if only...
okay so i like this guy as all of you know named Steve. if you didn't know that well then now you do! and today i hung out with him. he makes me so incredibly happy. noone could possibly know how i much i feel for him. i know hes not ready for a relationship and all, but who knows, what if hes never ready. i mean i just want the chance to be held in his arms and called his. i just wish that i meant something to him, more than a friend. cause thats all i am. a good friend. but he told me he liked me and that he wanted to go out with me, was he lying? am i just stupid and didn't realize that i had the perfect chance? do i even have a chance? i wish i knew. because i dont think i'll ever find someone as genuine as he is. hes nothing but smiles and laughter. its all i ever do when im with him. he makes sure that im having a good time, and that im smiling. i just thought that maybe someone really did care about me. and then Zack and Lorraine made me realize that if hes not ready for a relationship, then why is he doing this to me. why is he leading me on in such a way that im trapped? every kiss pulls me farther under the surface. im starting to get the hopeless feeling all over again. the feeling that no matter how hard i try i'll never be good enough for him. ever. i know i wont be. im just the "good" friend. why cant i be anything more? because i really want to be. hes all i think about day in and day out. hes the best thing to come my way in a while. everyone thinks so. but everyone also believes that what he has been doing is wrong and that i should stop. and god damnit im going to try, because i love the feeling he gives me when we're together, but i hate the after taste. afterwards i feel so unhappy because im not near him. i feel so useless and unwanted when im away from him or not talking to him. i judt dont know why to do with myself anymore. can i get some help from the friends? please... because you guys know me better than anyone... thanks...
well today was a pretty interesting day at school... mr. punk kid jon is in my va/us hiastory class aswell and my oceanography class.. its so hilarious! mr. jacobs is so awesome though. acts black, but is awesome. hahah zack has mr. doney which is cool and he has study block with roy in mrs. clarks room! yes the little asian lady! hahah its so great. shes definately a communist though. hahah or at least i think so and zack and roy! hahah uhh... geometry x kinda sucked.. ryan robinson is in that class with me.. unfortunately. hes so annoying at times. he just never stops talking. and hes just an ass. i hate it! but yeah i think im just going to go talk to Roy about my problemo, because noone else is online to listen... so adios amigos.. nothin' but love <333
((COMMENTS WELCOME))
sarah elizabeth aka sharpie
well today was a pretty interesting day at school... mr. punk kid jon is in my va/us hiastory class aswell and my oceanography class.. its so hilarious! mr. jacobs is so awesome though. acts black, but is awesome. hahah zack has mr. doney which is cool and he has study block with roy in mrs. clarks room! yes the little asian lady! hahah its so great. shes definately a communist though. hahah or at least i think so and zack and roy! hahah uhh... geometry x kinda sucked.. ryan robinson is in that class with me.. unfortunately. hes so annoying at times. he just never stops talking. and hes just an ass. i hate it! but yeah i think im just going to go talk to Roy about my problemo, because noone else is online to listen... so adios amigos.. nothin' but love <333
((COMMENTS WELCOME))
sarah elizabeth aka sharpie