Next Chapter
In a few weeks time I'll be finishing my time up in Liverpool and it's a little scary, a lot exciting and kind of sad. There's new friends I've made since I arrived there, some only in these last few months, but lovely people I will stay in touch with, see again and hopefully be friends to count in the time ahead. I think is a place I'll be returning to.
I learned how to appreciate my family as well, it is easy to take things for granted when they're always around, and to a degree I think you need to. It would be too much to awarely appreciative all the time, but it's a good thing to remember. I get on better with my parents, and having the chance to grow up some I have more I can say and do with them too.
I still seem to get along better with my brother than my sister, but I think i know better how to make the right effort with my sister. It always frustrated me that I didn't seem to hit the right note with her, but never knew how to reach it. I have a better idea now and I want to make sure we do better.
I've lost a couple of things too, some things I took for granted to always be there, takes some adjusting to having it gone. There are some people I'm most likely not going to see again and some of them I'll miss and hope I do and I wont.
It seems like everyone is heading off into their own lives more so now than ever. My brother is moving in with his girlfriend, Carla this month, though still in Northampton that's quite a step. Takes him away from the boy I remember as my little brother, but I'm so happy for him. My sister is going to move to the Isle of Man and is moving in with her boyfriend Adrian and I'm glad she's found someone.
Then in a few months time I'll flying over to Toronto in Canada, to travel round for a year, hopefully find some work, meet new people, have adventures. It feels like it's not just me going away, but everyone splitting off, finding new paths that are further apart than they were before.
It's exciting, and I'm looking forward to going, but I feel sad that people are splitting off and making new lives. I can't go back to one place and have everyone there anymore and that hurts a little.
Also it feels like everyone has their own special person, all paired off and I'm glad that they've found someone like that, but it also makes me feel more aware of how I don't have that and it's not something I've ever found yet. I've not really had a proper boyfriend, though I have had almost a proper girlfiend at one point, who is someone I still count as a close and dear friend.
I'd like to have someone to wonder with. I feel like cut loose in a way, although I have a possible career chance ahead of me that I want to do, it isn't something solid, like 9 to 5 job that I'd settle down for. I'm not sure where I want to be, but I know I want to see more, learn more. I never feel lonely with my friends, but they can't always be around and I wouldn't always want them to be.
I think I would like someone to always be there though, and after knowing what the pain of having to lose something that close to your is like, it makes it less scary to risk that again. I got through it, I wasn't alone and even with the bad that you don't forget, there was the good I can remember as well. If I can be true to who I am and hold onto my standards of how I feel is the right way to be, then I can go through life knowing I haven't done anything I should feel ashamed off or regret too deeply.
I can trust in myself, I guess I have faith in myself and that gives me an anchor. I'll find the right person at some point, and have fun finding them too. I'll do what makes me happy and keep my friends and family and make sure they're also happy.
Things can be good just with that.
I learned how to appreciate my family as well, it is easy to take things for granted when they're always around, and to a degree I think you need to. It would be too much to awarely appreciative all the time, but it's a good thing to remember. I get on better with my parents, and having the chance to grow up some I have more I can say and do with them too.
I still seem to get along better with my brother than my sister, but I think i know better how to make the right effort with my sister. It always frustrated me that I didn't seem to hit the right note with her, but never knew how to reach it. I have a better idea now and I want to make sure we do better.
I've lost a couple of things too, some things I took for granted to always be there, takes some adjusting to having it gone. There are some people I'm most likely not going to see again and some of them I'll miss and hope I do and I wont.
It seems like everyone is heading off into their own lives more so now than ever. My brother is moving in with his girlfriend, Carla this month, though still in Northampton that's quite a step. Takes him away from the boy I remember as my little brother, but I'm so happy for him. My sister is going to move to the Isle of Man and is moving in with her boyfriend Adrian and I'm glad she's found someone.
Then in a few months time I'll flying over to Toronto in Canada, to travel round for a year, hopefully find some work, meet new people, have adventures. It feels like it's not just me going away, but everyone splitting off, finding new paths that are further apart than they were before.
It's exciting, and I'm looking forward to going, but I feel sad that people are splitting off and making new lives. I can't go back to one place and have everyone there anymore and that hurts a little.
Also it feels like everyone has their own special person, all paired off and I'm glad that they've found someone like that, but it also makes me feel more aware of how I don't have that and it's not something I've ever found yet. I've not really had a proper boyfriend, though I have had almost a proper girlfiend at one point, who is someone I still count as a close and dear friend.
I'd like to have someone to wonder with. I feel like cut loose in a way, although I have a possible career chance ahead of me that I want to do, it isn't something solid, like 9 to 5 job that I'd settle down for. I'm not sure where I want to be, but I know I want to see more, learn more. I never feel lonely with my friends, but they can't always be around and I wouldn't always want them to be.
I think I would like someone to always be there though, and after knowing what the pain of having to lose something that close to your is like, it makes it less scary to risk that again. I got through it, I wasn't alone and even with the bad that you don't forget, there was the good I can remember as well. If I can be true to who I am and hold onto my standards of how I feel is the right way to be, then I can go through life knowing I haven't done anything I should feel ashamed off or regret too deeply.
I can trust in myself, I guess I have faith in myself and that gives me an anchor. I'll find the right person at some point, and have fun finding them too. I'll do what makes me happy and keep my friends and family and make sure they're also happy.
Things can be good just with that.