Nov 30, 2009 11:12
I just read this on the BBC news site and it's hilarious! These are attempts by some well known authors to sex scenes.
"It was as if she were wearing a mask on her genitals, a weird totem mask, that made her into what she was not and was not supposed to be..."
...Paul Theroux...
"Her hands were all over me, four hands it seemed, or more than four, and as she touched she made me weightless, lifting me off the table in a prolonged ritual of levitation..."
...Booker Prize winner John Banville...
"She puts her hands flat against his chest and leans into him in a simulacrum of a swoon, making a mewling sound."
and musician Nick Cave...
Bunny lies on his back on the sofa. He is naked and his clothes sit in sad, little heaps on the living room floor
Some truly appalling attempts in my opinion. Flowery language and more than two arms per person really don't work, unless you're on an alien planet getting to know the locals. I can understand how its difficult to do, but either don't do it or put some proper effort in, so to speak. *g*
writing