Two roads split off from here.
I have come back from the Franklin River, and for once since I departed for LAX in July, there is no more left to do. No more intineraries. Nothing left to plan out. To live. Just a few dying mellow moments with my dear friend Kieren and then a trip to the states.
I really feel like I found myself in the last few days. Maybe the past month. Maybe it was all that time in nature and thinking that I found really who I would like to be. And those last days in Hobart with Anna, talking to Reed so excitedly I couldn't speak straight, convulsing in giggles realizing what a lucky fool I am and how much I miss my friends back home, made me realize so much more about myself than maybe I'd ever known.
Tasmania feels like more of a home than Southern California. The possibility beyond the mindlessness of Southern California or just the mindlessness of young life entrapped in cities where the only source of fun is paid for. Burning at the top of a mountain, watching a storm roll in towards you, utterly alone after walking for six days and looking down to a tired but resolute figure plodding up the cliffs after you and screaming inside at the beauty of friendship and life. Taking the drops on the Franklin and living on the river for ten days, the beauty of nature and peace and silent relaxation while sleeping under cliffs and re-reading 1984. Even the city of Hobart seems "right".
I realized so much in these last few weeks. Those little things can barely stir me up anymore. I just laugh and think of a wonderful car ride and "oh yeah fucker yeah you'll get yours". I can't explain it perhaps. I just know that I've changed myself forever in these last few days. I suppose a small subtle explanation could be given by the Overland Track and our journey there. Something akin to that Kerouac quote: "those are the ones for me. those who are mad to live mad to talk mad to be saved, desirous of everything at once...". But now I'll go home to Kieren and melt into the arms of my 6'4 friend as he waits for me to come home so we can hang out again, and get excited as I run up the steps, coming home to that excited yell of "Ted!".
I know what I want.
http://photobucket.com/albums/v624/annasannapanna/overland/
I really feel like I found myself in the last few days. Maybe the past month. Maybe it was all that time in nature and thinking that I found really who I would like to be. And those last days in Hobart with Anna, talking to Reed so excitedly I couldn't speak straight, convulsing in giggles realizing what a lucky fool I am and how much I miss my friends back home, made me realize so much more about myself than maybe I'd ever known.
Tasmania feels like more of a home than Southern California. The possibility beyond the mindlessness of Southern California or just the mindlessness of young life entrapped in cities where the only source of fun is paid for. Burning at the top of a mountain, watching a storm roll in towards you, utterly alone after walking for six days and looking down to a tired but resolute figure plodding up the cliffs after you and screaming inside at the beauty of friendship and life. Taking the drops on the Franklin and living on the river for ten days, the beauty of nature and peace and silent relaxation while sleeping under cliffs and re-reading 1984. Even the city of Hobart seems "right".
I realized so much in these last few weeks. Those little things can barely stir me up anymore. I just laugh and think of a wonderful car ride and "oh yeah fucker yeah you'll get yours". I can't explain it perhaps. I just know that I've changed myself forever in these last few days. I suppose a small subtle explanation could be given by the Overland Track and our journey there. Something akin to that Kerouac quote: "those are the ones for me. those who are mad to live mad to talk mad to be saved, desirous of everything at once...". But now I'll go home to Kieren and melt into the arms of my 6'4 friend as he waits for me to come home so we can hang out again, and get excited as I run up the steps, coming home to that excited yell of "Ted!".
I know what I want.
http://photobucket.com/albums/v624/annasannapanna/overland/