OH FOR THE SAKE OF MOMENTUM
You must be pretty bored, secretly I am too. I applied for the MFA internship and was called for an interview (same day as prom, which may go some way to explaining my ennui), which basically went smoothly til the end when I got zhammed. I was interviewed by a panel of five - the four women were very nice and seemed pleased; they asked me questions in turn of increasing embarrassment factor, but it was nothing antagonistic. Why did you apply for the MFA internship (for a moment my mind went blank except for the huge flashing words, FOREIGN AFFAIRS, but I quelled this manfully), what about foreign policy interests you, what would make you a good FSO ... your grades are very good, to what do you attribute your success? To this last I told the truth, which was, very good luck and very good teachers, but suspecting they found this slimy, I hastily cooked something up about thriving in crisis, which is arguably true up to a point, and having a clear idea what is important to me, which is true but usually unrelated to academics. So it was going well until the women turned to the last guy on the interview panel, who had been pretty quiet, and asked if he had any questions. To which he said: your grades are so good, and you are so obviously academic - even the examples you bring up are academic - so I guess my question is ... do you have a life outside of school, hm? Do you have a personal life?
At this point I displayed the full range of qualities that make me a lousy interviewee. One ... you know in Back to the Future, every time Marty McFly gets called chicken, he kind of goes pale with rage and then something bad happens? So I got mad for no real reason. Two, I started making flip remarks, which was a waste of my carefully constructed sober, earnest image. And three ... I almost told the truth, which I understand is no more at issue in an interview than thirst at a wine tasting or fashion at a striptease ... as we have read. The last time I did this was in my Humanities scholarship interview, when following a barrage of questions insinuating that my father was an Enemy of the State (because he's not a Singaporean citizen) and that by extension his children were class enemies and could never be Red Guards!!! I lost my temper slightly and in answer to the question "So do you think your father will be leaving Singapore anytime soon?" I suggested sarcastically that I thought my mother would be a little upset if he did. MISTAKE
So I embarked on a long answer that made a number of points. I said that ... the examples I raised were academic because the questions posed were academic, and the credentials required of me had been academic. I should perhaps have said that ... if I have no personal life, what of it, as that is surely a virtue in an FSO who must be on standby 24/7, and actually at work much of that time. In fact I said ... surely the point of a personal life is that it is personal. And discretion is surely a positive quality in an FSO. And then I said ... it would require remarkable insight to discern a personal life from my entirely academic CV.
But ill-advised answers aside I was ironically struck by the truth of something I came up with on the spot, which was also true: that I had been talking about my school life simply because in broad terms, if one doesn't venture into specifics, everyone's personal life is basically the same. It is the specifics that set us apart, and it is the specifics that are nobody's business but one's own. "I read, and I go out, and I go to the movies, and I go to parties, and for lunch and dinner, I go to town, I ..." - what does one say? Even the ostensibly unusual quality - I like to play the piano, I am a youth group leader, I go jet-skiing, I volunteer at the SPCA. These describe thousands. The specifics are, who did you see for lunch or dinner, what transpired after two or three drinks, what did you talk about, why were you there in the first place, did he really, what does it matter ... and really these things are no one's business. Not even yours, lately, Livejournal.
I didn't say all of this, I was in a bad mood and put pith before point. I had earlier mentioned that the life of a Hwa Chong Humanities student as far as I could tell was a fair approximation of that of an FSO - alternating parties and crisis, so one of the women said ... well tell me about the best party you've been to. Your favourite of all of them. My mind touched the obvious answer, blanched, cast around frantically, recovered. I'm trying to think of something I can say aloud in a government ministry without getting into trouble, I said ... so I hope you will take it on faith that I have a personal life, but one that is far too exciting to mention. And then I gave them my best smile. Which seemed to amuse most of them, even if my answer made me sound like a terrorist, so that was okay. And strangely the most truthful I've been in an interview. Unrelatedly, I got the internship! I hope it will go well.
