Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000: Seaon 2 - Ep 11 'Another Chance At Love' (Chapter 18!)
Prepare for the HORROR as the 18th (yes, eighteenth) chapter of Another Chance At Love gets its well deserved sporking.
Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000
Sung by: House and The Ducklings
Written by: Marco and The Marcos
In a not too distant future
Next Tuesday more or less
There was the acerbic Dr. House
who of rules couldn't care less
He worked at Princeton Hospital,
No white coat for him as usual
He worked on cases which were really weird
And when he noticed bad!fic his evil side was thrilled...
'I'll read my colleagues cheesy bad!fic,
The worse I can find,
They'll have to sit and read them all
and I'll monitor their minds (if they have any).'
Now keep in mind House can control
when the bad!fic begins or ends
But don't you dare think that he'd ever spare
his dear colleagues and friends
Princeton role call:
Cuddy (I am NOT a Transsexual!)
Foreman (I've acted with Takeshi Kitano!)
Chase (Andie ASKED ME to kiss her!)
Cameron (I don't love House!)
WIIIIIILSON! (I'm not fat!)
If you wonder how they eat and breathe
and other science facts
Now keep in mind "It's a hospital,
I should really just relax,
House: Did I mention Tritter's here?
Tritter: Happiness is a complete wreckage of Stupid Author Girl's computer...
For Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000!!!"
House's passing his three new ducklings through a very serious training...
House: Brace yourselves, because today you'll visit a classic of terrible stories: 'ChibiUsa's 7th Birthday'!
New Ducklings: NOOOOOOO!
House walks out, where Cuddy presents him with the new chapter of 'Another Chance At Love'.
Cuddy: She updated it.
House: NOOOOOOOOOO!
House, Cuddy, Wilson, Chase, Foreman, Cameron, Jack, Bree, Mark, Derek and Sawyer meet in House's office and House presses the button.
Lights flicker around and everybody screams
All: AAAAAA.... WE'VE GOT BAD!FIC SIGN!!!
[House's office, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, House's office again]
A/N: Hey here's chapter 18. The morning after the casino.
Mark: As 'casino' in Italian means also 'mess', we can say that the sentence is fairly accurate...
Chase: *sings* There's got to be a morning after the casino...
House and Cameron awoke in a bed together with a
Chase: Corpse!
major headache also they
noticed that neither of them were wearing clothes,
Cuddy: They were wearing rugs though.
what could that mean? Did
they actually do it together?
Foreman: I call no way.
"Morning," Cameron said a bit light headed.
Mark: As usual.
"Morning." House replied back to her. He had known what they had done
Derek: Last Summer!
and the
worst thing about that was he couldn't see any
Bree: Thing to kill himself with?
protection anywhere.
Wilson: In the world!
"Allison please tell me you were on birth control," House said hopefully.
Cameron: *sigh* I guess I'm not.
"Um... no I haven't
Cuddy: *CaMoron voice* Because I'm going to have your baby then sue your ass off in family court! Muahaaahhahah!!!
All men: *flinch* *keep as far away from the women as they can*
because I didn't expect things to move so fast in our
relationship.
House: What relationship?
But I doubt I'm pregnant I will only go in for a pregnancy test if
I start feeling nauseous or other symptoms of pregnancy in about two weeks so
pretty much the end of our holiday before we go back to New Jersey," she said,
Bree: Then she forgot to breathe and she suffocated. The End.
"for now lets just try to enjoy the company of your mother,
All: EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
speaking of who I
wonder where she got to last night."
Cameron: Who did she do last night?
Foreman: Why, Dear Departed Dad, of course.
All: NECROPHILIA??? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
"Well, she's probably in bed with a hang over, hopefully she went to bed alone
last night," House said
Mark: House, that's not very nice. Then again, it's House after all...
but his hopes were shattered when he saw another guy go
past
Bree: *horrified* His hopes of WHAT? Of scoring with his mom????
Chase: Oedipus House.
so he spoke to him from the bed.
Cameron: Where did he thought he was speaking from, the windowsill?
"Who are you?" House questioned the guy.
Mark: *other guy* I am the guardian of the Hell.
