secrets. ssshhhhhhh
well this is my secret journal. my more personal stuff. i am who i am on the water level, but below that, things get muddy, unclear, distorted. even to myself. i've been reading some psychology self-realization books. it talks about being a self actualization person. someone who is aware of themselves and see reality for what it is. this all ties in with me going so unclear about myself and unmotivated. this week was horrible. i only went to two classes and i told myself after thanksgiving, i'm going to change. it's not that i don't enjoy my classes, it's just that i stay up so late getting drunk. i started drinking again. i'm drinking right. things were going so well. in communication class, we were asked to write 3 words we would like to have written on our epitaph to describe ourselves the way we wanted to be perceived. open-minded, responsible, easy-going. i often find myself to be none of those things. my roommates are awake. i don't like them knowing i stay up so late. i fear what they might think of me. i'm going to try and get some sleep. i have bad grammar. i've been told. i fucken need to work on that. i'll sleep on it.