oh

[thewaker]

It is so weird how much music effects my whole mood. I stumble across Country Roads by The LACS, which was my theme song last fall/winter, and it gave me chills just listening to it. I actually felt like I should throw on a coat and some knit boats and drive around on dirt roads with it on repeat. It also gave me that god awful sense of coming down, getting back up, then doing all over again. I love that song and the sad thing is the part I really relate to is "I fell flat on my back searching for my soul, country roads take me home back to the place where I belong"...which is crazy. I felt just that listening to it one night, and I packed my stuff and went home. If you know where home is, its in the middle of nowhere under my mother's roof. Way to bring back some repressed memories. I have never been too good at dealing with things that i consider "hard". I normally just change directions for awhile, and do my best to not think about whatever it is that is bothering me (or that I did). I guess the more healthy way to deal would be to face things head on and struggle over the hurdles right then and there. Normally I end up having to do just that eventually, anyways. Why do I prolong the healing process for so long? Why can't I be normal and just say "hey this makes me feel (insert emotion here), and "this is what I will do to deal with it"?

I complicate things for myself, too often.