"Carlos, I live here,"
House: Dummy, my name isn't Carlos!
he replied, "I have been seeing Caragh for a year now,
Derek: *Carlos* I am psychic, by the way.
Chase: Waitasec, didn't House's biological dad die a year before?
Cameron: I smell a murder...
who are you?"
All: *sing* Whooo are you? Who who, who who? Whooo are you? Who who, who who?
"I'm her son, Gregory House, how did you and my mother come to meet?" House
asked as if he was interrogating him.
Wilson: Who cares?
Crickets: *chirp*
"We met in the downtown casino, she was playing poker and I was playing poker,
Mark: *Torgo voice* I TaKe cARe Of tHe PlACe wHEN ThE MasTER iS AwAy.
she is the most amazing poker player by the way," Carlos said.
Derek: Here's a quarter. Go call someone who gives a damn.
"Well, then where were you yesterday and last night when we arrived?" Cameron
asked curiously.
Cameron: And here she butts in. *Again*.
"I was working because I have a 12 hour working job at an export and import
company, my shift is from midday until midnight," Carlos explained.
Jack: *Carlos* Now, you do understand I have an alibi for the time the murder was committed...
"Well you do look awfully young. How old are you!" House demanded.
Sawyer: *Carlos* I can't answer a statement! Pose me a question!
"I'm 45, why? Why does age matter if two people like each other very much, I
mean you and the girl you're with, she's half your age isn't she?" Carlos said
as if trying to defend his honor or something.
All: PLOOOT CONTRIVANCE!
"well, how do you know we're dating?" he questioned.
Chase: You're in bed together, scantily clad... I have no clue why.
"It's quite obvious you are in the same bed together and from what I can see you
are both nude," Carlos said.
Cameron: Well, DUH.
"Well that's different because that's my mother,
Foreman: Cameron's your mother?
now go away," House said as
Carlos left.
Sawyer: Laughing like a maniac.
After Carlos left House and Cameron finally decided to get up out of bed,
Wilson: As opposed to get up inside of the bed...
they
decided that instead of having a marriage back in New Jersey they will get
married on their last day
Cuddy: on Earth, they'll be together while the planet dies.
in vegas which wasn't for another two weeks yet.
All: EH?
Cameron went rummaging through Caragh's cupboards to see what she could find to
make for breakfast, all she found was
House: Marijuana...
stuff to make pancakes and maple syrup so
she made it.
Cuddy: STUFF TO MAKE PANCAKES? Was it too much to write 'pancakes' alone???
House enjoyed breakfast in quiet until Caragh came out from her bedroom.
Tritter: Are we on the set of 'Everybody Loves Gregory'?
"I left you some pancakes in the fridge," Cameron said breaking the silence.
Cuddy: Sexism against men at its lowest.
Mark: *nods*
Cameron: *confused* What?
Cuddy: Breaking The Silence. That fake documentary PBS showed. Full of lies and nothing else.
Chase: Reeeturning to our scheduled riffing...
"Oh, thanks," she replied.
"Why didn't you tell me about Carlos?" House questioned.
House: Why should I care?
"Because, it's not that serious I was actually thinking about breaking it off
with him," Caragh said.
Wilson: Besides, it's not like she's cheating on you!
"Well, he doesn't seem to think that, he seems to think that you are in love
with him, tell him now before I do, it's gonna break his heart," House said as
if he cared, but really he just wanted the silence restored to the kitchen.
All: ...Que?
"Fine," she said as she left with a plate of pancakes ready to dump her
boyfriend.
Chase: To sweeten the fall?
After Caragh left, House and Cameron decided to discuss the wedding, they knew
that they only wanted it to be between them and maybe House's mother and then
when they get back they will play games with everyone else.
Cuddy: Cameron insisted for Candyland, while House wouldn't accept nothing short of Snakes And Ladders.
"So, today or tomorrow do you want to go shopping for a wedding dress?" House
asked her.
Women: How casual.
"Sure, I already have something in mind, but not today, because remember we are
going to the see Catherine Willows today in regards to my sister remember?"
Cameron said, nearly forgetting about that.
