Twenty-Five.
1. I have a scar on my forehead/dent in my skull and a scar under my chin, which are the results of being dropped on my head as a child. Twice. Dropped. On my head. TWICE. I should have been raised by wolves.
2. My parents didn't figure out I needed eyeglasses or that I had had a deadly nut allergy until I was in junior high school. The blinding headaches and throat closing never tipped them off. I should have been raised by wolves.
3. Moxie and milk (take a highball glass, fill with ice, pour half a glass of Moxie brand cola -- a soda as thick and vile as a tongue kiss from homeless maniac who brushes his teeth with dumpster shavings - top off with milk) may have been invented by my father, and is quite possibly my favorite drink. I haven't had one in years.
4. As a child I was kicked out of the following for various infractions: karate class, boxing class, acrobatic dance class (it's a long story), Little League and the Cub Scouts of America.
5. As an adult, I was kicked out of the following for various infractions: most of the better bars in the City of Boston, most of the seedier bars in the City of Boston, libraries, museums, Showcase Cinemas, malls, grocery stores, car dealerships, churches, five star restaurants and almost every gymnasium I've been a member of.
6. I'm fascinated with submarines, conspiracy theories, abandoned amusement parks and movies that were re-cut by the studio.
7. Gun to my head my top five favorite movies are Rocky, Rushmore, The Empire Strikes Back, Die Hard, and either GoodFellas, Blues Brothers, or Heat. I can never decide.
8. Unlike most men my age, I love Rocky II (he drives a Bandit-style Trans Am) and kind of hate Rocky IV (there's no way on God's green earth a piece of shit like Paulie figures out how to reprogram a robot).
9. If I had to live the life of any TV character, I'd choose Thomas Sullivan Magnum. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the man is a former spy who lives for free in a guest house, tools around in a free Ferrari, wears short pants and Tommy Bahama shirts all day, every day and shoots Hawaiians with impunity.
10. Famous movie director, Kevin Smith, has called me a "fag" on more than one occasion and stole the concept of using the word "clownshoe" as an insult from me. Every word is true.
11. I make mix-tapes better than anyone you know or will ever know.
12. When I graduated college I had enough money to buy either a car or a Rolex watch. I bought a Rolex. I have never regretted this decision.
13. I should have joined the service and delayed college. Some time on an aircraft carrier would have done more for my character than playing Madden drunk until 4 in the morning.
14. I'm wildly secretive, which makes writing this list difficult.
15. I think the 70's were the greatest decade ever. As much as I love the instant gratification of new millennium nonsense, things tend to be too complicated or too clean. I miss the simplicity and danger of the disco era.
16. My favorite actors are Burt Reynolds, James Caan, Robert Duvall, Gene Hackman, James Cagney, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, Sylvester Stallone and occasionally, Bruce Willis, although he has a lot to answer for.
17. I believe in loyalty above all else. There's a line in The Wild Bunch, "It's not your word, it's who you give it to." I believe in that too.
18. Pneumonia has almost killed me twice. The thing is, Zourases are like vampires, we can't be killed with conventional weapons.
19. I'm obsessed with doing Disney-related research. It all stems from the truly awful, horrific trips I've taken to Disneyland/World. In a lot of ways, I'm a broken child.
20. I'm terrified of air travel. I'm a control freak and the idea of placing my life in the hands of a drunken pilot (I assume all pilots are drinkers. Maybe pill-poppers. You don't strap into the front seat of a thousand mile per hour, winged danger-torpedo without a little something to settle the nerves) makes me want to throw up my shoes. I would feel better if they'd let me sit in the cockpit, that way if there was trouble, I could help out. I'm super helpful.
21. I take ninjas over pirates every damn day.
22. There are good numbers and bad numbers. I don't know if it's OCD, the cumulative effects of the variety of head injuries I sustained as a child, voodoo magic or what, but I feel strongly some numbers are good and some are bad. 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 21, 23, 24, 27 - all good. 2, 13, 17, 22, 43, 47, 70 - all bad. Just take my word for this. 113, 470 - bad. 214,779 - good.
23. Some words are inherently funny. Wagon, sandwich, face, awesome. There are lots more, but you get the idea. Example, "I could go for an awesome-faced sandwich wagon." See? Feel free to play at home.
24. I have a compulsive personality, especially when it comes to TV. I binge on certain ridiculously specific programs then drop them completely. I'll watch nothing but DIY shows about tile work. I'll watch nothing but Battlestar Galactica. I'll watch nothing but true crime on A and E or World War II commando documentaries, then never watch them again. I get sick of everything after a while, everything but Food Network.
