, but that isn’t the case at all. I tried to talk to them about this new relationship I was in, but I felt their distance. They were polite and interested, but I became aware that they were also waiting to change the subject. I understood, I knew how boring it can be to hear someone rant and rave about their new relationship. Although because of that, I had tried to be really sensitive of it and only talk about it when asked. Unfortunately, even that seemed to be too much. As things got better and better, I got quieter and quieter with the girls. My friend Tracey is in a bad relationship, and I quickly realized that me mentioning the good in my life made her seethe. She tried not to show it, but she had spent so long talking about how bad her mate was, that when I had nothing but good things to say, it really bothered her. Although, she was always really happy when I’d mention an argument or a personality flaw.
You know, I read over what I just wrote and I think how terrible it makes these ladies sound, and that’s not it at all. If they weren’t truly wonderful friends, dear, caring people, I wouldn’t be friends with them at all. I don’t think their reactions are bad, or even something they can help. I know I have felt the same way about people who were going through streaks of good fortune. Somehow it is hard to stomach, and yet, if someone is going through a streak of bad fortune, all I want to do it help.
It doesn’t help that we’re having the wedding at the Art Museum and the reception at one of the most exclusive restaurants in town. What I’ve tried to explain is that the Art Museum was far more reasonable in cost than anywhere else I looked - plus they are cutting me a number of deals because I have a small party and the wedding will be taking place during business hours, so they don’t have to pay their security guards extra. The reception still amazes me. It was the first place I looked at, but I had done enough event planning to know that it was perfect. When they told me their room rental fee, it was less than half of what other places charge, and their food was right in line with, or even less, than most. It was actually quite a bargain - even compared to crappy banquet halls.
So, I’m in this strange place. If someone asks me about what’s going on in my life, I try to answer the best I can, but I am concerned, perhaps overly so, of being one of those people who only talk about themselves. The worst part is that one of my friends will ask me about something wedding related, and even though I try to keep the answer short and sweet, I can see the others rolling their eyes as I talk. And it isn’t just them. I am wary of doing the same thing here. I guess it feels safer when bona fortuna is looking my way to keep my cards close to my vest. I don't say anything about buying the house until it’s bought. I keep my wedding plans between myself and Michael. I don’t even talk about it with my sister, because her wedding is in June and I don't want to steal any of her thunder.
Yet at the same time, I’ve been getting grief from my friends about being so closed mouthed. They tease me because I didn’t tell them about the house, I try to explain it, and they seem to understand, but at the same time, they don’t. I think they miss the old me, the single me. The one who lived alone in her apartment, who didn’t plan vacations, weddings, or real estate deals. Truthfully, I think I was almost as secretive then, but there were smaller things to hide.
The New House