(no subject)
AHHHHHH :) It all hit me tonight.
It's so crazy. Jack kerouac taught me such an important lesson when I read On The Road, and it's if as i almost forgot what he was telling me. I think maybe he is one of the few people who have found true happiness. I remember this amazing line from the book...
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn, burn, burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww"
Yes, exactly :) It reminded me of a time when I was probably my happiest and that is at Put-In-Bay in the summers... It reminded me of when I was free and there was not an outside world. 4th of July when I would lay on the grass and watch the roman candles explode like he talked about. A rush of amazing events of freedom granted to me that few people ever experience. Wonderful days working and meeting amazing people and nights walking home under a star studded sky and just smiling on my walks home from some adventure. Sometimes at the bay I would just be walking home drunk at night and scream because I was so free and happy. And now I'm so angry with myself because I have become this person who dwells on every little thing, every little worry in every little corner of life. Life is too short to be worrying about how to solve stupid shit and worry about getting lost or falling off the path. In the end, we will just get there. So here I have been... worrying about this fucking girl who has just become this massive bitch and won't ever be nice again when there are millions of people out there that I could meet just as easy as the next one. Friends that can replace the others if they are lost. The world is pretty much infinite which leaves little room for problems. From now on life will be day by day and if shit happens it happens. It's time to just go out on that road and just take it as it comes. Dont worry just laugh at the bad and enjoy the good like it's never going to stop. Ahhhhh :) I wish i we're with some one right now. I want to just run outside and scream and jump and roll on the ground and get dirty and not care and get drunk and go crazy :) I'm tired of worrying everyday that there will be a stupid problem and spend all day thinking about what I need to do to solve it when I can just be out there being happy that I'm just here :)
thanks for listening... even though no one does anymore :)
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
byeeeeeeee
It's so crazy. Jack kerouac taught me such an important lesson when I read On The Road, and it's if as i almost forgot what he was telling me. I think maybe he is one of the few people who have found true happiness. I remember this amazing line from the book...
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn, burn, burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww"
Yes, exactly :) It reminded me of a time when I was probably my happiest and that is at Put-In-Bay in the summers... It reminded me of when I was free and there was not an outside world. 4th of July when I would lay on the grass and watch the roman candles explode like he talked about. A rush of amazing events of freedom granted to me that few people ever experience. Wonderful days working and meeting amazing people and nights walking home under a star studded sky and just smiling on my walks home from some adventure. Sometimes at the bay I would just be walking home drunk at night and scream because I was so free and happy. And now I'm so angry with myself because I have become this person who dwells on every little thing, every little worry in every little corner of life. Life is too short to be worrying about how to solve stupid shit and worry about getting lost or falling off the path. In the end, we will just get there. So here I have been... worrying about this fucking girl who has just become this massive bitch and won't ever be nice again when there are millions of people out there that I could meet just as easy as the next one. Friends that can replace the others if they are lost. The world is pretty much infinite which leaves little room for problems. From now on life will be day by day and if shit happens it happens. It's time to just go out on that road and just take it as it comes. Dont worry just laugh at the bad and enjoy the good like it's never going to stop. Ahhhhh :) I wish i we're with some one right now. I want to just run outside and scream and jump and roll on the ground and get dirty and not care and get drunk and go crazy :) I'm tired of worrying everyday that there will be a stupid problem and spend all day thinking about what I need to do to solve it when I can just be out there being happy that I'm just here :)
thanks for listening... even though no one does anymore :)
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
byeeeeeeee