(no subject)
The St. Johnswort is doing it's job way better than I expected.
I suddenly have the energy I have been craving for months. No more dragging myself out of bed and struggling to get through the day. I can stay on task with things without losing interest.
Of course, having only worked 14 hours this week might have something to do with it. I am a little bummed about not having worked more than that, but I put in a lot of extra time last week so at least I'll have a decent paycheck. Just for fun I checked my pay stub from this time last year, and the hours are almost identical.
Every day feels like Christmas, and not in a hyper, frenzied sort of way. Just a general enthusiasm about the day and a desire to get started on the projects I have lined up for myself. I still have bright-shiny-objects syndrome that works like this. I have a stack of stuff on my desk and I don't know what to do with it. Hmmm. Let's see what's on Facebook. LOL.
Since I didn't work a lot of hours this week, I put more energy into working out. J and I have gone on two 45-minute long walks, and I've bicycled three times.
Another reason for the energy boost is that I have been working hard on making lifestyle changes, little baby ones, one at a time, that are now starting to pay off. The biggest, bestest change was quitting smoking - almost four months smoke-free now. Next was exercising, first one day a week, then two, now three or more. Next was cutting out desert and not eating random sweets - no more eating abandoned cupcakes and cookies found in breakrooms where I work. I made myself a deal that I can eat desert once a day when I get home, and then I make something that's lower in fat and sugar. For example, sugar-free Cool Whip spooned between Graham crackers and popped in the freezer. It's just like eating an ice cream sandwich and only about 60 calories. I already knew this, but eating sweets causes a craving for more sweets. I had to give myself time to break the habit, and now since I don't eat them as much, I don't crave them as much.
The latest change is eating unprocessed food as much as possible, and making vegetables the main part of my meal plan. Whatever meal I have it starts with a vegetable - steamed winter vegetables, crudites or salad, then build the rest of the meal around it. To avoid processed food I'm eating more things like bread and cheese, a simple steak, a potato, plain yogurt with fruit, pasta with olive oil and fresh garlic, things like that. Of course, it's not always possible and I still have to resort to a Healthy Choice or Lean Cuisine once a day, but I figure every little bit helps. I also had to accept that making this change means I have to shop for groceries more often so I can keep a steady supply of fresh, unprocessed food around. The good news is that with the extra energy I have from eating better, it's not so bad going to the store more often.
Then a few weeks ago I blew the dust off my bread machine and have been baking my own bread. J loves fresh baked bread and I love baking it, so this has been a fun activity for both of us. The baking project has had an unexpected benefit for J. We noticed that when she eats the fresh baked bread her blood sugar is lower than if she eats store-bought bread.
J had been asking for my help with her diet, and with the depression I just couldn't focus on it. Now that I'm feeling better it has been easier for me to research food and cook healthier food that benefits us both.
I could tell I was losing weight but haven't weighed myself in a while. Then today J snapped this picture of me and you can see in my face that I've definitely lost weight....
Um, it'll have to wait. For some reason Javascript won't let me import the photo, but it's the latest one I put on Facebook. Compared to less than a month ago in Ireland, my face has changed a little. I don't know if the problem is with Livejournal or with my computer, but I'll try again tomorrow.
The goal for this change was to feel better. Weight loss is just a bonus. I didn't make it the singular goal. I noticed that avoiding sugar makes my stomach feel better. I've always had a bit of an acid stomach; not the reflex kind. Just a constant dull discomfort. Now that's mostly gone.
The next thing on my agenda is working on cleaning up my office. I made a step in that direction by buying a photo box and also a decorative box to chunk things in instead of having things scattered all over the desk. Over the past few months I've managed to sell a few books on E-Bay and Amazon so that's helping me to declutter. Then last weekend I bought a CD wallet and I'm consolidating CDs I've burned over time.
In between all this I've been making time for fun. I've been doing bits and pieces on the beaded necklace. In the past I'd been obsessing way to much on organizing the beads and making decisions, but that was part of the depression. Now that I'm getting mentally clear I'm able to figure out what to do with it. I took a photo of my progress, but the Javascript thing won't let me show it to you.
All the pieces of my life now fit together as an integrated whole. The bicycling makes me want to listen to music, which is getting me to clean up my music files, which is making me clean up my CDs and the more I bicycle the better my diet is, which makes me organize the pantry and my cookbooks, which makes me weed out stuff I don't use and give it way, and so on. Everything I do is connected to something else and don't exist as independent activities. I've never had this sort of continuity before. I'm enjoying it.