All: Please do.
"Oh yeah, I haven't heard from them in a while, or maybe they have tried but we
have had our phones off, and she doesn't exactly know where we're staying, go
check your phone and I'll check mine," House said as they both went to grab for
their phones.
Chase: And took a deep breath.
"I have five missed calls," Cameron said,
Foreman: That American remake sucked SO bad... like the sequels to the original.
"three are from Catherine, one is from
Wilson and the other is from
Cameron: *herself* the future, and it's how I'm gonna die!
my mum but not one of them left a message, we
should go now," Cameron said as she got her jacket and House did the same then
they left.
Mark: House got Cameron's jacket too?
HOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOSUEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSE
All: STOP IT!
Once they arrived they went to the front desk and Cameron asked, "Hi, I'm
Allison Cameron, can I talk to Catherine Willows please?"
All: NO.
The lady behind the desk looked up and said, "Sure, she has been expecting you,
she called you three times. Right this way," she said getting up to lead them to
Catherine's office, she just knocked on the door and left House and Cameron
standing there awaiting the door to open and when it did Catherine told them to
come in and sit down.
All: *snore*
"I thought you two would come soon, I have some news but first I need you to
identify a body for me," Catherine said.
Derek: Wow. Classy.
Cameron feared the worst, either her sister was dead or that nasty Sara
Mcfinnigan was dead, but they got up and followed Catherine to the morgue to see
if it was Maria or Sara.
Chase: She cares about McFinnigan?
Once Cameron saw she gasped.
Tritter: Something's missing here!
"That's my sister, who did that to her, even though she tried to kill me, I love
her," Cameron said.
Jack: What's, with, all, those, excess, commas?
"She didn't try and kill you Allison, she was put up to it by Sara Mcfinnigan.
Your sister tried to stick up for you and herself to Sara and she murdered your
sister, we have her behind bars though," Catherine said,
Bree: Your sister murdered your sister?
House: Contradictions galore around here!!!!
"but we are just gonna
have to have you identify her, we can do it behind a glass mirror where she
can't see you but you can see her, we just need to know that we got the right
person," Catherine finished as Cameron nodded.
Foreman: Has this girl ever SEEN CSI?
"I wanna see her though, there will be police officers in the room won't there?"
Cameron asked.
Sawyer: No. They all hate your sorry guts.
"Yeah but I don't think it's the best idea, but it's your choice," Catherine
said.
All: *gag*
"I want to see her," Cameron decided, as Catherine ordered some officers to
bring Sara to a room, where she also took House and Cameron.
All: The PANIC ROOM!!!!
Once in the room Catherin told them they have five minutes.
Tritter: The 'e' is missing!!
"Why did you do it Sara? you never had to see me again, you could have just left
it but now you through away the rest of your life over me," Cameron started.
Wilson: You 'through' away?
"You're a bitch and so is your sister, when will you learn that I was always
gonna come after you, you're just lucky I was caught before I got to you again,
but mark my words Allison Cameron, when I get out of here, I will come back
after you," Sara finished as the cops took her away again.
Cameron: What IS she, Michael Myers?
Chase: From the 'intelligence' displayed, I'd guess Jason Voorhees is more likely.
A/N: So what did you guys think was it alright,
All: *hold up fingers in the OK sign* It stank!
plus sorry for not updaing in
ages.
Derek: Matter is, you shouldn't have updated!
[1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... back to House's office]
House: DDX?
Chase: What about no?
Foreman: Ditto.
Cameron: Me too.
Cuddy: Me three.
Wilson: Me four.
Derek: Me five.
Mark: Me six.
Jack: Me seven.
Sawyer: Me eight.
Bree: Me nine.
House: OK guys and gals, let's leave and... will somebody push the button?
Everybody pushes it at once.
PRINCETON PLAINSBORO THEATRE 3000
ANOTHER CHANCE AT LOVE (CHAPTER 18)
VERY!BAD!FIC BY LiL-mIz-WhItE-gUrL
MST BY TheWaughnMan
KEEP CIRCULATING THE FICS
-_^
Stinger: "Well that's different because that's my mother, now go away," House said as
Carlos left.
