(no subject)
Still mostly miserable, but in a few hours I'm going for my physical for the PRN job. Meanwhile poor J has been experiencing some not-so-great things in her life that have been unsettling for her.
She had a major falling out with friends. You can skip this part if you want. I'm going to write it down just to get it off my chest. She has a group of friends that pretty much use her for tech support. She owed them a favor many years ago, so she repaid them by doing some tech support for them. But the favors continued and got to be a habit that she couldn't break.
This group of friends are siblings, and their parents recently came from The Philippines for a month. After much begging, J agreed to host a party for them - twice - on top of treating them to breakfast one Saturday where they ordered some rather expensive food and, being elderly and having appetites like birds, most of the food went untouched. She had tried to encourage them to split an entree, but they were squabbling and the wife was mad because the husband always gets his way and she wants to order what she likes for a change, etc. so then a few weeks later it was the father's birthday and the family went out to dinner and J was not invited. She was very hurt by this. These people always insist that J is family and introduce her that way, right before they volunteer her to work on their computers. She was incensed that all it would cost them is 10 or 12 dollars to buy her dinner and she wasn't even worth that to them.
She had been aware for a long time that she was being used, but didn't quite know how to break away from the group. This was the push that she needed to cut them off on the one hand she is relieved, but on the other hand she is lonely and sad. This was the only social outlet and emotional support that she had. She never worked on trying to create other friendships saying "I already have friends". Now that that's gone she has to do something about finding other support at a time when she really just a doesn't feel like it.
Now that this has happened this house feels like a hollow promise. This hose is perfect for entertaining, with a large great room, swimming pool, outdoor kitchen and living area. She will talk wistfully about wanting to have a crawfish boil or a barbecue, and then says "but who will I invite?" She says she didn't build this house for us but only to resell it. Still, I know a large part of her imagined entertaining and basking in the joy of friends, and enjoying the compliments on owning such a beautiful home. I am very sad for her.
But true to her personality, she doesn't dwell on things. Already she's thinking about our options and what we can do. We have started talking about moving into one of the smaller rental properties she owns, and repurposing it to our wants and needs. We are going to a home building seminar tonight and see about building on a lot that we already on. Plus we are looking at seeing if we can relocate to another part of the country where we might be happier and have a better quality of life
I am sad that this happened, but I am also happy for her that now she feels set free. She no longer feels obligated to put forth any more time or effort toward these people. She did that for years and in the end, it was for nothing. Now she is using that time and energy and focusing on herself,, and I say it's about time. It's long overdue. And with her typical energy and drive, the possibilities are frankly dizzying.
Stay tuned. Big, exciting changes ahead.
She had a major falling out with friends. You can skip this part if you want. I'm going to write it down just to get it off my chest. She has a group of friends that pretty much use her for tech support. She owed them a favor many years ago, so she repaid them by doing some tech support for them. But the favors continued and got to be a habit that she couldn't break.
This group of friends are siblings, and their parents recently came from The Philippines for a month. After much begging, J agreed to host a party for them - twice - on top of treating them to breakfast one Saturday where they ordered some rather expensive food and, being elderly and having appetites like birds, most of the food went untouched. She had tried to encourage them to split an entree, but they were squabbling and the wife was mad because the husband always gets his way and she wants to order what she likes for a change, etc. so then a few weeks later it was the father's birthday and the family went out to dinner and J was not invited. She was very hurt by this. These people always insist that J is family and introduce her that way, right before they volunteer her to work on their computers. She was incensed that all it would cost them is 10 or 12 dollars to buy her dinner and she wasn't even worth that to them.
She had been aware for a long time that she was being used, but didn't quite know how to break away from the group. This was the push that she needed to cut them off on the one hand she is relieved, but on the other hand she is lonely and sad. This was the only social outlet and emotional support that she had. She never worked on trying to create other friendships saying "I already have friends". Now that that's gone she has to do something about finding other support at a time when she really just a doesn't feel like it.
Now that this has happened this house feels like a hollow promise. This hose is perfect for entertaining, with a large great room, swimming pool, outdoor kitchen and living area. She will talk wistfully about wanting to have a crawfish boil or a barbecue, and then says "but who will I invite?" She says she didn't build this house for us but only to resell it. Still, I know a large part of her imagined entertaining and basking in the joy of friends, and enjoying the compliments on owning such a beautiful home. I am very sad for her.
But true to her personality, she doesn't dwell on things. Already she's thinking about our options and what we can do. We have started talking about moving into one of the smaller rental properties she owns, and repurposing it to our wants and needs. We are going to a home building seminar tonight and see about building on a lot that we already on. Plus we are looking at seeing if we can relocate to another part of the country where we might be happier and have a better quality of life
I am sad that this happened, but I am also happy for her that now she feels set free. She no longer feels obligated to put forth any more time or effort toward these people. She did that for years and in the end, it was for nothing. Now she is using that time and energy and focusing on herself,, and I say it's about time. It's long overdue. And with her typical energy and drive, the possibilities are frankly dizzying.
Stay tuned. Big, exciting changes ahead.