(no subject)
I've noticed that it's late and I'm really tired and meant to go to bed early tonight I really hate writing.
Well, okay, that's not quite fair. I hate writing while I'm not doing it, and I only moderately dislike it while I am. I can never seem to get anything done, because the biggest hurdle for me (maybe not the biggest, but at least the first, and that is always the most daunting) is starting. Not even just starting the project, but each day, starting to write anything. I have to start over every day, because whatever joy I may have gained from writing the previous day is lost and forgotten as soon as I stop. I always feel like writing when I can't, and feel no motivation when I can. I mean, it's fun imagining what it will be like when I'm a world-famous author, with a million plus dollars from royalties, with my book being produced into a movie, giving interviews to the major talkshows on television, having random fans come up to me to say they love my books, even just winning the Scholastic contest that I'm writing this for. It all sounds really good, but I just wish that could happen without effort on my part.
I'm lazy, what can I say?
It doesn't help that while I'm inactive and just thinking about writing, I start analyzing my ideas so much until I think they're the worst and stupidest ideas ever, and then I lose all enthusiasm and I want to write even less. I need to write it through once, very quickly (impossible with school), and then go through and let my inner editor have her way then.
I'm too tired for this to make much sense.
Oh, I wrote like eight hundred words tonight. Didn't think I would.
Well, okay, that's not quite fair. I hate writing while I'm not doing it, and I only moderately dislike it while I am. I can never seem to get anything done, because the biggest hurdle for me (maybe not the biggest, but at least the first, and that is always the most daunting) is starting. Not even just starting the project, but each day, starting to write anything. I have to start over every day, because whatever joy I may have gained from writing the previous day is lost and forgotten as soon as I stop. I always feel like writing when I can't, and feel no motivation when I can. I mean, it's fun imagining what it will be like when I'm a world-famous author, with a million plus dollars from royalties, with my book being produced into a movie, giving interviews to the major talkshows on television, having random fans come up to me to say they love my books, even just winning the Scholastic contest that I'm writing this for. It all sounds really good, but I just wish that could happen without effort on my part.
I'm lazy, what can I say?
It doesn't help that while I'm inactive and just thinking about writing, I start analyzing my ideas so much until I think they're the worst and stupidest ideas ever, and then I lose all enthusiasm and I want to write even less. I need to write it through once, very quickly (impossible with school), and then go through and let my inner editor have her way then.
I'm too tired for this to make much sense.
Oh, I wrote like eight hundred words tonight. Didn't think I would.