25. I have a dazzling array of skills, talents and super powers, but what I'm best at, is being awesome.
2. My parents didn't figure out I needed eyeglasses or that I had had a deadly nut allergy until I was in junior high school. The blinding headaches and throat closing never tipped them off. I should have been raised by wolves.
3. Moxie and milk (take a highball glass, fill with ice, pour half a glass of Moxie brand cola -- a soda as thick and vile as a tongue kiss from homeless maniac who brushes his teeth with dumpster shavings - top off with milk) may have been invented by my father, and is quite possibly my favorite drink. I haven't had one in years.
4. As a child I was kicked out of the following for various infractions: karate class, boxing class, acrobatic dance class (it's a long story), Little League and the Cub Scouts of America.
5. As an adult, I was kicked out of the following for various infractions: most of the better bars in the City of Boston, most of the seedier bars in the City of Boston, libraries, museums, Showcase Cinemas, malls, grocery stores, car dealerships, churches, five star restaurants and almost every gymnasium I've been a member of.
6. I'm fascinated with submarines, conspiracy theories, abandoned amusement parks and movies that were re-cut by the studio.
7. Gun to my head my top five favorite movies are Rocky, Rushmore, The Empire Strikes Back, Die Hard, and either GoodFellas, Blues Brothers, or Heat. I can never decide.
8. Unlike most men my age, I love Rocky II (he drives a Bandit-style Trans Am) and kind of hate Rocky IV (there's no way on God's green earth a piece of shit like Paulie figures out how to reprogram a robot).
9. If I had to live the life of any TV character, I'd choose Thomas Sullivan Magnum. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the man is a former spy who lives for free in a guest house, tools around in a free Ferrari, wears short pants and Tommy Bahama shirts all day, every day and shoots Hawaiians with impunity.
10. Famous movie director, Kevin Smith, has called me a "fag" on more than one occasion and stole the concept of using the word "clownshoe" as an insult from me. Every word is true.
11. I make mix-tapes better than anyone you know or will ever know.
12. When I graduated college I had enough money to buy either a car or a Rolex watch. I bought a Rolex. I have never regretted this decision.
13. I should have joined the service and delayed college. Some time on an aircraft carrier would have done more for my character than playing Madden drunk until 4 in the morning.
14. I'm wildly secretive, which makes writing this list difficult.
15. I think the 70's were the greatest decade ever. As much as I love the instant gratification of new millennium nonsense, things tend to be too complicated or too clean. I miss the simplicity and danger of the disco era.
16. My favorite actors are Burt Reynolds, James Caan, Robert Duvall, Gene Hackman, James Cagney, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, Sylvester Stallone and occasionally, Bruce Willis, although he has a lot to answer for.
17. I believe in loyalty above all else. There's a line in The Wild Bunch, "It's not your word, it's who you give it to." I believe in that too.
18. Pneumonia has almost killed me twice. The thing is, Zourases are like vampires, we can't be killed with conventional weapons.
19. I'm obsessed with doing Disney-related research. It all stems from the truly awful, horrific trips I've taken to Disneyland/World. In a lot of ways, I'm a broken child.
20. I'm terrified of air travel. I'm a control freak and the idea of placing my life in the hands of a drunken pilot (I assume all pilots are drinkers. Maybe pill-poppers. You don't strap into the front seat of a thousand mile per hour, winged danger-torpedo without a little something to settle the nerves) makes me want to throw up my shoes. I would feel better if they'd let me sit in the cockpit, that way if there was trouble, I could help out. I'm super helpful.
21. I take ninjas over pirates every damn day.
22. There are good numbers and bad numbers. I don't know if it's OCD, the cumulative effects of the variety of head injuries I sustained as a child, voodoo magic or what, but I feel strongly some numbers are good and some are bad. 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 21, 23, 24, 27 - all good. 2, 13, 17, 22, 43, 47, 70 - all bad. Just take my word for this. 113, 470 - bad. 214,779 - good.
23. Some words are inherently funny. Wagon, sandwich, face, awesome. There are lots more, but you get the idea. Example, "I could go for an awesome-faced sandwich wagon." See? Feel free to play at home.
24. I have a compulsive personality, especially when it comes to TV. I binge on certain ridiculously specific programs then drop them completely. I'll watch nothing but DIY shows about tile work. I'll watch nothing but Battlestar Galactica. I'll watch nothing but true crime on A and E or World War II commando documentaries, then never watch them again. I get sick of everything after a while, everything but Food Network.
25. I have a dazzling array of skills, talents and super powers, but what I'm best at, is being awesome.