Comfortably Numb
Time has flown very quickly and now that the semester has ended, Ive realized this year or even this semester has greatly changed my life. It was the first 5 month period where I only encountered 1 bad day. I was happy for so very long and Ive come to realize that im starting to get a little depressed and it is because im in a relationship. My whole life has just been a series of relationships with no breaks in between. Ive been single for about a total of 15 days during the past 2 years. Even though I am with a girl that I have fallen for faster than probably anyone before with the exception of Jenny, I am just not happy. I just want her to be cool but she is this immature girl who always has the need to play around and joke when I am not in the joking mood.
Another aspect with her is that when we arent hooking up, She just gets cranky and is a big time bitch that I cant stand. In the words of my good friends The Used "Take out the bed, and we'd have nothing left." I feel the only thing that is keeping this relationship up is the amount of sex. Which is being proven right now because she is on her one week leave from being able to have sex and it has proven that our relationship is very boring.
This relationship is so different too because normally I would be doing anything possible to do sweet things for her like I used to do for jenny and for Nicole, instead im just bitter towards it and Im lazy because our hangout times consist of sitting on her bed or my bed or sitting at one of our parties with her watching every move I make and me worrying what brother of mine she will be hanging off of next. We are about to go on break and Im really not sure what I should do. She lives very far away and I probably wont see her for a little while.
I used to be so passionate about these kind of things and now I feel so senseless and I hate it! I feel almost numb and my life is just a routine now of going to class and doing homework and sitting on a bed and then drinking, then repeat the next week. I need a change. I need to feel alive again.
Im somewhat depressed yet so happy at the same time, Im not sure, but I know I will get out of this funk...I always do?
AJ
Another aspect with her is that when we arent hooking up, She just gets cranky and is a big time bitch that I cant stand. In the words of my good friends The Used "Take out the bed, and we'd have nothing left." I feel the only thing that is keeping this relationship up is the amount of sex. Which is being proven right now because she is on her one week leave from being able to have sex and it has proven that our relationship is very boring.
This relationship is so different too because normally I would be doing anything possible to do sweet things for her like I used to do for jenny and for Nicole, instead im just bitter towards it and Im lazy because our hangout times consist of sitting on her bed or my bed or sitting at one of our parties with her watching every move I make and me worrying what brother of mine she will be hanging off of next. We are about to go on break and Im really not sure what I should do. She lives very far away and I probably wont see her for a little while.
I used to be so passionate about these kind of things and now I feel so senseless and I hate it! I feel almost numb and my life is just a routine now of going to class and doing homework and sitting on a bed and then drinking, then repeat the next week. I need a change. I need to feel alive again.
Im somewhat depressed yet so happy at the same time, Im not sure, but I know I will get out of this funk...I always do?
AJ