A Servolicious Production.
[ Our doctor today is |
creative ]
Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000
Sung by: House and The Ducklings
Written by: Marco and The Marcos
In a not too distant future
Next Tuesday more or less
There was the acerbic Dr. House
who of rules couldn't care less
He worked at Princeton Hospital,
No white coat for him as usual
He worked on cases which were really weird
And when he noticed bad!fic his evil side was thrilled...
'I'll read my colleagues cheesy bad!fic,
The worse I can find,
They'll have to sit and read them all
and I'll monitor their minds (if they have any).'
Now keep in mind House can control
when the bad!fic begins or ends
But don't you dare think that he'd ever spare
his dear colleagues and friends
Princeton role call:
Cuddy (I am NOT a Transsexual!)
Foreman (I've acted with Takeshi Kitano!)
Chase (Andie ASKED ME to kiss her!)
Cameron (I don't love House!)
WIIIIIILSON! (I'm not fat!)
If you wonder how they eat and breathe
and other science facts
Now keep in mind "It's a hospital,
I should really just relax,
House: Did I mention Tritter's here?
Tritter: Happiness is a complete wreckage of Stupid Author Girl's computer...
For Princeton Plainsboro Theatre 3000!!!"
House's passing his three new ducklings through a very serious training...
House: Brace yourselves, because today you'll visit a classic of terrible stories: 'ChibiUsa's 7th Birthday'!
New Ducklings: NOOOOOOO!
House walks out, where Cuddy presents him with the new chapter of 'Another Chance At Love'.
Cuddy: She updated it.
House: NOOOOOOOOOO!
House, Cuddy, Wilson, Chase, Foreman, Cameron, Jack, Bree, Mark, Derek and Sawyer meet in House's office and House presses the button.
Lights flicker around and everybody screams
All: AAAAAA.... WE'VE GOT BAD!FIC SIGN!!!
[House's office, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, House's office again]
A/N: Hey here's chapter 18. The morning after the casino.
Mark: As 'casino' in Italian means also 'mess', we can say that the sentence is fairly accurate...
Chase: *sings* There's got to be a morning after the casino...
House and Cameron awoke in a bed together with a
Chase: Corpse!
major headache also they
noticed that neither of them were wearing clothes,
Cuddy: They were wearing rugs though.
what could that mean? Did
they actually do it together?
Foreman: I call no way.
"Morning," Cameron said a bit light headed.
Mark: As usual.
"Morning." House replied back to her. He had known what they had done
Derek: Last Summer!
and the
worst thing about that was he couldn't see any
Bree: Thing to kill himself with?
protection anywhere.
Wilson: In the world!
"Allison please tell me you were on birth control," House said hopefully.
Cameron: *sigh* I guess I'm not.
"Um... no I haven't
Cuddy: *CaMoron voice* Because I'm going to have your baby then sue your ass off in family court! Muahaaahhahah!!!
All men: *flinch* *keep as far away from the women as they can*
because I didn't expect things to move so fast in our
relationship.
House: What relationship?
But I doubt I'm pregnant I will only go in for a pregnancy test if
I start feeling nauseous or other symptoms of pregnancy in about two weeks so
pretty much the end of our holiday before we go back to New Jersey," she said,
Bree: Then she forgot to breathe and she suffocated. The End.
"for now lets just try to enjoy the company of your mother,
All: EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
speaking of who I
wonder where she got to last night."
Cameron: Who did she do last night?
Foreman: Why, Dear Departed Dad, of course.
All: NECROPHILIA??? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
"Well, she's probably in bed with a hang over, hopefully she went to bed alone
last night," House said
Mark: House, that's not very nice. Then again, it's House after all...
but his hopes were shattered when he saw another guy go
past
Bree: *horrified* His hopes of WHAT? Of scoring with his mom????
Chase: Oedipus House.
so he spoke to him from the bed.
Cameron: Where did he thought he was speaking from, the windowsill?
"Who are you?" House questioned the guy.
Mark: *other guy* I am the guardian of the Hell.
