hi
I've been struggling with social media lately. I don't really know where to do it anymore. Facebook is the most obvious option, because it's what everyone else is using, but I find it almost unusable. It's just a mess. There's no sense to order in which things are displayed. Some things end up buried. The ads are out of control. I also really hate how it tries to force you to watch people interacting with their own friends and family, which I couldn't care less about.
I've been trying to make twitter work for me, but I find that more often than not, it stresses me out. Everything moves too quickly and the tone of it isn't comfortable. I want to feel like I'm sitting down having a conversation. Twitter feels more like everyone is at a party talking at once and you're trying to scream to be heard. Plus, while I'm trying to be more socially aware and cognizant of my place in the world, I find the constant discussion about privilege and oppression and marginalization and all the stuff that goes along with that exhausting. I think it's an important conversation to have, and I'm happy to have it, but maybe not all day every day.
So Twitter is kind of out for me.
I use instagram and it's fine for what it is, but it's not blogging. It's not expressive beyond photographs really. I like it, but it not doing what I need it to do.
I gave Ello a shot, but it turned out to be a massive pile of fail.
I don't understand Snapchat. Sandra plays with it, but I don't think she's socializing at all. Just making her own selfies puke rainbows or whatever.
Sandra also follows a lot of people on youtube, and I've considered vlogging, but I don't think I've got the confidence or an interesting enough life to pull that one off. I'm still thinking about it.
I'm a writer though, and I'd much rather have a text based social media.
I checked out Medium.com and it's interesting but really only works if you're trying to write articles and think pieces, which I don't do much of anymore. I've been out of this kind of writing for long enough that I think I've lost the feel for it.
Feeling a little lost and displaced. So I end up back here, as usual. Part of me thinks that if it's good enough for George RR Martin, then it should be good enough for me. But then again, civil war caps, suspenders and writing on a computer with no internet or spell check are good enough for GRRM and even I'm not willing to go that route. So perhaps he's not the best yardstick for functionality.
So here I am. What's been going on with me?
I went through a good couple of years writing books and trying to sell them but I made pretty much no money. I'm still trying, but only barely. I've been drawing and doing some digital painting and I've made a bit of money with that, but nothing worth getting excited about.
Sandra was in a car accident seven years ago and we've been wrapped up in lawsuit that should hopefully be resolved any day now. Sandra was banged up pretty bad but is getting by. The accident changed our lived significantly.
I've come to recognize a few things as I've gotten older. The first is that I'm probably not ever going to live in California full time again. I don't have a home base there and Sandra's career is here. Unless I somehow get a million dollar career, I'm going to be living here.
I'm also not going to be a filmmaker. I have the desire for it, but not the temperament. I've far too anxious and I'm terrible at leading people. I'm scatterbrained and can't focus enough to get the work done. I see that now. Instead I focus on art projects that I can accomplish on my own, like writing and art.
I quit smoking after the accident and haven't had a cigarette in seven years.
Getting older, getting fatter, slowing down. That's pretty much my life. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for a year or so now and I think that's making a difference. On different meds. Still dealing with bouts of suicidal thoughts, and I have the odd breakdown, but it's not like it was.
I don't know what this was supposed to be, but I needed to write somewhere. I miss the way Livejournal used to be. Nothing has come along that creates that same feeling of people expressing themselves together for me. I liked it a lot.
I have dreams where I go to some old house that I used to live in and discover that a lot of my stuff is still there, packed up in boxes in the attic or whatever. Toys from my childhood, books, clothes, random shit. The dream is usually spent browsing through the old stuff and remembering, or trying to figure out how to take it all with me and realizing I can't. Sometimes in the dreams I work on trying to fix the house up so I can reclaim that old dead part of myself.
This kind of feels like that. I know this isn't a solution, but it's what's familiar and I miss it.
I've been trying to make twitter work for me, but I find that more often than not, it stresses me out. Everything moves too quickly and the tone of it isn't comfortable. I want to feel like I'm sitting down having a conversation. Twitter feels more like everyone is at a party talking at once and you're trying to scream to be heard. Plus, while I'm trying to be more socially aware and cognizant of my place in the world, I find the constant discussion about privilege and oppression and marginalization and all the stuff that goes along with that exhausting. I think it's an important conversation to have, and I'm happy to have it, but maybe not all day every day.
So Twitter is kind of out for me.
I use instagram and it's fine for what it is, but it's not blogging. It's not expressive beyond photographs really. I like it, but it not doing what I need it to do.
I gave Ello a shot, but it turned out to be a massive pile of fail.
I don't understand Snapchat. Sandra plays with it, but I don't think she's socializing at all. Just making her own selfies puke rainbows or whatever.
Sandra also follows a lot of people on youtube, and I've considered vlogging, but I don't think I've got the confidence or an interesting enough life to pull that one off. I'm still thinking about it.
I'm a writer though, and I'd much rather have a text based social media.
I checked out Medium.com and it's interesting but really only works if you're trying to write articles and think pieces, which I don't do much of anymore. I've been out of this kind of writing for long enough that I think I've lost the feel for it.
Feeling a little lost and displaced. So I end up back here, as usual. Part of me thinks that if it's good enough for George RR Martin, then it should be good enough for me. But then again, civil war caps, suspenders and writing on a computer with no internet or spell check are good enough for GRRM and even I'm not willing to go that route. So perhaps he's not the best yardstick for functionality.
So here I am. What's been going on with me?
I went through a good couple of years writing books and trying to sell them but I made pretty much no money. I'm still trying, but only barely. I've been drawing and doing some digital painting and I've made a bit of money with that, but nothing worth getting excited about.
Sandra was in a car accident seven years ago and we've been wrapped up in lawsuit that should hopefully be resolved any day now. Sandra was banged up pretty bad but is getting by. The accident changed our lived significantly.
I've come to recognize a few things as I've gotten older. The first is that I'm probably not ever going to live in California full time again. I don't have a home base there and Sandra's career is here. Unless I somehow get a million dollar career, I'm going to be living here.
I'm also not going to be a filmmaker. I have the desire for it, but not the temperament. I've far too anxious and I'm terrible at leading people. I'm scatterbrained and can't focus enough to get the work done. I see that now. Instead I focus on art projects that I can accomplish on my own, like writing and art.
I quit smoking after the accident and haven't had a cigarette in seven years.
Getting older, getting fatter, slowing down. That's pretty much my life. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for a year or so now and I think that's making a difference. On different meds. Still dealing with bouts of suicidal thoughts, and I have the odd breakdown, but it's not like it was.
I don't know what this was supposed to be, but I needed to write somewhere. I miss the way Livejournal used to be. Nothing has come along that creates that same feeling of people expressing themselves together for me. I liked it a lot.
I have dreams where I go to some old house that I used to live in and discover that a lot of my stuff is still there, packed up in boxes in the attic or whatever. Toys from my childhood, books, clothes, random shit. The dream is usually spent browsing through the old stuff and remembering, or trying to figure out how to take it all with me and realizing I can't. Sometimes in the dreams I work on trying to fix the house up so I can reclaim that old dead part of myself.
This kind of feels like that. I know this isn't a solution, but it's what's familiar and I miss it.