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So, Livejournal. Rest assured I have a personal life that has reasserted itself strongly now that the A levels are over, and indeed hardly stood back at a respectful distance all year even when I could have used the space to concentrate on academics. I hope you will take it on faith. And I have been happy! Life has, however, continued to alternate parties with crises, even if the nature of the crises has changed. So I am in some ways also glad to be going away for a few days to think about things (though I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't rather be here dealing with things). But I hope you are all having a nice time, with parties, and crises only to the extent that you enjoy them (which I arguably do).
At this point I displayed the full range of qualities that make me a lousy interviewee. One ... you know in Back to the Future, every time Marty McFly gets called chicken, he kind of goes pale with rage and then something bad happens? So I got mad for no real reason. Two, I started making flip remarks, which was a waste of my carefully constructed sober, earnest image. And three ... I almost told the truth, which I understand is no more at issue in an interview than thirst at a wine tasting or fashion at a striptease ... as we have read. The last time I did this was in my Humanities scholarship interview, when following a barrage of questions insinuating that my father was an Enemy of the State (because he's not a Singaporean citizen) and that by extension his children were class enemies and could never be Red Guards!!! I lost my temper slightly and in answer to the question "So do you think your father will be leaving Singapore anytime soon?" I suggested sarcastically that I thought my mother would be a little upset if he did. MISTAKE
So I embarked on a long answer that made a number of points. I said that ... the examples I raised were academic because the questions posed were academic, and the credentials required of me had been academic. I should perhaps have said that ... if I have no personal life, what of it, as that is surely a virtue in an FSO who must be on standby 24/7, and actually at work much of that time. In fact I said ... surely the point of a personal life is that it is personal. And discretion is surely a positive quality in an FSO. And then I said ... it would require remarkable insight to discern a personal life from my entirely academic CV.
But ill-advised answers aside I was ironically struck by the truth of something I came up with on the spot, which was also true: that I had been talking about my school life simply because in broad terms, if one doesn't venture into specifics, everyone's personal life is basically the same. It is the specifics that set us apart, and it is the specifics that are nobody's business but one's own. "I read, and I go out, and I go to the movies, and I go to parties, and for lunch and dinner, I go to town, I ..." - what does one say? Even the ostensibly unusual quality - I like to play the piano, I am a youth group leader, I go jet-skiing, I volunteer at the SPCA. These describe thousands. The specifics are, who did you see for lunch or dinner, what transpired after two or three drinks, what did you talk about, why were you there in the first place, did he really, what does it matter ... and really these things are no one's business. Not even yours, lately, Livejournal.
I didn't say all of this, I was in a bad mood and put pith before point. I had earlier mentioned that the life of a Hwa Chong Humanities student as far as I could tell was a fair approximation of that of an FSO - alternating parties and crisis, so one of the women said ... well tell me about the best party you've been to. Your favourite of all of them. My mind touched the obvious answer, blanched, cast around frantically, recovered. I'm trying to think of something I can say aloud in a government ministry without getting into trouble, I said ... so I hope you will take it on faith that I have a personal life, but one that is far too exciting to mention. And then I gave them my best smile. Which seemed to amuse most of them, even if my answer made me sound like a terrorist, so that was okay. And strangely the most truthful I've been in an interview. Unrelatedly, I got the internship! I hope it will go well.
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So, Livejournal. Rest assured I have a personal life that has reasserted itself strongly now that the A levels are over, and indeed hardly stood back at a respectful distance all year even when I could have used the space to concentrate on academics. I hope you will take it on faith. And I have been happy! Life has, however, continued to alternate parties with crises, even if the nature of the crises has changed. So I am in some ways also glad to be going away for a few days to think about things (though I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't rather be here dealing with things). But I hope you are all having a nice time, with parties, and crises only to the extent that you enjoy them (which I arguably do).