"Carlos, I live here,"
House: Dummy, my name isn't Carlos!
he replied, "I have been seeing Caragh for a year now,
Derek: *Carlos* I am psychic, by the way.
Chase: Waitasec, didn't House's biological dad die a year before?
Cameron: I smell a murder...
who are you?"
All: *sing* Whooo are you? Who who, who who? Whooo are you? Who who, who who?
"I'm her son, Gregory House, how did you and my mother come to meet?" House
asked as if he was interrogating him.
Wilson: Who cares?
Crickets: *chirp*
"We met in the downtown casino, she was playing poker and I was playing poker,
Mark: *Torgo voice* I TaKe cARe Of tHe PlACe wHEN ThE MasTER iS AwAy.
she is the most amazing poker player by the way," Carlos said.
Derek: Here's a quarter. Go call someone who gives a damn.
"Well, then where were you yesterday and last night when we arrived?" Cameron
asked curiously.
Cameron: And here she butts in. *Again*.
"I was working because I have a 12 hour working job at an export and import
company, my shift is from midday until midnight," Carlos explained.
Jack: *Carlos* Now, you do understand I have an alibi for the time the murder was committed...
"Well you do look awfully young. How old are you!" House demanded.
Sawyer: *Carlos* I can't answer a statement! Pose me a question!
"I'm 45, why? Why does age matter if two people like each other very much, I
mean you and the girl you're with, she's half your age isn't she?" Carlos said
as if trying to defend his honor or something.
All: PLOOOT CONTRIVANCE!
"well, how do you know we're dating?" he questioned.
Chase: You're in bed together, scantily clad... I have no clue why.
"It's quite obvious you are in the same bed together and from what I can see you
are both nude," Carlos said.
Cameron: Well, DUH.
"Well that's different because that's my mother,
Foreman: Cameron's your mother?
now go away," House said as
Carlos left.
Sawyer: Laughing like a maniac.
After Carlos left House and Cameron finally decided to get up out of bed,
Wilson: As opposed to get up inside of the bed...
they
decided that instead of having a marriage back in New Jersey they will get
married on their last day
Cuddy: on Earth, they'll be together while the planet dies.
in vegas which wasn't for another two weeks yet.
All: EH?
Cameron went rummaging through Caragh's cupboards to see what she could find to
make for breakfast, all she found was
House: Marijuana...
stuff to make pancakes and maple syrup so
she made it.
Cuddy: STUFF TO MAKE PANCAKES? Was it too much to write 'pancakes' alone???
House enjoyed breakfast in quiet until Caragh came out from her bedroom.
Tritter: Are we on the set of 'Everybody Loves Gregory'?
"I left you some pancakes in the fridge," Cameron said breaking the silence.
Cuddy: Sexism against men at its lowest.
Mark: *nods*
Cameron: *confused* What?
Cuddy: Breaking The Silence. That fake documentary PBS showed. Full of lies and nothing else.
Chase: Reeeturning to our scheduled riffing...
"Oh, thanks," she replied.
"Why didn't you tell me about Carlos?" House questioned.
House: Why should I care?
"Because, it's not that serious I was actually thinking about breaking it off
with him," Caragh said.
Wilson: Besides, it's not like she's cheating on you!
"Well, he doesn't seem to think that, he seems to think that you are in love
with him, tell him now before I do, it's gonna break his heart," House said as
if he cared, but really he just wanted the silence restored to the kitchen.
All: ...Que?
"Fine," she said as she left with a plate of pancakes ready to dump her
boyfriend.
Chase: To sweeten the fall?
After Caragh left, House and Cameron decided to discuss the wedding, they knew
that they only wanted it to be between them and maybe House's mother and then
when they get back they will play games with everyone else.
Cuddy: Cameron insisted for Candyland, while House wouldn't accept nothing short of Snakes And Ladders.
"So, today or tomorrow do you want to go shopping for a wedding dress?" House
asked her.
Women: How casual.
"Sure, I already have something in mind, but not today, because remember we are
going to the see Catherine Willows today in regards to my sister remember?"
Cameron said, nearly forgetting about that.
All: Please do.