I suddenly have the energy I have been craving for months. No more dragging myself out of bed and struggling to get through the day. I can stay on task with things without losing interest.
Of course, having only worked 14 hours this week might have something to do with it. I am a little bummed about not having worked more than that, but I put in a lot of extra time last week so at least I'll have a decent paycheck. Just for fun I checked my pay stub from this time last year, and the hours are almost identical.
Every day feels like Christmas, and not in a hyper, frenzied sort of way. Just a general enthusiasm about the day and a desire to get started on the projects I have lined up for myself. I still have bright-shiny-objects syndrome that works like this. I have a stack of stuff on my desk and I don't know what to do with it. Hmmm. Let's see what's on Facebook. LOL.
Since I didn't work a lot of hours this week, I put more energy into working out. J and I have gone on two 45-minute long walks, and I've bicycled three times.
Another reason for the energy boost is that I have been working hard on making lifestyle changes, little baby ones, one at a time, that are now starting to pay off. The biggest, bestest change was quitting smoking - almost four months smoke-free now. Next was exercising, first one day a week, then two, now three or more. Next was cutting out desert and not eating random sweets - no more eating abandoned cupcakes and cookies found in breakrooms where I work. I made myself a deal that I can eat desert once a day when I get home, and then I make something that's lower in fat and sugar. For example, sugar-free Cool Whip spooned between Graham crackers and popped in the freezer. It's just like eating an ice cream sandwich and only about 60 calories. I already knew this, but eating sweets causes a craving for more sweets. I had to give myself time to break the habit, and now since I don't eat them as much, I don't crave them as much.
The latest change is eating unprocessed food as much as possible, and making vegetables the main part of my meal plan. Whatever meal I have it starts with a vegetable - steamed winter vegetables, crudites or salad, then build the rest of the meal around it. To avoid processed food I'm eating more things like bread and cheese, a simple steak, a potato, plain yogurt with fruit, pasta with olive oil and fresh garlic, things like that. Of course, it's not always possible and I still have to resort to a Healthy Choice or Lean Cuisine once a day, but I figure every little bit helps. I also had to accept that making this change means I have to shop for groceries more often so I can keep a steady supply of fresh, unprocessed food around. The good news is that with the extra energy I have from eating better, it's not so bad going to the store more often.
Then a few weeks ago I blew the dust off my bread machine and have been baking my own bread. J loves fresh baked bread and I love baking it, so this has been a fun activity for both of us. The baking project has had an unexpected benefit for J. We noticed that when she eats the fresh baked bread her blood sugar is lower than if she eats store-bought bread.
J had been asking for my help with her diet, and with the depression I just couldn't focus on it. Now that I'm feeling better it has been easier for me to research food and cook healthier food that benefits us both.
I could tell I was losing weight but haven't weighed myself in a while. Then today J snapped this picture of me and you can see in my face that I've definitely lost weight....
Um, it'll have to wait. For some reason Javascript won't let me import the photo, but it's the latest one I put on Facebook. Compared to less than a month ago in Ireland, my face has changed a little. I don't know if the problem is with Livejournal or with my computer, but I'll try again tomorrow.
The goal for this change was to feel better. Weight loss is just a bonus. I didn't make it the singular goal. I noticed that avoiding sugar makes my stomach feel better. I've always had a bit of an acid stomach; not the reflex kind. Just a constant dull discomfort. Now that's mostly gone.
The next thing on my agenda is working on cleaning up my office. I made a step in that direction by buying a photo box and also a decorative box to chunk things in instead of having things scattered all over the desk. Over the past few months I've managed to sell a few books on E-Bay and Amazon so that's helping me to declutter. Then last weekend I bought a CD wallet and I'm consolidating CDs I've burned over time.
In between all this I've been making time for fun. I've been doing bits and pieces on the beaded necklace. In the past I'd been obsessing way to much on organizing the beads and making decisions, but that was part of the depression. Now that I'm getting mentally clear I'm able to figure out what to do with it. I took a photo of my progress, but the Javascript thing won't let me show it to you.
All the pieces of my life now fit together as an integrated whole. The bicycling makes me want to listen to music, which is getting me to clean up my music files, which is making me clean up my CDs and the more I bicycle the better my diet is, which makes me organize the pantry and my cookbooks, which makes me weed out stuff I don't use and give it way, and so on. Everything I do is connected to something else and don't exist as independent activities. I've never had this sort of continuity before. I'm enjoying it.