"Oh yeah, I haven't heard from them in a while, or maybe they have tried but we
have had our phones off, and she doesn't exactly know where we're staying, go
check your phone and I'll check mine," House said as they both went to grab for
their phones.
Chase: And took a deep breath.
"I have five missed calls," Cameron said,
Foreman: That American remake sucked SO bad... like the sequels to the original.
"three are from Catherine, one is from
Wilson and the other is from
Cameron: *herself* the future, and it's how I'm gonna die!
my mum but not one of them left a message, we
should go now," Cameron said as she got her jacket and House did the same then
they left.
Mark: House got Cameron's jacket too?
HOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOSUEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSEHOUSE
All: STOP IT!
Once they arrived they went to the front desk and Cameron asked, "Hi, I'm
Allison Cameron, can I talk to Catherine Willows please?"
All: NO.
The lady behind the desk looked up and said, "Sure, she has been expecting you,
she called you three times. Right this way," she said getting up to lead them to
Catherine's office, she just knocked on the door and left House and Cameron
standing there awaiting the door to open and when it did Catherine told them to
come in and sit down.
All: *snore*
"I thought you two would come soon, I have some news but first I need you to
identify a body for me," Catherine said.
Derek: Wow. Classy.
Cameron feared the worst, either her sister was dead or that nasty Sara
Mcfinnigan was dead, but they got up and followed Catherine to the morgue to see
if it was Maria or Sara.
Chase: She cares about McFinnigan?
Once Cameron saw she gasped.
Tritter: Something's missing here!
"That's my sister, who did that to her, even though she tried to kill me, I love
her," Cameron said.
Jack: What's, with, all, those, excess, commas?
"She didn't try and kill you Allison, she was put up to it by Sara Mcfinnigan.
Your sister tried to stick up for you and herself to Sara and she murdered your
sister, we have her behind bars though," Catherine said,
Bree: Your sister murdered your sister?
House: Contradictions galore around here!!!!
"but we are just gonna
have to have you identify her, we can do it behind a glass mirror where she
can't see you but you can see her, we just need to know that we got the right
person," Catherine finished as Cameron nodded.
Foreman: Has this girl ever SEEN CSI?
"I wanna see her though, there will be police officers in the room won't there?"
Cameron asked.
Sawyer: No. They all hate your sorry guts.
"Yeah but I don't think it's the best idea, but it's your choice," Catherine
said.
All: *gag*
"I want to see her," Cameron decided, as Catherine ordered some officers to
bring Sara to a room, where she also took House and Cameron.
All: The PANIC ROOM!!!!
Once in the room Catherin told them they have five minutes.
Tritter: The 'e' is missing!!
"Why did you do it Sara? you never had to see me again, you could have just left
it but now you through away the rest of your life over me," Cameron started.
Wilson: You 'through' away?
"You're a bitch and so is your sister, when will you learn that I was always
gonna come after you, you're just lucky I was caught before I got to you again,
but mark my words Allison Cameron, when I get out of here, I will come back
after you," Sara finished as the cops took her away again.
Cameron: What IS she, Michael Myers?
Chase: From the 'intelligence' displayed, I'd guess Jason Voorhees is more likely.
A/N: So what did you guys think was it alright,
All: *hold up fingers in the OK sign* It stank!
plus sorry for not updaing in
ages.
Derek: Matter is, you shouldn't have updated!
[1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... back to House's office]
House: DDX?
Chase: What about no?
Foreman: Ditto.
Cameron: Me too.
Cuddy: Me three.
Wilson: Me four.
Derek: Me five.
Mark: Me six.
Jack: Me seven.
Sawyer: Me eight.
Bree: Me nine.
House: OK guys and gals, let's leave and... will somebody push the button?
Everybody pushes it at once.
PRINCETON PLAINSBORO THEATRE 3000
ANOTHER CHANCE AT LOVE (CHAPTER 18)
VERY!BAD!FIC BY LiL-mIz-WhItE-gUrL
MST BY TheWaughnMan
KEEP CIRCULATING THE FICS
-_^
Stinger: "Well that's different because that's my mother, now go away," House said as
Carlos left.
A Servolicious Production.
[ Our doctor today is |
creative ]